Vision Impaired but Entrepreneurially Gifted - My Fascinating Conversation with Pat Malloy

When Pat Maloy was in about 6th grade, his mother noticed that the same genetic affliction that had struck his father had been passed down to him. And so when he was 15, she took a micro cassette recorder into the local DMV, was walked through the eye test by a technician and delivered the recorded cassette to Pat for memorization. Pat lived as a sighted person for nearly the next decade, despite not being able to read a stop sign until he's already parked at it. And even then, not really, they're just familiar. In his early 20s, Pat drifted into alcohol and was fired from his job at his parents' auto rental business and spiraled. When he was in his mid-20s, he was trying to get back in the right track, having gone through recovery and AA, and he was six months into his now 30 plus year sobriety, and he had confessed to his vision impairment. On an after Christmas trip, his parents were killed when a series of rogue waves off the aisle of Tortuga took out their scuba vessel, a heavy troller, killing all but one lone survivor. Against the odds, the franchise or for their auto rental business and the executive trustee of the estate allowed Pat to run the business. Within three years, Pat was operating one of the top locations in the franchise network, was selected to speak at an annual conference and was rolling in the back of a stretch mini-limel and being shuttled around by his rental car staff. Being part of the end crowd had its perks and its dangers. A local ophthalmologist helped Pat get a medical waiver and get his driver's license back. And he sold the rental business, moved around the country and traveled, started and closed, or sold other businesses, got married and lived again as a sighted person for another decade. Eventually, Pat got divorced and moved to Eaton from the Lyons area and nothing felt safe or familiar. And so he sacrificed his driving privileges again in 2012. This is a wild one with lots of moral ambiguity, inspirational entrepreneurship, and an almost constant investigation of purpose and overcoming. Pat works at the youth shelter for the Matthews house in Loveland and he's got a lot of talent in business and construction and time on his hands. So if you hear this conversation and have a new side quest for Pat Maloy and can provide transportation, email him at pat.maloyatgmail.com. Thanks for listening to the local experience. If this episode inspires you, please share it with a friend. Welcome to the local experience podcast. On this show, you'll get to know business and community leaders from all around Northern Colorado and beyond. Our guests share their stories and through it all, you'll be inspired and entertained. These conversations are real and raw and no topics are off limits. So pop in a breathman and get ready to meet our latest guest. Welcome back to the local experience podcast. My guest today is Pat Maloy and Pat works on the floor staff at the Landing Youth Shelter in Loveland that's operated by the Matthews house. He's also on the Disability Advisory Board for the City of Fort Collins. He's a very active volunteer and many time entrepreneur and he's visually impaired and was showing me before we got started, like what his world looks like, how far away he can read his clock on his phone compared to me, why he didn't drive here. Today, although he has driven a lot of miles. Yes, very true statement. Very true statement. Welcome to the show, Pat. Thanks for being here. Yeah, I drove a lot of miles, but I never did it legally. When I was 15 years old, my mom tape recorded an eye test for me. I memorized it and that's how I started driving. I was never ever supposed to drive. Really? So, she just knew what the eye chart looked like somehow? Well, what she did was we lived in Oregon, Hillsboro, Oregon and she stuck back in the day, a little micro cassette into her purse. She walks into the motor vehicles department, pretending she cannot afford an eye test and her eyes are bothering her. Mind you, I'm sitting in her Mercedes-Benz out in the parking lot. She literally says, I can't afford the eye test and I was wondering if you could help me. So, they let her take the eye test. She brings it out to the parking lot. I click and listen to the recording a couple of times, walk in and take the eye test with no idea what it's. Do you guys see those letters? Not even the biggest one. Not even the biggest one. Then went out and took the driving test, but I grew up on a farm. So, I had already been driving for years, scored a 98 on the driving test and off I went. And then there was no reason to really test you again after that, right? They don't test me each time. No, they don't. In Oregon, they didn't retest you. I moved states. I had ended up moving to Arizona in my early 20s and had to do the process all over again in order to continue the process. And like, had your girlfriend go, pretend to take the eye test or what? How did you pass the eye test? My mom was my parents' name. Oh, she still helped. And my mom was there to help. So, she's an accomplice in this a little bit. But you never run anybody over or anything? In the beginning, I had a lot of accidents. I had a bit of a drinking problem that didn't help. But in the beginning, I had a whole bunch of accidents. But once I kind of started figuring it out, what I could see, what I couldn't. How do I anticipate where these blobs are moving? Well, it's kind of like as you're coming up to a stoplight. I couldn't really see the light, but I could see traffic moving in front of me. So, obviously, there's cars moving east to west and I'm heading northbound. So, I learned all these tricks. I just learned the whole bunch of tricks as to how to do it, how to make it work. Could you like see like the where the crosswalk was or where to stop kind of? When I don't remember back then, but by the time I quit driving, I just got tired of lying in 2012. And I was driving big one-ton trucks, hauling cattle, horses, equipment. Like, I wasn't just cruising around in a car. Wow. By the time I quit driving with a cheater device that I could wear that would help me a little bit, it's called a monocular device. It's a pair of glasses with like a little telescope on the top that you look through with your right eye, meaning a telescope turn. Right. So, you can see a tiny field of view. Four tiny field of view and only four times magnification. So, with my vision at that time, 20 times worse than the average person. It was putting to me to 16 times worse than the average person. And I could only see the color of a traffic light one pickup truck away from the crosswalk. Okay. As long as I was stocked, I mean, moving as a whole different world, you know, there's I ran a lot of red lights and no accidents. I never had any accidents after my 20s. So, I guess we could talk about, do you want to talk about your work a little bit too? Should we start going back further? Like, why did this happen to you? And it's obviously, it's not correctable. It's not correctable. The disease is a genetic disease. The way that I describe it, people as you have your eyeball and most diseases that you hear about in the world of vision loss have to do with the eyeball. Okay. My disease has nothing to do with the eyeball has to do with the optic nerves coming off the frontal lobe of the brain and where it touches. And the tips of those optic nerves are just slowly atrophying, slowly dying. Ironically enough, and like- Kind of a chronic wasting disease or something like that. Very much. And ironically enough, in the last 10 years for some reason, it has stopped. We don't really know why. One of the blessings in my life is there's nothing wrong with my eyeballs. So, most likely, if the optic nerve was healthy, I probably wouldn't even need glasses. So, I don't deal with color blindness or peripheral loss or blurriness or any of those things that some other people put up close enough you've got pretty good vision. To me, well, to me, the vision's pretty good anyway. In my world, it seems normal because I don't live in the world of a sighted person. So, in my world, everything seems normal. But when I'm working with somebody or somebody waves from me across the room and I can't see them, I have no idea. And they've got to say, hey, Pat, I know I'm not the same, but I feel the same. So, one of the gifts that I give our podcast guests here is this hot sauce that the Matador Mexican Grill manufactures for us. It goes crazy ginger hot sauce. Can I hand this to you? And you can look at it. So, here at this instance, I know I'm holding a bottle. I know there's some sort of light colored label and there's a dark colored top on it. Okay. So, I know and I call people visual cues, meaning my brain is filling in the blank spots. Right. I've already told you it's hot sauce and you told me the shape of it and stuff. The bottle looks like a divasco sauce, you know, it's just kind of a generic name. Now, absolutely. Now, I know I cannot read the top. There's no way. At this close, I know there's lettering there. I know there's lettering at the top. I think there might be a picture of a woman on the front. That's true. Yeah. Okay. And that's a visual cue because of a hand that I think is right here on the face. That is true. If that hand wasn't there, I don't have the visual cue. And I think she might have red hair. That is true. Because it's called crazy ginger hot sauce. Oh, ginger isn't red hair. Right. It's the red-headed girl that looks innocent, but she's going to burn you probably. Yeah. So, very interesting. But again, my brain is like trying to figure it out. I don't just look at it and know. You've got some cues that that's a woman shape. Yeah. It's a visual cue, you know, that my brain is trying to fill in the blanks and processing to try to figure out what's going on. Yeah. And how old were you when your parents or you all came to realize that your site was not good? The disease came from my father. They didn't really think that I had it. And at about the sixth grade was when there was some radical changes, I grew up racing sailboats on the Columbia River in Oregon. Okay. And I used to be able to just, you know, my parents had had eagle eyes. You know, I could see a train and pick something off the train or, you know, whatever it is. The seabird out there, longways or whatever. Yeah, no problem. But in the sixth grade, it started to change. Like, I was pretty shy and sitting in the back of the room, I could no longer see the chalkboard. You said you heard it from your father. Did he also suffer from it? Or he was recessive? No, he had it in my mother. That's why she was experienced at the line for the driver's license because she did it for him. Let's call it. It was a family secret. Yes. That sounds nicer. Kind of made sense, you know, because you go back generational. That was not nearly as much accommodation. You don't want to just live in a home for blind people or something. Yeah, makes draw baskets or rooms was one of the big ones that they did. Right. So it was a family secret because they wanted to drive because how were you going to exist without driving? Yeah. So it was just the norm. If Uber was around, it probably would have been easier to decide what. Yeah. And if we grew up in the country, so that made it even more difficult, you know, what was I going to do if I couldn't drive? And what would he have done if he couldn't drive? Yeah, yeah. So we just kept it a secret. And what was his vocation or vocations? My father, as a young kid, you know, sixth, seventh, eighth grade somewhere around there, my father was in the real estate business in Oregon. And then the sixth, seventh, eighth grade. As I was in the sixth, seventh, eighth grade. So whatever age to whatever age is. That's an early entrepreneur. Yeah. As he's a 30 something. Yeah, he's a 30 something. He was in the real estate business. And as I got in, you know, I'm around 15, 16 years old, he became a general contractor and was buying land and building subdivisions. Yeah. The economy crashed big time in 82, 83. And they essentially sold everything and decided to move to Tucson from Oregon for whatever reason. And opened up a car rental business in Tucson, Arizona. And with you and other siblings or just you? I came in later and helped them. The other siblings moved along with them, but never got involved in the car rental business. Okay. I came along later with them and got involved in the car rental business. And then you're how old at this point? You're 63. No, but when you moved Arizona from Oregon. 21 probably. Oh, okay. So the kids were mostly all kind of grown. We were all grown. My little sister was still in school. I think at that time she might have been a junior. Yeah. You know, had a couple of years left. So she was still in school. I don't even recall what my other sister. Oh, she didn't move with, moved down there. She stayed in Oregon, was living in Oregon. So in Oregon, were you involved with the construction business as well and pounded nails and climbing things? Absolutely. My introduction was to the construction business was at 15 years old, my father took me to a house that he was one of the houses that he was building with a set of nail bags, a hammer, a box of nail, as there was a bunch of underlayment chipboard, you know, fire, I think it was called chipboard, back then essentially sawdust, put together with sawdust. And that's what we used as a subfloor. Yeah. And he dropped me off and said, It's all patchy looking kind of whatever. Yes, he dropped me off and he said, hey, I want you to put the subfloor down. No instruction, nothing just expected me to do it. And that was beginning into the construction. I've done, yeah, I started framing houses only a year or so after that when I started driving. I worked on framing houses and I have just a tremendous amount of experience in the construction trades and building and remodeling all that stuff that I'll came. Well, it's naturally growing up on a farm. You just kind of have to learn to fix everything. Yeah, yeah, I mean, there's nobody's going to fix it for you. It's funny, like North Dakota is where my family farm is. And we've had a few years over the last 15 or whatever that have been like super wet with like combines getting stuck out in the fields and stuff like that. And just and they're big and heavy. And there's no like pull my combine out for me service. Like you got to figure it out or you got to round up two more neighbors and everybody bring your biggest longest cables. And it's going to be a party pulling this freaking combine that's buried up the axles out of the mud. Yeah, absolutely. I've dealt with all of those kind of things. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, there's just nobody going to do it for you. Nobody's going to help you. The neighbors will come over and help you and the neighbors will be like, you idiot, why did you do that? It's like true. You know, because no matter what, you know, they're going to give you a hard time about it. But ultimately, out in the country, my experience is they're really going to be there to help you and do whatever it takes you to. Yeah, there's no like, you know, combine toers ink out there or anybody that there's not enough of that, actually supported enterprise. And if there was, the farmer is not going to want to pay the bill or can afford it. That's true, too. No way in the world, you know, a farmer is going to pay somebody when they're like, I can do anything and fix anything. So how the car rental business go? And I guess this is probably pretty growing years and Tucson. Yeah, growing years and Tucson. I had a bit of a drinking problem. My parents ended up firing me from the car rental business. I ended up in a treatment center for my drinking problem on July 5th of 1989. Okay. A series of things happened in my life and I had been lying that whole time to get my driver's license after leaving the treatment center. I decided at that point to quit line and this happened for a brief period of time. I tell people when I was 32, I relapsed on driving. So for a period of time, I quit, I did give up my driver's license and quit driving. I was about six months sober. My parents the day after Christmas left to go to San Carlos, Mexico to go on a scuba diving trip. When I had been in that treatment center, my father said he wanted to learn how to scuba dive and they left the 26th of December 1989 to go on that trip. When they left their liquor cabinet unlocked? Well, it wasn't drinking so. Oh, that wasn't okay. Yeah, I wasn't drinking. Oh, you started driving. That was your driving relapse. Not drinking relapse. The driving relapse actually happened a little bit later in life. So what happened is my parents take off to San Carlos, Mexico. I come home on the evening of January 2nd 1990 to my parents house. They were allowing me to live there because I was working on my sobriety and the phone was ringing. I walked into my parents house. I answered the phone an old-fashioned landline, you know, a yellow AT&T phone with the, you know, we were high class. We had the push buttons. We even had the cordless phone that you pulled the AT&T phone. Yeah, yeah. One of those. The phone is ringing and I pick up the phone and a man on the other end of the line asked for Mr. Maloy. I said, he's not here. This is a son. How can I help you? His exact words were my name is Eric Healy. I'm with the Arizona Daily Star and I'm sorry to tell you, but both of your parents are presumed dead. Their bodies lost at sea along with 12 other people. Oh, do. What had happened that, and I found this out from a survivor by the name of Ophro Watson, is that at two o'clock in the morning on January 1st, a 74-foot taller that had been converted into a scuba diving vessel was they were coming home. They were supposed to be in the port at six o'clock a.m. January 1st, 1990. A rogue wave and high heavy seas hit the ship behind Tortuga Island in the Gulf of California and sunk the ship in three waves. In three waves, the 74-foot taller completely gone. That's crazy. I've been to Tortuga Island and it seems like a calm sea kind of, but I guess this would be the west side of Tortuga Island. So gone. Now I know the rest of this because of Ophro Watson. Ophro Watson was tossed into the water. He knew the ship was going down so to not get sucked down he started swimming. When he went in he had been sleeping on the top deck of the ship and his gear bag went in with him. So he was able to grab his gear bag that had his wetsuit because the water was 65 degrees. He swam. The ship disappeared. It's pitch black. It's two o'clock in the morning. He hears voices. He swims towards the voices. As he's doing that, he decides he better get his wetsuit on or hypothermia is going to set in. He puts his wetsuit on somehow in the water and he was in his sixties at this time. He then collects some debris. Less debris. Less debris than probably half the size of this room. There was a door. There was a broken piece of wood and there was a gas tank. He used that debris and he went and he towards the voices. One of the voices I would learn later from him was my mom and one of the voices was another couple that I don't remember their name. He said we were all hopeful until the sun came up and he said can you imagine there's four of us floating in the Gulf of California. No land to be seen anywhere and the light has come up and you realize you're in a dire situation. He said the talking the talking stopped of the hope and we're just floating. He believes that my mother died most likely of hypothermia at about ten o'clock in the morning of January 1st and she was in a night down and laying on a partially on a door and he said it was about noon that a wave hit that door and he said she literally just sunken disappeared into the ocean. The wife of the other gentleman about two o'clock in the afternoon she floated off was dead and he said it wasn't far after that that the husband the man that was left swore he saw land started swimming towards land and he said he disappeared and obviously drowned. Then Ofer Watson was picked up 36 hours later by a fishing trawler who Hispanics didn't speak any English and his wetsuit was red had red in black on it and they saw the red and they thought they were they didn't even know a ship had sunk. Right. So they thought they were going to get some fortune you know something expensive floating in the water and they roll up and they're pulling a 60 something year old man out of the water and they have no he can't speak Spanish they can't speak English he has no idea he was taken back to San Carlos treated for hypothermia and left the next day hopped in his car and went home. Well and where does that leave you? Well what happened then through a series of circumstances my parents so I received the information on January 2nd 1990 which was a Tuesday. On January 5th 1990 was the reading of a will as we're trying to figure out what we're going to do because what we have now is a car rental business with 60 some odd cars seven employees a lot of bills we have a home yeah but we have two bodies a recovering alcoholic a recovering alcoholic a recovering alcoholic who's 26 years old is no longer drives is considered legally blind has no college education yeah two brothers that are not in state yeah two sisters two sisters sorry that and and a former drug dealer so like I wasn't a good guy so they read the will and they tried to figure out what we're going to do and through a series of circumstances that is an incredibly long story they decided okay we're going to give Pat a chance I have no idea why. On Monday morning I show up to my parents car rental business with as I said no experience in anything sat down at my dad's desk and started trying to figure it out I had not much money and I had a list of things that I had to accomplish in order to get the so there wasn't really any life insurance or anything like that to speak of no ironically enough I would learn a few leaks later from a man by the name of Paul March that was my parents insurance agent that my father has was opening up a life insurance policy for one million dollars and he said I'll sign it when I get back oh yeah he didn't ever sign it I ultimately only ended up inheriting about a hundred thousand dollars and used that hundred thousand dollars to purchase out my sisters portions of the car rental business okay and took off in the car rental business for reasons which I don't understand especially in today's world for me I became over successful successful I was a natural and this is mid 90s 1990 oh early 90s yeah literally you know I started in the car rental business on January 7th 1990 okay and I became very successful at it and had to do a lot of learning there was no Google there was no I couldn't see books do you have a mentor or anything like that heck no I couldn't trust anybody everybody wanted money from me everybody thought oh we're gonna get money from this guy right I just figured it out step by step of what to do made some mistakes but always paying the bills I didn't even have credit I had to go out in order to get a credit card and give a five hundred dollar deposit in order to get a credit card with five hundred dollars right that's the only way I could do it I worked really hard I had a new focus I had a new focus I've I've never drank I never realized that was your done I've been sober 36 plus years now I think 37 years this year well you'd probably never built that business yeah if you were drinking I would have if I was still drinking I they wouldn't I wouldn't they wouldn't be my opportunity they wouldn't have known where I was at right I would learn later because as I say I became very successful very good at and other franchisees started you know via the phone there was nobody around helping me answering questions I would learn later because this was a franchise yes you save auto rental okay I would learn later because I was I started receiving a lot of awards okay like franchisey of the year and franchisey of the ward you know franchisey moth grossy moth sales all these awards started coming in for at that time the city of Tucson was a population of 700 thousand oh well so I was for a population in that category of under 700 thousand by the time I was 29 years old I had received every award the franchise had to offer for a franchisey for a population of seven over seven hundred thousand dollars I was invited to be the country you publicly still vision impaired yes or did you okay yes and I'll show I can explain that in a second so I'm 29 years old I'm invited to be a keynote speaker at a car rental convention in Las Vegas Nevada and the president of the franchise I'm setting at his table and the president of the franchise is getting ready to introduce me I remember his assistant sitting there and assistant said to me Pat I'm going to make you laugh during your speech and I said first of all I won't be able to see you in second of all I guarantee you I'm going to make you cry when the president went up to the lectern and introduced me he said I'm going to say something honest here that I've never said what he said was when we received the information that Pat Maloy's parents were killed in their bodies lost at sea we had a decision to make he said the decision was do we pull the franchisey the franchise agreement from this young or what do we do he said I as the president and all the board members decide we're going to let Pat fail on his own that way we're not the bad guy he said I'm here three years later inviting him up to be our keynote speaker because he didn't fail he's one of our top franchise or franchisees in the country I was already by that was shortly after that was teaching classes on how to get financing teaching classes on our seminars on how to retain employees yeah and just became super successful you know I'm getting more terrier than you but if you want one of these you can yeah I've told this story and I'm telling you pieces of this just a little bit of it yeah I'm telling you piece of your situation and how so much of your future was hinged on that decision of that group of people right totally and and many other people I an example is on Friday the 5th of January five days after they're killed when I'm sitting in first interstate bank at I mean I remember everything perfectly at speedway in swan my uncle is called in and my uncle says he's supposed to be the executor of the will they read that and he's like there's no way I'm going to be an executor of this will and he got up and walked out of the room so I am now stuck what do I do I remember sitting at a gigantic conference table and the lady that ran the banker name was Arlene Colzer Arlene is sitting I've told the story a few times yeah Arlene was sitting there and they're getting ready I mean all the counts have been frozen there's nobody to sign everything is frozen right you weren't a sign or anything nothing nothing and what we learned quickly is because my parents were lost in international waters you couldn't get death certificates it was a very big deal to get proof of death they literally insurance companies literally acted like my parents had failed to find the bodies yeah and bring them to us we're not going to pay you yeah we're talking 14 people here all right so my Arlene Colzer you know that there's two things that insurance companies hate what are those two accepting risk being claims yeah that's very good and I can tell you that it's a very through statement so Arlene she wants to give me a chance and this is back in the days of when bankers you had a personal relationship and she had a personal relationship with my parents and she knew about my past and knew I was only six months sober in fact my parents were killed on January 1st 1990 and on January 4th 1990 in a 12-step program I received my six-month sobriety jail well and as I say have stayed sober ever since so that Friday Arlene comes into the room and she says Pat I told the bankers I wanted to give you a chance and I cannot believe she did this she said to them I told them if you failed within the next seven days the list of things which she gave gave them that they could pull the money out of my retirement account and I would take responsibility she vouched for you she vouched for me I remember sitting across from this massive conference table probably six feet wide and I wanted to say no and I said yes thank you and I remember literally my brain going who said that like what yeah the first thing that they had to do was they had to I had to get an executor for this estate and mind you we're talking a nightmare kid with no experience a kid with a drinking problem no death certificate because we're talking a nightmare and very public because we're in the newspaper stories being done about right well and for whatever reason you know through his career your dad had become successful enough to have your mama in a Mercedes when she was sneaking you guys through driving to us well we I grew my dad was very sex-sexful and it's a whole nother store but we had a big car we had a big car collection they sold the car collection that's how they ended up financing oh well and opening up the car rental business and Tucson so I'm to get a executor there was an attorney there my uncle at it brought in an attorney there was an attorney I remember walking out of the meeting and the attorney says to me he goes pat we need to find you an executor for this estate and he said what makes the most sense is first interstates trust department we go down to Tucson downtown Tucson and we meet a man who's the head of the trust department by the name of Tom Richey Tom looks at this whole scenario and he's like there is no way in the world there is so much risk for the bank in this situation that I don't want to touch it with a 10-foot pole then you don't want touch with a hundred-foot pole you want nothing to do with me I remember getting into the elevator ironically I have no idea who the attorney was you know I'd pay that guy a lot of money sure and we get in the elevator and he's like pat we have a big problem here I'm like okay I don't know what to do that's a Friday on Monday morning so now the seventh of January I met my parents Mike soon to be business and the phone rings and the manager says pat there's a call for you I said who is it they said it's a man by the name of Tom Richey that works for first interstate bank I get on the phone I said Tom what can I do for you and I learned very quickly I was going to have to be cocky I could not be insecure I could not come across without confidence it's too big for you then they would think so yeah I had to come across cocky and arrogant I mean that was instant to me in that meeting otherwise they're gonna be like this guy can't do it he's weak he's insecure so I got on the phone with Tom and Tom says Pat I've changed my mind and I'm personally going to be the executor of your state he's like why did you come down and meet with us okay I haven't got the phone and I'm thinking what is going on I call my attorney my attorney asked me the same thing I'm like man I don't know but I'm not driving because I'm visually impaired I've given up my driver's license and quit lying you know trying to clean up my life and so Mr. Charlie you're picking me up he comes and gets me of course I'm paying him 100 and whatever how to do this now he's probably happy we go down we walk into Tom's office and Tom says I'd like to talk with Pat for a moment my attorney's like I don't think so I looked at Tom and he said don't worry I'm going I'm not gonna sign anything when my attorney walked out of the office I literally stood up out of the chair leaned over the desk and said Tom what the blank is going on he said bat you better have a seat when he went home on Friday he was talking about I met Pat Malloy this guy that they're talking about on the news whose parents died he's talking about the newspaper article that he met me to his wife his wife is like that sounds like a name I know his wife left the room comes back 20 minutes later says to her husband I want you to be the executive of the state her husband Tom says that ain't happening you ain't my boss and he's telling you this story sitting there I'm like get get on what who cares his wife that name sounded familiar went and called her mom tells her mom the story and her mom says I know who this is back up a second I forgot this when Tom Richie called me on that morning he asked who my grandma was I'm like my grandma on which side of the family he goes I think your mom or your dad's side of the family said her name is Blanche that's when he then agreed the minute I said the name Blanche that's when he agreed okay to take this on because his wife made him so he well not yet so he goes he had gone when his and get let's go back to it's Friday he's talking to his wife when his wife left the room his wife went and called her mother does the name sounded familiar I would learn that Monday morning that my grandma Blanche Maloy who at the time had lived in Omaha Nebraska helped feed a family because a husband had died that family was Tom Richie's wife's mother and he said to me my wife told me I am to pay this family debt back so I am going to be personally the executor of your state had that connection not occurred call it whatever you want that's like a 40 years later kind of payback 40 years later had that connection not occurred I wouldn't have gotten the help that I got and Tom Richie stepped up step by step holding my hand and he figured it out through the hole and he figured out you know when we sat there and talk you know and I'm like my grandma now lives here in town her mother was alive but still living in Omaha Nebraska and my grandma still lived in town I don't remember if I connected them because there's you know obviously a very hard part of my life you know I so focused on business and everything sure but because of that connection in Omaha Nebraska 40 years early and my grandma Blanche feeding his wife's mother's family that family I was able to move forward Tom Richie took me on he helped me with the finances there was a whole bunch of restrictions like you can't imagine yeah triple signing checks every time I'd bills to pay I had to get a driver from my business to take me down to see him you know there's no e-mail no computers everything's the old-fashioned way yeah you help me get the business going kept growing sounds like and succeeded yeah it became very successful how many how many how would how did you do your team I stayed at seven and seven employees I ended up running running about 80 vehicles okay so I wouldn't say a huge business in my opinion yeah I ended up running 80 vehicles I learned how to specialize in things because it was very competitive and I specialized in things that my parents had been doing one of the things that they did was we rented cars down into Mexico which took special insurance they were able to take one of our cars which was a whole nightmare to get that car out of San Carlos Mexico yeah yeah you know that's parked in the parking lot it's my car right right business car so I ended up specializing in renting pickup trucks big 15 passenger vans yeah and renting vehicles into Mexico and then I ended up specializing and renting to people that didn't have credit cards learned how to do really good background checks without a computer picking up references and did the process I'm gonna call for a short break because I've been like crying a little bit and stuff and want to just look less uh look a baby it's an emotional story dude I mean and we're gonna sample the uh the crazy junior hot sauce yeah yeah the beautiful redhead I assume she's beautiful it's on the bottle perfect all right we'll be right back thank you this episode is sponsored by Loco Think Tank Loco Think Tank provides pure collaboration for business owners we build smart safe places to help business leaders navigate every stage with a business journey and we love what we do and who we do it with our model features gift back minded business veterans and the role of Loco facilitators and we're always looking for abundance minded individuals to add to our membership facilitator team local community or to feature on this podcast listeners of this podcast who go on to become members of Loco Think Tank get their sixth month of membership for free just mention the Loco Experience podcast on your application to learn more visit our website at locothinktank.com that's l-o-c-o thinktank.com and we're back thank you for that short break so this is where we get your authentic reaction to the crazy ginger hot sauce okay great are you scared or not really you know it's making me think of isn't there a show called hot ones or something like that yeah yeah yeah it's a little bit inspired I I've all I've been giving hot sauce to my guests for a couple of years right the last one was like a three out of five peppers right you know maybe a six or five right by scale and I just didn't feel like it deserved the name you know the to be part of the local experience right right to be a little bit crazy if you're going to be okay now I'm really nervous as to what that experience I'll see you have choice I poured both of those so you could have either one I think they're pretty equal oh yeah um this one right here yeah but try to keep it level so that it doesn't spill there you go that one yeah I forget sorry yeah I can't see that well it's easier to forget if if I would look more blind but I don't know how do you pull off not be a little blind okay cheers a shallow cheers that's not terrible at all no that is awesome it has a little bit of a it's interesting it's building a little bit of heat as it sits on my tongue yeah but the first bite isn't like bro it's not intended to bring your face no it has a really good flavor to it I like that it has a great flavor awesome it's not terrible hot and it's not yeah that's good I'm gonna love enjoying that thank you for the gift I'm gonna really enjoy well if you run out then you can pick it up at Matador Mexican Grill they have this available for sale and where is Matador Mexican Grill it's on Harmony Road which is a very long walk but I assume you get down to the south side once well it's right by the kind of by the movie theater or the cold stone ice cream shop is down there at Timberline and Harmony okay if you say so but yeah I can't see that stuff but I'll put it I have a friend I'm involved in a toast master's club and we go out to dinner even once a month yeah I haven't picked you by there I'll tell him hey let's go but hopefully that'll last you for at least a couple weeks yeah yeah it's really good and like I say it sticks with you you know which I kind of like I'm gonna sprinkle it on the rest of these chips okay not as much I gave you kind of a pool in the first one right so know that any of those chips have just a dab of dew okay and we can nibble on them okay perfect I'll reach across and grab one okay okay so is there another one with sauce on it oh yes this one right here actually has just a drop on it yep yeah that's really good I'm gonna enjoy that thank you you're welcome but that's the goal is like even for not really hot sauce people they're like but it's pretty good hey it's kind of weird though crunching chips I feel like I'm being rude crunching chips on a microphone you know this is what the local experience we do our own thing yeah what just like your family yeah we're like we're gonna have a multi-generational family secret right that puts other people's lives in danger right that's good that's good I like that yeah I like that so when we jumped actually before we come back into the life story right I'm gonna give a kudo to one of our podcast sponsors is purpose-driven wealth management awesome and this is Clint Jasperson and and they're thriving financial in general is kind of all about perfect purpose and finding clarity so that you can be generous you've been a volunteer a lot over the course of your career and so I know that you've got that generosity instinct woven in yeah early on when my parents after they were killed and I was making very good money I was quite the philanthropist because I knew when I still you know I'll do anything to help people out because I really know what it's life to struggle in life yeah and give people a hand I say people this I'll give you a hand up but I don't want to just give you a handout and you're gonna keep taking well and that's the Matthew's house at its core as well so we'll circle back around to your current employment awesome but let me ask you one of the purpose-driven questions okay perfect from purpose-driven wealth thank you to purpose-driven wealth of thriving for sponsoring our purpose-driven questions segment at purpose-driven wealth they believe financial clarity leads to a life of contentment and purpose their mission is to help guide clients using a values driven stewardship based approach focused on provision contentment and enjoyment with more than a century of experience thriving helps individuals and families navigate life and business transitions and prepare for the future while creating space to live generously and give back meaningful ways to learn more about purpose-driven wealth please call 970-330-7411 for a complimentary initial consultation and now onto the questions um this is I've used this one recently already but I think it's just such an interesting thing when someone gives your eulogy one day yes um do you have any idea and maybe it's more than one person but but who would you like to speak for you in that circumstance and what do you hope they would say can I tell you a little story about eulogy yeah so in September before my parents were killed my parents went to a marital retreat in that marital retreat they had to write their own eulogies my parents are killed then in January I'm living at their house and your sisters like I know where their eulogies are at because they had come home and read them to me wow so when I did the memorial service for my parents the eulogies that I read for both of them were written by them only a few months earlier wow in a marital counseling seminar weekend that they went to in that wild that is so wild there's so many wild stories yeah well that's um once you start seeing those kind of patterns in life it's easier to see them yeah it's just funny so let me answer it for me I have a young man in my life that's also visually impaired I've known him a long time Josh and he knows a lot about me and I've helped him through a lot of struggles in his life and really looks at my think as a mentor you know in a very very dear friend I just spent some time with him and his girlfriend over the weekend and he would be the one because he has a true understanding dealing with vision loss and dealing with the struggles that occur in our lives and how we come over him and the can-do attitude yeah he would be the man that I would pick for me to do a eulogy because he would be able to come at it from a true sense of what I've overcome as a person who's visually impaired and what I've overcome in life in order to make it to where I'm at I'll take them would you like them or chip yeah let's do another yeah this is the biggest saucy one if you want extra sauce perfect yeah extra sauce I like that you're enthusiastic about that yeah perfect and I'm happy to help if you're like 10 minutes from you're like hey I want another sauce and I actually want some more fresh I want I don't want it all soaked in I want some fresh sauce on it you just I don't think I don't think I've ever eaten on a microphone dude it's a first for me this will be a it might be a first for a lot of people listening to they're like man what a bunch of rookies they're at the low co-extriest podcast why the world would they have a hot sauce with crunchy chips yeah you know we're not supposed to eat worth our mouth closed but I'm eating with my mouth open and talking at the same time it's all a very weird experience but I like it it's you know it's fun it's different well no it's not AI yeah that's true it's not AI it's real would you like another purpose driven question sure it's you let's talk about aligning business with values and and in particular kind of becoming the leader and and like were you continuing what your parents had started when you came back in or did you put kind of your own values into the organization and and how did that live out I guess or was it both I think a little bit of both I think my parents were really involved with their employees cared about them family almost kind of like a family thing you know I remember my mom helping some one of the young ladies that worked for with a dental issue that she couldn't afford I continued that one of the interesting things for me is that comes to mind as you ask this question is I mean mind you when I had worked for my parents before they fired me because of drinking you know among many things I would wash cars for them sure so I'm a guy that goes from washing cars to owning a business and employing people to wash my cars but my attitude as an employer was if I'm asking somebody to do something I need to also know how to do it myself and be willing to help many a times we're backed up car rental businesses busy reservations are coming in and my driver I remember one time clearly my driver was pulling me into the back of the lot and we're just backed up and the young lady that worked for me is just slammed yeah she's about ready she's losing her head and I said to my driver stop I got out of the car grabbed a hose grabbed a wash mitt and her and I started tag teaming cars and washing cars and vacuuming cars out and that was the mentality that I had she wanted to work for you a lot more after that moment then that she didn't already appreciate you probably but that's the kind of thing that builds loyalty absolutely you want to refer your friends to come work yes I had when I had my business meetings and I could tell you many of stories on this but when I had my business meetings you know team meetings let's call it that with my staff so during a team meeting I'm talking about the problems that we're having I'm talking to them about the issues I have with them but at the end of the meeting I has the thing called this thing I called the chopping block and what the chopping block was is that I was going to lay my head on the chopping block my staff was a loud to say whatever they wanted to me they were angry they were pissed off they thought I had done some done them wrong they wanted an idea that they thought I was doing wrong I clarified it with my staff and said first of all there will be no retaliation from me I am not going to take this out on you second of all I said to them you may give me an idea I may expand on it and use it and I may ignore it so on the other hand you give me your idea you can't be upset that I don't take it I would share this information with them I would sit back total quiet and say it's your turn they would go around of the room especially new employees it was hard with they would go around the room share some really tough things with me sometimes I would finish by saying thank you let's all get back to work and there was times that and then you try to make it better yeah and then I would work on trying to get it better because I think you know we all if you don't know you don't know so that's cool I think as a boss you know I have to learn to take I'm going to use the word constructive criticism sometimes it seemed to mean yeah but as a boss I have to learn to take constructive criticism because I tell people when you're hiring people we all have a tendency to want to hire people that are like ourselves sure I need to hire people that fill in my weaknesses and oftentimes I don't get along with those people very well like I don't understand why they do what they do that's so I could I share a small story I'd love to so we've got an event coming up next week and our deadline to put our food order in with ginger and baker is end of business today literally like 10 minutes go probably right right and and uh but we had kind of a handful of late orders kind of thing and stuff and we've got a couple people that just shared it with their friends that might want to sign up and stuff right and so it's like well we need to change it so we can still sell tickets to end the day Friday right um and Lauren is my chief of staff and Lauren was kind of annoyed uh because she's like well Kate's going to be annoyed because she told me very clearly that end of day Wednesday is when we have to to do the thing at least you got to give Lauren a heads up right well no because I don't want to make her already this is an ask forgiveness not or a big forgiveness not an ask permission kind of thing I love that world and um but for Lauren she's very much of do the thing that the person that's in charge kind of said to do and it honors that it don't um and I was like but do we want like do both ginger and baker and local think tank want seven more people to sign up between now and Friday yes because they'll sell seven more meals and they've got enough eggs to make seven more breakfast burritos right whatever they've got enough lunches to do seven more of those right you know sure they want to plan for it exactly and stuff but it's a big operation right and they can absorb our seven people seven yeah no problem yeah but I could see it that honestly that it was like Lauren style and and that's why I hired her is to offset against me being fast and loose with everything all the time yeah kind of yeah right not why right but it's one of the things why but and like as you said you don't always get along with the people that you need most on your team yeah I can I want to respect them but a lot of times I'm just like no I don't want you to do that and I have to take responsibility for my actions and go um you know Pat you're being on reasonable and you hired this person because I'm like you it sounds like really fly by the seat of my pants you know I'm like forgiveness rather than permission you know and I'm one of my attorneys he's like you know Pat you always are walking this fine line between legal and illegal or legal and a problem and well not really not immoral necessary no not immoral but a lot of things that are illegal are actually morals sometimes when I say illegal it's like this is an absolutely stupid law I don't agree with this law right that I'm supposed to have this to be ignored yeah and you know what are they gonna do you know maybe they catch me maybe they don't catch me and he's like but Pat I'm like hey dude I'm paying you okay you're here to keep me out of trouble right but he used to joke with me about it because I just like to push the limits because a lot of times there's just some stupid requirements made of a business and made as me of a business owner that make no sense to me at all must give 72 hours notice to such and such thing about such and such yeah you and me aren't going to give us 72 hour notice it sounds like it's like hey um here's my one hour now you just found out yeah we're gonna turn it over to Lauren and say hey Lauren you know can you take there this where I mean right this I'm sure is not the first time you put her in this position no she knows who I am I know who she is and that's part of that conversation right and I hope that if she listens to this which I hope she doesn't because we're we're an hour and something already yeah hopefully not in the clock at least yeah oh yeah me listening to you on the local experience talking is work time yeah what are you doing I'm sure she would never honestly she's one of the most high integrity people I've come to know that's awesome Lauren if you're listening to this I appreciate you that's not a story of me not appreciating and I think that integrity comes from the people that working with when you work with an employer a boss whatever or have someone that you don't appreciate you don't respect how can I expect as an employer to get it back if I'm not giving it yeah it's not gonna happen let's talk about uh next big chapters for you so you're this high fluten villain philanthropist right yeah and you're 29 years old are you single guide during all this seasons oh my god mostly or ladies please don't take this wrong but when you're a young guy in your 20s with a lot of money women see one thing and that was dollar signs yeah and yeah I didn't date or anything it was too difficult I'd lady friends but it was just you were a target yeah I was like I had I mean I don't really want to say it but one of the things I did because I couldn't drive and I had massive anxiety and stress over not driving is even though I had a whole fleet of cars I went out and bought a what's called a Fleetwood formal it was a 1979 Fleetwood formal so imagine a big Fleetwood Cadillac that's been stretched by about three feet it's essentially a small limo right so you know and I got that very early on you know 26 very early on so my life you know revolved around drivers let's use the word chauffeur is but technically they weren't they worked for me in the car rental business and rotated yeah yeah and my life you know anywhere I went was a limousine and one of the things that I did was my morning staff my limo would stay at my house my morning staff would come in leave there no they would go to work no that's not what they did they would drive their personal car and they would punch in when they picked me up at my house I they would then drive me in the limo to work now their shift would get over because I open up longer hours to do this when their shift would get over they would drive one of my rental cars back to my house pick up their personal car oh sure then when my night person took me home they would get in the rental car take it back to the rental office right it drives a personal car and then get in their personal car and that is when their shift ended so yeah it didn't work I mean I was doing a lot of flying because of business stuff going to auctions you know I very early on started trading flight miles for first class I did a lot of traveling when I was young because I could but I did it by myself because nobody could afford they're all having kids are going to school you know nobody but I've been a lot of interesting places done a lot of interesting things as a result of that money do you think that you're like sense of hearing and like listening and maybe even taste and smell and stuff has enhanced for the lack of the vision wow I've never gotten this question before hearing and the remembering it seems like I mean you you blame it on having told the story a bunch of times and stuff but I can also tell that you've got a crisp memory very very much many many things the things that are important they process and log in I've had friends say how do you remember that I'm like how do you don't how do you not right the way that I answer that question because is a blind guy I use the word blind by let me put this the way vision is 20 times worse than the average person I use the word blind because it seems to make the most sense to me sure also because when a person that is cited takes off their glasses they always say I'm blind without my glasses right so why can't I just say I'm blind because they're doing the same thing well and I was just thinking about even these shades you got these blind guys shades right right from the local experience and I hope you don't mind or be bothered if I put these on the semi-dark right you know it's probably a 30 percent reduction in my sightability yeah you know so it's only minus you 15 times or 20 times right right yours are 30 year right yeah minus school right so how the way I answer the question because I've probably been asked this well over a thousand times it's very very common is that a person like me and I'm going to use myself and other visually impaired people my hearing doesn't miraculously get better my taste doesn't miraculously get better my awareness doesn't get better but I start to use those senses in a different way I use voice over technology on my phone meaning I have technology that will read the screen to my phone it is fast like if I play it for you you're not going to know what it says whoa I hear it clear as day sure but you read fast you just don't know you're reading fast I used to I actually listen to more things now because my nearest I can't read things close very good anymore so so but you used to read fast totally all that's happening I say this when I'm in crowds I say to people do not say something you don't want me to hear I can't help it but I'm going to hear what's going on over here I'm going to hear what's going on over here I'm going to hear what's going on behind me yeah yeah I need to be totally aware because you can log six or eight conversations at the same time and know where they're coming from almost yeah it's just weird you don't know what those people look like at all I'm not going to I can't recognize a face it Bill Clinton sitting over there talking about Hillary I'm not going to know you might recognize the voice yeah but yeah I'm not going to know it's like is it an imposter you know somebody that's imitating him or whatever I'm not going to know I can't recognize a person's face past 10 feet and that is if they aren't moving if you're walking towards me and we're both moving you know like this I'm never going to process it you literally I passed you before you recognize me easily and then it might occur when your four or five feet passed me who you are or it might never occur to me and there are certain people with certain I'm going to say there's general body types I don't know how to explain that to me or I'm guessing my beard might be something that you would have had your tall slender guy you're going to stick out more to me but you take you know what I only know how to describe in my visual world an average body type yeah I don't recognize it's just different you know the other thing that's interesting is I begin to notice how people walk and ironically enough many people men were so then women they just generally dressed the same and I recognize those things yeah yeah I recognize mannerisms all sorts of things you know to be aware I'm a guy like I don't a lot of people around here love to wear hoodie and put the hood up all right that's terrible for you I bet I hate that because I need to know what's coming on and going on behind me I say oh you're putting a hoodie up no I don't put the hood up because I need to be able to hear what's going on yeah I tell people I live in old town and if I see flashing lights I take another direction the reason for that is is I know there's something going on but I don't know what it is right I'm literally a guy that can and I don't need somebody asking me like hey what's happening right now yeah I don't know I'm a guy that could walk into a gunfight because if you aren't arguing if the person holding the gun isn't arguing and screaming I'm not going to know they're holding a gun I'm never going to see it until I'm literally in front of it and the guy with the gun is probably going to go yeah the guy's a lunatic I've got a gun in my hand he should be scared I can't be scared of something I don't see so I wanted to ask about you you mentioned that like you might recognize me from eight or ten feet away right but if I was moving and walking towards you I might pass you before you would really most likely you're going to pass me and so my curiosity in that space is is that like you're it almost feels like you're your visual processing not only has it's it's been starved of enough information to get stronger in some ways even I think that my brain I mean again I think my brain functions very differently I think like it never kind of turns off right because I have to process everything that's going on in your brain is filling in all those gaps it's like I passed you your brain is like dude dude dude dude dude beard guy oh slender I think that might have been hurt well here's an example in this time of year is coming is I'll be walking down a sidewalk that I've walked before and off I don't know how far it might be 20 30 feet there's a dark spot I'm like what the hell is that and meaning is it a whole what is it as I get closer what it is is that somebody watered a plant and the water has gone on to the concrete and made it dark but my brain doesn't know I'm processing all I know is that things are different yeah might be a which it might be you know you know an on-house person laying in this sidewalk whatever it might be right that you got to step over I have no I but no matter what my brain is processing what is that because it's different than the visual cues that I deal with in that section of the street on a regular basis the other thing that happens is people think I'm arrogant rude stuck up and the reason is is if you're across the room and you wave to me if you wave like this I'm not gonna see you if it's people that know they're gonna go yeah luckily for me I do the forest go wave a lot perfect so if so people you know I say a friend of mine I've never I don't even know what it's like to get angry for somebody flipping you off or giving you a dirty look I don't know what that is because I can't see it sure but on the other side I don't know if I walk by a beautiful lady that smiles at me I have no idea you've never you've never thought to yourself Lord have mercy they discovered blue jeans oh yeah the blue jeans I can tell but like the look or whatever it doesn't exist I just don't know I'm totally unaware of that so it's I think that they say that on average human communication is about 40% nonverbal I am missing all of that nonverbal communication in a place like this closeness that you and I have not true but in a normal situation you know a gathering a group of party whatever walking down a sidewalk I'm missing all of that you know I have no clue in the world you know if somebody you know I there's a post outside your door here then I'm guessing is like 20 feet away if somebody was standing right there you know and telling me shoes or what I'm not I'm just gonna totally ignore them I have no idea and then they're gonna get upset with me I didn't pay attention to what they told me to do with their hands that was a fun exploration and I want to get us back to the business journey and the driving journey and stuff too so so you're you're rolling I'm rolling you're rolling all the all the girls want you but you're like I got no time for you I'm scared of that crazy gingers or like calling you up but you're like not giving them time I don't want to spend all my money on some woman that's going out with me just because I have money that's why it came down yeah yeah you probably had some element of I don't want to ask this too directly but like you're like how could I believe that you want me except for my money when I've got this kind of sight impediment and stuff or was that my my best story of that is I'm out of get together large get together there's a lot of people my car it comes to pick me up and I remember her name Susan super attractive beautiful young lady she's like hey can I check out your car I'm like yeah I'm just getting ready to leave I open up the door I get in oftentimes one of my drivers love to do it for me but I didn't like that I get in the car she gets in and you know I had this massive custom stereo system she starts hitting on me right outside the tenant window is her fiance okay a perfect example of oh wow you know maybe I could trade in that old model for a newer model turns out you have more money than my boyfriend yeah yeah maybe I could trade you in for a new model so yeah I just it just didn't work yeah I you know and I and people knew you know that I would travel a lot in go places and it's like you know I come back and like yeah I spent Christmas in Cancun and they're like what you know how does a young guy do that yeah yeah and I was you know due to philanthropy and due to who I was in the business yeah if they had those most eligible bachelor kind of events yeah you were they were calling you yeah I would have stayed away I would have been like no thanks when you got a Fleetwood limo sitting in your driveway and you own a nice house and you're traveling yeah yeah and given you know thousands of dollars or all these indicators you know it's super obvious yeah well and that doesn't mean you should be alone all your life either necessarily right it's also interesting criteria so anyway to get back to the business journey because I remember you saying something about you okay so broke you're you're broke you're driving yeah so what happened is I'm doing really well in life you know I mean I'm 29 when I use all you know receive all these awards I'm doing really well in life and I'm but I'm not happy the reason I'm not happy is that I didn't necessarily want to be in the car rental business and the amount of stress that I dealt with was phenomenal you're sending cars and bands down in Mexico all the time well you know imagine like early on I can remember coming home keeping my crap together coming home from work no more than walking down or you know opening up the door walking into my home and collapsing in grieving tears because my parents you know they're dead and I receive through a phone call that they're dead oh well so you never really got any help processing that I did but you know when you're just slammed into a business like I was there's just no way to process it it's yeah it's just overwhelmed you know it's almost like okay this happened but I got to get this done yep you know in 12-step programs they tell you do not make any sudden changes in the first year of your life right in six months in my first six months of my life I go from being broke not owning a house to owning a business to having employees to a year later owning a house to like everything about my life changed and under a year so just tremendous amount of stress so the stress was getting to me I was having anxiety attacks essentially and I'm you know now I'm like 30 31 years old and I'm sitting on a board of directors for a nonprofit that works for the blind in Tucson I meet this guy this optimologist that he's like you know Pat I might be able to help you out I'm like what tell me more he's like you know I don't know that your eyesight is that bad and you know in Arizona we can do this thing called a medical driver's license and I think I can help you I'm like what here's another guy though because of my position and who I am and my affluence you know sure he wanted to be your friend we go in and I remember looking at the eye test and he uh I say it's a E pointed what direction he goes are you sure I'm like okay how about a C yeah you're right that's exactly what it is we go to the next letter I think that's a S and I'm making this up because I don't remember sure he's like are you sure sometimes I put numbers up there oh yeah it's a five he gives me a medical driver's license and now my life has changed and at 32 years old I decided to sell the business bought a brand new car sold the business and started driving wow and illegally again sure and ended up moving well illegally or well I mean it was legal I mean yeah the doctor said it was cool you know it's a gray area right again you know that little fine line that he was the illegal actor more well you were well was he illegal though you know I mean maybe I could see better than I thought you know and he was just coaching me you know and saying patty you really sure you know it's a kind of a gray area you know it's a tow pardon the pun but a gray area so I sold that business I've owned multiple since then but I sold that business and was able to get my life back what I called my life back can't create that separation from the legacy of mom and dad stuff to right but took the money you know when is able to do other things you know I've done a lot of different stuff and then say and tell I said you know I moved to Colorado you know had a big property up in the mountains of lions you know driving bid trucks all and cattle horses you know whole different life country life cowboy kind of lifestyle and in September 12 I knew that the I was getting to the point that I had to quit I used to be married and I moved to eat in Colorado to a farm and the change of everything was overwhelming me nothing was familiar to me right right I was struggling running when you driving those same roads you always used to drive it was fun everything was memorized now something could happen I realized sure I'm like okay so I go to an eye doctor in eaten Colorado and I sit down and she she's like why nobody ever give you she then I'll tell you what happens she's she's like okay read the eye chart for me lying whatever and I'm like you know that machine they put in front of you today yeah click click click click click I'm like well put it on the wall she's like padded on the wall I literally go like this I move the machine away I get up and I walk halfway across the room I almost collapse because halfway across the room at the top of the eye chart is this gigantic E oh damn which is vision of 2400 which is what the normal piercings and 400 feet I'm seeing in 20 feet and you can't read it halfway across the room I can't do that read it I'm fine I'm halfway across the room come on I'm reading it I sit back down and she's like you're driving I'm like yeah my one-ton truck sitting right out there in the parking lot she couldn't believe it is this a young girl or somebody's been doing it for 20 years probably somebody in their 40s yeah I'm guessing so you it's not her first rodeo but she's like oh my god I can she's shocked she's shocked you know she's like I mean I'm sure she's like I'm sure she said to me I've never met anybody like you that's doing this because I mean reminded you I'm seeing the dang crosswalk one pickup truck length away from the sure yeah from you know the light one pickup length away from the crosswalk so I said to myself that day you know Pat you've gotten away with a lot you've taken a lot of risk and now a doctor knows and that day I decided to come out of the closet to step up to be honest and to get back to integrity and that day I cut up my driver's license and quit driving for many reasons but you know it's like I guess it was like drinking you know okay I'm gonna quit tomorrow I'm gonna quit next week I'm gonna quit on January 1st the reality is the best time to do anything is today yeah and you do it was dangerous and you know I knew a doctor knew now yeah for sure no dishonesty a doctor knew so I quit driving that day and that was September of 12 never have driven on the roads I'll say I've driven a couple of cars like in the country or whatever never driven since then hardest thing I've ever done in my life still difficult for me to this day because I say to people the vision loss is one thing but what most people don't understand most people your life completely exist because you have a driver's license if you do not have a driver's license you don't go to your job you don't go to the ice cream place you don't take a trip you don't go hiking you don't do any of those things right when you pull that driver's license and it's gone freedom choice independence all gone well and yes and for a lot of people in in Fort Collins a particular a bicycle or a electric bicycle can fill that patch but not for you I can't do that I tried the bicycle thing and I can do it but you know I'm like okay I think the lights like walking speed seems like a little bit insecure for me like the bicycle speed seems terrifying yeah you know like one time I'm rolling down Mason when I tried it I'm rolling down Mason by mountain and there's no indicators there's no traffic right so nothing to indicate to me like if a car she know I'm like okay you know I think it's okay and thank you the light was red you know the guess wasn't there then I started going like okay four-way stops I can handle because they have to do a four-way stop or I'm stopping so I tried that then I can cut through alleys you know then I get out on the trails out there past what is it Lee Martinez Park out there I get on the trails out there and you know it's difficult for me to what where's the edge of the trail well the kind of sorrows it's a lot lighter gray darker darker brown instead of like gray yeah you know I'm figuring out as I go but one of the things that would happen is I can't I can't see this was when I was driving this has always been this way if I'm in the sunlight rolling into a shadow I can't see into the shadow so if I'm cruising along like let's say when I drove if I'm cruising along and in the shadow there's a car accident I'm never I'm just full throttle gonna hit it yeah so on the bicycle that's happening you know and there would be a corner in the shadow I'm not seeing it so I just decided you know yeah being visually I'm proud of you being visually impaired like it's a sacrifice like there's there's you know there's doing things that are good for the world with the positive self-interest too I've said around look a thing tank before that we look for the win-win-win-win bubble-settle for the win-win-win right you know when when when the notion of sacrifice comes up limits actually yet but I kind of lose here right but it's for the better of all kind of and it's for the future generations right you know and you know ultimately it's just kind of better it's right and so I guess I just want to honor your sacrifice in that thank you and as you say that it doesn't make me terriide but it makes me emotional because really what I have done is for the good of the people or for honesty and integrity I have made my life very difficult yeah and doing the right thing but it seems like always in life doing the right thing is difficult my I have an old boss from 20 some years ago now that used to say uh and he was actually a terrible person hope he's not listening he probably not yeah too narcissistic um why would he care what I gonna say right right right but uh no good deed goes unpunished that is I would say I 100% have said that a million times yeah and it's and it's I've repeated it a bunch like usually I don't like I repeat a Bill Cosby line as well even though he's also right persona nagrada right but uh his was uh I don't know the secret to success but the secret to failure is to try to please everybody right and uh you know it's taking the high road and being honest unfortunately is very difficult you know I've had many when I quit driving that day essentially everyone in my life criticized me and like Pat why did you do it and I'm like well what am I supposed to do it right tomorrow next week what if something happens right I said I am aware of the problem today I need to solve I went to the eye doctor because I wondered I said I'm aware of the problem today and I need to solve the problem today and there's no solution if I can get a four inch thick set of eyeglasses I would wear them yeah there was some way there's technology out there there's some new technology in the AI world some glasses they're not out yet maybe end of the year that may help me but put it in there almost um three thousand dollars yeah for a set of eyeglasses that and there's a 30 day return policy they're not even on the market yet they're just in a prototype stage but three thousand dollars I think all they would allow me to do is read a computer normally or maybe see a book because I think that the distance in which they will work focusing or whatever is I think either from the UK to me meter and a half I think is what they say so and not moving because the reality of mode cameras is if you're going like this right it's not focusing our eyes are very special so I believe that maybe the technology will come along so that someone like me could get back to driving but who knows you know I people tell me all the time what about self-driving cars it's unlikely that a person like me will ever be able to do that and the reason has nothing to do with technology in the car the reason goes back to the driver's license is the state of Colorado gonna the United States but just use the state of Colorado gonna change all their laws and say we're gonna get a guy that's blind right a special driver's license and he doesn't have to drive and then the next type is who they gonna ensure because they can't ensure me right so the chances of it ever happening I don't know you might be surprised on that one because the insurance premiums for people that use self-driving mode most of the time that is half of what their premiums are if you don't I have a guy that his so I don't know I'm gonna say that in the next five years or so you might find out that you could get some kind of provision okay I'm coming back in five years I'm gonna have the self-driving car here and go for a ride yeah we'll go for a ride I'll put you in the back of my motorcycle give you a ride up to Canyon that would be pretty interesting for a site-limited person I've written I mean I literally visually impaired have done dirt bikes off-road ATVs oh you've ridden them not just ridden behind hell no you just ride yeah I've done dirt bikes flying down a gravel road I had an enduro bike at one time when I lived in Lions and I would go ride up in Estes Park but I knew I couldn't get the legal license sure so I just kept the plates on I had somebody put the plates on and went and cruised on an enduro bike you know I would turn left you know I want to go on this trail I'm like you know I'm 90% sure there's not a car coming you know right I had a couple of accidents because you know one time coming in and I'm like I thought it was a trail going up well but it's a rock wall that you're coming to and you're meant to come down it not go up so I'm rolling and I go into that rock wall with the front tire realized you know rock crawler but it's not meant for a motorcycle I couldn't see it but I've done dirt bikes ATVs UTVs I did some illegal road racing you know with sports cars I want sports cars muscle cars also I've driven so many things that I wasn't supposed to drive I tell people when I work in the blind and visually impaired and do volunteer work I say to them I don't want you to do what I did meaning lie sure but by lying I have proved that a visually impaired person can do much more than they believe yeah or that society believes they can do because the biggest drawback of visual impairment blindness is sometimes it's the mentality of the person sure but it's society and the sighted people believe you know I'm really open about my vision loss I joke about it I let people kind of make fun of me or whatever that I know because I think humor more than anger or anything I think the humor gets people to realize it opens up the door and I believe that as a blind person I need to be an ambassador for people like me and if I come across as angry resentful mean whatever they're going to think everybody blind is that way so I choose to just joke about it let's have fun you know and ask me any stupid question you want because I've probably heard it um I would like to talk about your work a little bit I don't know if we talked about this but I was on the board for the Matthews house my wife was like their seventh employee back in 2008 or so wow so I've I've got a very long relationship yes you told me this yeah and I want to know how you got involved at the landing and like what do you do and what do you do to compensate to do your job well I'm about to surprise you again okay so I started at hate is there some chips with sauce yeah yeah I saw you move is there one with sauce right there I'm gonna hook you up with some fresh sauce okay I saw the movement and I'm like hey let's do that yeah I'm gonna look because the sauce is kind of soaked in now we don't want that we want some fresh uh so wait for me one of the struggles of not driving his time on my hands it's hard to fill time and difficult to get a job to fill time so in let's see this is 26 25 in 24 I signed up and I started volunteering at the Matthews house at their location where they do drop-in services for youth up on Mason courts you know the family center yeah the family center up there yep they were getting ready to open up the landing which is down in loveland and they were having their grand opening and I never thought about asking them for a job and I went and volunteered to help set up tents and tables and all sorts of stuff like that okay and I realized that I knew the manager that when she had originally which this manager was no longer there but the person that they originally hired that I knew her through volunteering so I went up and said hey do you have any positions and she said Pat I have a position that you know fill in helping out when people are sick or people are taking vacation or doesn't show up to shift so I'm like perfect I went on a deed I applied I get the job I start working there in January of last year okay this is 26 yeah perfect I'll just hand it to you boom I appreciate the awareness that made it a lot easier yeah yeah like for me that plate would be a dark color to create contrast right the little bit of germs it might be on my fingers are way less dangerous than the chance that you're going to spill the door knobs and stuff already you know how bad right um I can talk from a little while you two folks I'm sorry I know it's normal I wouldn't do this Pat says I mean that's so weird to me so I get hired go through training all that stuff took a while to tell the shelter gets rolling gets the word out etc but here's where it gets weird I'm floor staff means I'm going to work with kids but there's all these things that need to be done shelves need to be hung and file cabinets need to be put together and all that by history and so much construction background and fixing or repairing sure I start doing all that so my work at the landing is floor staff working with youth 15 to 20 years old but I do the vast majority of all their repair all of their maintenance all of you know wetter water leak we had stuck drains you know I've had toilets that are overflowing you know water leaks all of that stuff I do it usually easy button for that property yeah you know on maintenance you know janitorial guy whatever you want to call it I do the maintenance all that stuff for that property I do because I enjoy it but the other thing is what I'm doing is showing at risk you because they all know we joke they're like that you're blind you can't see it but what they say is in fact a young lady just said this to me yesterday on my shift she's like Pat I don't know how you're doing it but she said thank you for showing me an overcome how to overcome overcome overcome difficulties and challenges and we're talking about she goes how does a blind person hang shelves and make it straight or how do they fix a water leak her out I'm like how do you not I don't know and I jokingly a young lady gave me right home after work which was great saves me on uber costs and we're joking and I said you know I'm likely to be the only possibly the only blind person working in a homeless shelter for on-house youth or any on-house person but I'm probably likely to be the only one period who is a blind guy who's doing their maintenance repair and all of those types of things like when I go to put a screw in the wall I can't really see the screw like yeah it's a dark color built your feelings for what it feels like when the Phillips goes into the bit and when it's all square yeah I can close my eyes and do it because I'm looking for a feel yeah you know and sometimes I'll say to somebody like I couldn't get this screw to come out and I couldn't figure it out and I take pictures of stuff and zoom in but then it's blurry I bring one of the staff members I'm like what is this well it was they used security screws so they're not Phillips they're not screw instead or a star or something it's this odd screw right my brain doesn't know nothing about this right doesn't have a map for that doesn't have a map you know we just had to expand on the adult side 18 to 20 year old so on the minor side 15 to 17 year old I pull those bunk beds apart move off I have a participant help me move all those bunk beds over restock the bunk beds pull the lockers off the wall move the lockers over reput the lockers blah blah blah you know it seems so normal to me but the kids one of the kids yeah he's like I tell people the place that I have there's a blind handyman and then I'm like and then what and then they don't believe me he said he goes I don't know how to explain it to him yeah well but that's huge because you know poverty a lot of times is poverty of hope as much as this poverty of money you know and so for these kids that for whatever reason find themselves temporarily unhoused yes usually they a good reason right they're escaping something worse right than that and and sometimes they just don't know they haven't had enough people tell them how much they're worth it if they you know if they had love carrying in support they wouldn't be where they're at right right they don't have that and you know and so therefore they have a low self opinion of themselves a lot of times and so to think I can do that too if if my dude can fix the shelves I can do it I can I can do a job you know and you know one of the things I say to the youth it's a weird job in some ways and one of the things I say to them you know is there for her I mean we've had many who you know got jobs gotten housing their lives they move their move them through I was just that there's the special event yeah the other day moving through you know and I literally will say to them I'm glad I've got to meet you I honestly hope I never see you again yeah because if I see them again they're back there and has put them back there or I'll say it another way I am sorry you're here but well you're here let's do the best we can because the interesting thing about the landing is it's not just a shelter for on-house youth yeah every restaurant yeah if you want to better your life if you want things to get better work on housing work on GD work on graduating high school work on how do you get snapped at well I don't care what anything it is if you want to do it but the other thing I say just you know let's go back to my world of alcoholism addiction I can not make somebody quit drinking you're doing drugs I cannot make these youth want to get a job want to better their lives I can only be an example of here's what can be done because they also know yeah and I can say hey I'm here to help you but if you don't want it there's nothing about nothing I can do about it and the other thing that goes into my brain is I'm doing that is I say maybe they're not ready but maybe seeing me or knowing somebody cared a week a month a year you've planted a seed and hey that's a good idea you want this one yeah there you are yeah man you're you're I gotta go this is really uncomfortable you're used to it to me it's just so weird there's a new thing for us actually eating it live on stage but um how many people have done this maybe six or so okay well I hope the five before me were the same as me like this is weird everybody's enjoyed it so far I like the chips but it's just weird eating on I like to make my listeners suffer thank you I appreciate I can't see you doing it so thanks for that voice um I really think that's like that's this job quote unquote job or this purpose at the Matthews house isn't just you know I can fix stuff good and support the floor it's also I can help inspire kids that they can find their way to a really fulfilling life as well we have a context that we put all the kids um so the law is 21 days in a two-day discharge then they can come back I see okay so when they discharge we got to pull their bunk down pull all their bedding I'm not bedding they're bedding but yeah they're clothes and stuff and they go in we have a context that volunteers build shelves in and all that stuff goes into the context how do young lady that just came back from her discharge and needed to get stuff out of the context and I'm walking her back there last night it's dark I have a flashlight I wish we didn't earlier but I didn't want to push her you know and she says Pat you're really nice guy I super appreciate you healthy man I said you know thank you and I thought to myself when she said that she most likely has had problems with men who knows what men have done or how they've treated her and I'm giving her an example of a respectful man a man that cares a man that wants to help maybe a father type look figure you know sure I'm giving her that and that is something that maybe she's never experienced in her life yeah or certainly far too little of it very little of it you know because they're you know I my lift drivers pick me up there at the landing and they always have questions you know and I can share generically as I am now um they're always amazed some of them are like I would have never thought and they'll ask me what puts somebody in this position what puts a youth in this position I said there is no one answer no none I said I said I can't even give you a general term I said maybe there's some general but I said it's endless it's kind of like what turns somebody into an entrepreneur right it's kind of like you know kind of a perfect storm of situations sometimes I guess it's kind of like also you know being visually impaired being blind there is an infinite spectrum of ways that lose their eyesight and different vision laws just like there is an infinite spectrum of how a youth ends up in a shelter where we're at but well thank you for that service I really appreciate that as a as a supporter of the man's house and just knowing what great examples can do for kids and thank you thank you for recognizing that in your welcome because um it can be a very tough job for you know it's because they're tough right there like they wouldn't be there if they weren't tough too yeah it can be a very tough job I think I've never actually had any of the youth lose it with me or get upset with me or whatever I think part of it is my age but part of it is different than a lot of people I have an understanding of challenges of life because of my vision loss totally and I'm coming from a real space not from a book I uh so I was four foot eleven in seventh grade and then five foot one at the end of tenth grade wow so for all of middle school plus right I didn't grow basically right and I was curt the squirt you know and I was smart right but like all my classmates were like 60 pounds more than me right foot taller right and it was misery at the time honestly I was super depressed things like that and like I credit it now as being probably a major formative for me to be able to listen to and connect with people of lots of different kind of stripes because I was the little guy with no cards at one point no no social credibility no no girls wanted my number right in middle school um and so I think there's a certain validity to that to having been there you know so I don't think that at least my experience you know nobody's been over you've been but I don't think how many of us really learned something from something good happening to us right we learn from the challenges and we learn from the loss you know I've done obviously as I say lots of loss lots of grief lots of problems but there's what made me stronger you know it's that saying what doesn't kill you will make you stronger that's no joke true you know you know I can think of some of the joy things but none of the joyous things are the ones that are like oh yeah I learned this because I had so much money life was so great and this is what I learned those aren't the memories that come when I come to lessons life lessons that I've learned that doesn't come to my mind I'm gonna unless there's anything you'd want to share that I haven't asked about so far we'll know it's been I mean terrific you know you said to me you know Pat um I'm pretty good at just ad living and figuring it out and I really do appreciate that I appreciate the hot sauce you know and the interest in the time that you've put into helping the Matthews house that is all so so important you know because the general public just has no clue they they never even think that there's gonna be some kid out there that doesn't have a home right back at you and we're not done yet because the final segment is the local experience okay and that is the the craziest experience of your lifetime that you're willing to share a lot of times people take shots or something like that I want to offer that yeah if you wanted to get a shot of hot sauce and no I'm on that but what's what's a really crazy specific experience along the way whether it's got to do with your vision impairment or business acumen or you know obviously your your parents tragic and sudden passing right was a crazy experience um I think when I come to crazy experiences the reality in a weird way I think my entire life has been a crazy experience driving without vision but when you talk about crazy experiences I wanted to go out and do a whole bunch of things I think one of my craziest experiences there's three that come to mind the first one was I wanted to learn how to jump out of planes you know skydive okay um it's super weird because a lot of people are doing it for the scenery and everything and once doesn't exist you know I'm just doing it for the thrill of the jump yeah and I understand physics enough no this is probably supposed to be scary yeah yeah and and um the first time I did a solo jump I blacked out and you know they have the rip cord to pull and I blacked out and I said it to the guy and he's like you're pushing so much adrenaline you're blacking out on the adrenaline whoa another time was you know when I was 40 I'd never ridden a bull and I cowboyed a lot okay so I decided um let's try this out I did it a couple of times the guys like you're a natural I'm like and I'm natural enough to know me yeah so it's gonna get hurt and I think right up there with crazy experiences was in my 20s able to travel I went to Belize okay and uh I caught a taxi with some people that I met um at the Guatemalan border and this is in the 90s way Safer caught a taxi at the Guatemalan border and we're heading to the Mayan ruins of to call cool we come around the corner and there's what we would probably call today terrorists back then we're calling them gorillas and I'm not talking big hairy gorillas yeah I'm talking a whole bunch of young people with bananas and guns machine guns yeah and they make us get out and they go through our bags and all of our stuff and I can't remember if we had to pay them off or whatever to get out of there you know ended up at the Mayan ruins which is incredible absolutely I wish you know probably many of one of only a few places I'd go back to I think I've just had a lot of crazy experiences because you know I've ran bulldozers excavators all sorts of equipment that you're not supposed to be doing with eyesight like this I think my whole life is probably a crazy experience I would not disagree and I'm I'm I'm both um proud of you for doing all the many things that you did uh in that space and living as a sighted person while not being right that cable right and even more than that I'm equally so I suppose proud of you for setting setting it down for your own safety for the safety of others around and things and so both of those things I really think deserve to be highlighted thank you thank you this closing it was tough I you know I super appreciate that because vision loss is tough there's no two ways about it but I'm a prime example you can overcome it you can succeed you can do things gonna be hard you know you just got to try you know you just got to try well God bless thank you for sharing thank you so much I appreciate your time and the hot sauce and the chips yeah I'm gonna have another off mic look forward to thank you bye for now