Nov. 1, 2025

EXPERIENCE 242 | Rapid Transformational Therapist Rebecca Archuletta on Grief, Neuroplasticity, and Overcoming Hidden Traumas

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Season 5

My guest on today’s podcast was Rebecca Archuletta, Rapid Transformational Therapist and Founder of Because You Matter - Healing By Rebecca.  

Rebecca’s journey is informed by grief, with multiple suicides in her sibling group and extended family, a career rise and fall and rejuvenation - and powered by intentional education.  Her methodology combines hypnosis with other modalities to rewire and break through long  standing barriers to healing, and she shares abundantly how to identify, process, and move past.  

Rebecca shares her authentic journey and more recent experience in transformational healing - and I know you’ll enjoy, as I did, my conversation with Rebecca Archuletta.  

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Music By: A Brother's Fountain

Transcript
WEBVTT

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My guest on today's podcast was Rebecca Archuleta Rapid transformational therapist and founder of, because You Matter Healing by Rebecca.

00:00:09.259 --> 00:00:17.539
Rebecca's journey is informed by grief with multiple suicides in her sibling group and extended family, a career rise and fall and rejuvenation.

00:00:17.914 --> 00:00:19.894
And powered by intentional education.

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Her methodology combines hypnosis with other modalities to rewire and break through longstanding barriers to healing, and she shares abundantly how to identify process and move past.

00:00:31.175 --> 00:00:39.695
Rebecca shares her authentic journey and more recent experience in transformational healing, and I know you'll enjoy as I did my conversation with Rebecca Arch.

00:01:19.608 --> 00:01:21.587
Welcome back to the Loco Experience Podcast.

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My guest today is Rebecca Archuleta and she is a rapid transformational therapist and the founder of, because You Matter Healing by Rebecca.

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Hello everybody.

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Thanks for being here.

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They're not listening live, so they can't really respond in any fashion, so

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that's okay.

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But

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thanks for spending time here.

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I'm glad you're excited to be on the local experience.

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Absolutely.

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It's, it's a cool vibe in here.

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I love.

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This is great.

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Yes,

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you did decline my offer of, uh, some locally grown, uh, marijuana joint that sits in my dinosaur.

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Yeah, I declined all that.

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I'm just doing water.

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Just

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water.

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Flat water.

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Just flat water.

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Yeah.

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I've got, uh, raspberry lime bubble water.

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So if I get burpee later, uh, we'll know why.

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You'll know why.

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Exactly.

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That's good to know.

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So, um, I guess let's start with, uh, a little bit of definition of terms.

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Um, what's a rapid transformational therapist?

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That's a mouthful, isn't it?

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Yeah,

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yeah.

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Well, and I understand kind of the, the logic, uh, and it's a little bit contrary.

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Like if I'm a therapist in today's world, like I just want.

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Long-term clients, uh, you know, once a week for weeks and weeks and weeks is perfect.

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And I'm just the opposite.

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I used to be a traditional counselor.

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Okay.

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I was a cognitive behavioral therapist back in the day.

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I had my degree, a psychology degree out of University of Wyoming, and I worked with kids and teens and I worked with them, you know, for months, you know, a long time.

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Yeah.

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And they all graduated outta the program, but there was a couple of'em.

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I didn't think I got to the root cause of it, and now I probably didn't because the only way to do that is through your subconscious mind.

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Okay.

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So, and I decided to go back in the wellness field.

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I went back to school to be a certified rapid transformational therapist.

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And so the beautiful part of that is it's a combination of different modalities.

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So it's a combination of psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, NLP, and cognitive behavioral therapy all wrapped into one

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NLP being

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neurolinguistic programming.

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Okay.

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Yep.

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It's like a, if I tell myself I, I think I can, I'm smart, people like me.

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Yes.

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Then, then it comes true.

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Right.

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Eventually

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just like, you know, Henry Ford, if you think you can or think you can't.

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Yeah.

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You're right.

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Yeah, exactly.

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One of my favorite quotes

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actually.

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Absolutely.

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So, uh, so instead of kind of a a, a single tiered approach to Mm.

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Behavioral therapy, if you will, or whatever you're struggling with, whether it's relationships or depression or whatever, you're, you're trying to take a multi-pronged approach with, with every, with, with all of your clients.

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Do you hit'em with absolutely.

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All the barrels kind of, is that what you're talking about?

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Oh, all the barrels.

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Exactly.

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Okay.

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And so instead of seeing somebody, you know, for months and weeks and years, I see them, majority of them, one to three sessions.

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And the beautiful part is the, I have a really detailed questionnaire that I give them first.

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Okay.

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Which helps me learn about them specifically.

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'cause every client is unique and individual, so I treat them all individual.

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There's no cookie cut anything with what I do.

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And so after the, the questionnaire, which also tells me what they're looking for.

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So if they come to me for anxiety, then I ask them specific questions and like the key thing is what did they want their life to be like without the anxiety?

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So that's the most, that's the sweet sauce, right?

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Because whatever they put in what they want their life to be like.

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So here

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it's not like, not thinking about the habits you're trying to get rid of.

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It's really more about replacing them with the good stuff.

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Yeah.

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What do, what do you want your life?

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Imagine that first.

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Yeah.

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So it's, there's no limits.

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Sky's the limit.

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They can just do whatever they want.

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So whatever they ask for that in addition to what comes out of the session is what I put in their personal recording.

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So after the two hour session, which they're under hypnosis throughout the two hours and they're talking the entire time.

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Okay.

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I'm just guiding them through, are they conscious?

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They're, no, they're in hypnosis, but they're still talking.

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They're interacting the whole time.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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And they're a hundred percent in control, so if they wanna come out of it, they just open their eyes.

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Oh, okay.

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They're a hundred percent in control.

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Okay.

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And so I just guide them through three scenes when they were anxious, wherever it starts, and usually we'll start whatever they think it is and then it, your subconscious mind goes to something totally different.

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Hmm.

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Because

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it's buried it.

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The, your brain's number one job is to protect you.

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So it buries it deep.

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But that's ultimately what hypnosis is, is kind of a more direct access to the subconscious mind in some ways.

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Absolutely.

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Is that right?

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Yeah.

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So Exactly.

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So you're kind of having a conversation with this subconscious mind.

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Absolutely.

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With the person's agreement.

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Yes.

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Right.

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Like they can get the right to tap out at any time.

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Exactly.

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Um, are people that easy to hypnotize.

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Absolutely.

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Really?

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Absolutely.

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I've been so blessed.

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I haven't had anybody had an issue with it.

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Really?

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Yeah.

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Knock on wood now.

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Yeah.

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They've all, they've all gone under and some of them struggle a little bit.

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I just, you know, do something where it's a happy scene to begin with.

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Yeah.

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And then they just kind of like, let, let their guard down and just relax into it.

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Because who wants, who doesn't wanna hear a happy scene?

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Right.

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Yeah.

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A lot of times it's childhood or, you know, when they're, you know, their first child was born or something to that significance.

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Yeah.

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They're like so excited and they're, they usually actually sense cry because they're happy tears and they haven't thought about the happy scene for so long and they're like, oh my gosh.

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And when they go back to it, they literally see it like they're experiencing like a computer screen.

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Like they get to see everything that's happening, all the people.

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Okay.

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All the feel goods in it, that kind of thing.

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So,

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and then are you also like exploring the trauma in that same.

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Session.

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Absolutely.

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Yeah.

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So what we do is we go back to whatever is the trigger of their issue, let's say like, and their subconscious nose, even if subconscious, they haven't

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really brought it up to the surface.

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Exactly.

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It's buried.

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So you're probably uncovering like young age abuse and things like that sometimes, or fat shaming but never explored or like a lot of these really hidden like is that, do people know what's.

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Not necessarily

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their problem, their stumbling block is when they come to see you or is that kind of the problem?

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They haven't been able to figure that out.

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Exactly.

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That's why they come to me because they've gone through the traditional counseling, they've done, for example, EMDR, Reiki, all the things, and it's still not moving.

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There's still something missing.

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There's still something wrong.

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And so with the subconscious mind, which is basically it's a catalog of what happens to us from the moment we're conceived to the moment we die.

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And so in hypnosis, we can actually go back, subconscious mind will go right back to the three scenes have the most significant of what's their trouble.

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And then together with the client, we, we figure out what that is.

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And it's usually anywhere from zero.

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Like they're still in the womb to seven years old.

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So it's child childhood for sure.

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Okay.

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Um, and in some cases, the trauma they took on their mom's trauma while they were still in the womb.

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Okay.

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Then they were born with it.

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Which is bizarre because people think, how could a child remember that?

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But they can.

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It's like if the

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mom was abused.

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Mm-hmm.

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By her spouse especially, or something like that.

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Or,

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yes.

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We had one situation.

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It wasn't my client, it was actually Marissa Pier, the founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy.

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She had a client where he could not be around music drums, he just would freak out if he heard drums.

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And his fiance was in, you know, the New York orchestra.

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And so she really wanted him to see her perform and he couldn't do it'cause the drums.

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And so he went to Marissa to get ized to figure out what it was.

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And it was just mind blowing.

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'cause he was in the womb, his mom was being chased.

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Um, they were in Africa at the time.

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And so she hid underneath the sink.

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Behind all this stuff to protect her and her baby.

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And the, her heartbeat was so predominant that it sounds like drums to him.

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And so once he figured that out with Marissa's guidance and help, they cleared all that out.

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Once he got outta the session, he talked to his mom, she was still alive and said, mom, is this, does this happen?

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Hmm.

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And mom said, how did you know that you weren't even born yet?

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And that's confirmed it, that's what it was.

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The heartbeat sounds like drums to him.

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And so once he figured that out, working with Marissa through hypnosis and the techniques that we use, they're able to clear that out.

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And so now he knows drums are just drums had nothing to do.

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So he was able to detach that association Interesting.

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And be able to go see his fiance perform.

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So who are your clients?

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Uh, not specifically of, I imagine you're supposed to have confidentiality around stuff of that.

00:09:47.418 --> 00:09:47.513
Of course.

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If they have any famous ones that have said it's okay, let me know.

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But like, um.

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Like, what are they trying to accomplish?

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Uh, do you, maybe you don't have really a demographic.

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So I have, I don't have a specific niche because everyone wants you to, to niche down, right?

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Yeah.

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But I'm not gonna deny somebody if I can help.

00:10:07.592 --> 00:10:07.732
Well, but you

00:10:07.732 --> 00:10:13.052
kind of define your niche as people that have tried to do stuff and it hasn't really worked.

00:10:13.322 --> 00:10:13.923
Exactly.

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So like, my client is, they've done all the things and they still, there's still something there.

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Yeah.

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So that in a sense, my ideal client.

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So for me, uh, I would say my specialty is, so therapists out

00:10:23.347 --> 00:10:29.883
there listening, if you've got these tough cases that you're not making progress on, um, maybe you should just refer'em to Rebecca.

00:10:30.062 --> 00:10:30.663
Absolutely.

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And I work a lot with people who are currently seeing therapists.

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Yeah.

00:10:34.988 --> 00:10:36.302
Well, I assume they can't get to even for,

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even for, even for all of us, it's okay to talk to somebody once in a while.

00:10:41.192 --> 00:10:41.613
Absolutely.

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You know, it's like part of why like.

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Churches and small groups occurred and villages would have, you know, different things.

00:10:48.363 --> 00:10:54.482
But it is good to be in community and talk through stuff and, and for a lot of people that has become therapy on a regular basis.

00:10:54.482 --> 00:10:54.572
Right.

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Even though it's just kinda a once a month, uh, maintenance check.

00:10:57.602 --> 00:10:58.023
Exactly.

00:10:58.052 --> 00:10:59.822
Um, but that isn't your business model.

00:10:59.852 --> 00:11:10.923
Like if you get somebody passed those major challenges, they may still want to visit a counselor once a month or once a quarter or something like that anyway.

00:11:11.462 --> 00:11:12.033
Exactly.

00:11:12.033 --> 00:11:19.533
And so people who are seeing counselors and they're just still stuck, they can't figure out what it is, then they can come see me as a, as a complimentary.

00:11:19.878 --> 00:11:21.018
Kind of therapist, right?

00:11:21.023 --> 00:11:21.072
Yeah.

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So I compliment what the, the counselors are currently doing to get to the root cause of it, because you'll never get to it in talk therapy.

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You have to go to the subconscious mind because it's very deep to protect you.

00:11:31.548 --> 00:11:31.668
Yeah.

00:11:31.668 --> 00:11:40.008
So once we uncover that, then the client knows what it is, the reason behind it, and they can go back to their counselor and then they can continue on that kind of thing.

00:11:40.008 --> 00:11:44.748
And if they get stuck again Yeah, then they can come back to me and then figure out what's the next thing.

00:11:44.868 --> 00:11:48.077
Because once you open that door, then you wanna keep going.

00:11:48.378 --> 00:11:48.707
Right.

00:11:48.768 --> 00:11:59.717
I was just reflecting, sorry to interrupt, but on your industry over the last probably 50 years or so, because you know it go the, uh, psychia psychiatry, right?

00:11:59.748 --> 00:12:04.158
Kind of goes back to Freud and stuff, and that examination of the subconscious as being kind of the.

00:12:04.952 --> 00:12:06.327
Main driver of everything.

00:12:06.327 --> 00:12:06.727
Mm-hmm.

00:12:06.807 --> 00:12:16.232
And then Freud got kind of on the, out socially, culturally for various reasons and stuff, and, and psychiatrists could prescribe drugs.

00:12:16.533 --> 00:12:16.623
Mm-hmm.

00:12:17.102 --> 00:12:25.082
And it turns out pharmaceutical companies are really good at prescribing or creating drugs that take the edge off and stuff.

00:12:25.173 --> 00:12:31.832
And so the field of psychiatry has really shifted from being an examination and an unfolding of the unconscious

00:12:31.863 --> 00:12:31.952
mm-hmm.

00:12:32.403 --> 00:12:36.212
To the ability to prescribe drugs.

00:12:36.528 --> 00:12:36.618
Right.

00:12:37.488 --> 00:12:38.837
Is that not, is that accurate?

00:12:38.837 --> 00:12:39.707
It feels like it is.

00:12:39.707 --> 00:12:41.028
From an outsider looking in, there are those that

00:12:41.028 --> 00:12:41.357
do that.

00:12:41.357 --> 00:12:43.518
I don't do any of prescribing of drugs.

00:12:43.518 --> 00:12:45.062
Mine's all just mind doing it.

00:12:45.062 --> 00:12:45.677
All Mind shift.

00:12:45.738 --> 00:12:45.947
Yeah.

00:12:46.097 --> 00:12:49.937
Because you know when through hypnosis, the beautiful part is the two hour session.

00:12:50.268 --> 00:12:54.827
So I have the client come in, we do the two hour session, we clear out the limiting.

00:12:55.168 --> 00:13:02.937
Beliefs, you know, the untruths, a lot of it's from, you know, childhood where they took on from their parents or their caregivers or coaches or what have you.

00:13:02.937 --> 00:13:03.778
We clear that out.

00:13:03.778 --> 00:13:08.488
We put good things in, and a lot of that's from the questionnaire, what they want their life to be like.

00:13:08.488 --> 00:13:13.587
And then in addition to what I discover in the session, then I add to that.

00:13:13.707 --> 00:13:16.168
And so then I create the personalized audio.

00:13:16.288 --> 00:13:20.758
And the secret sauce of all this is they listen to it for 21 nights while they're sleeping.

00:13:20.908 --> 00:13:26.248
And the reason we wanna do it while they're sleeping is because the subconscious mind is a hundred percent going.

00:13:26.398 --> 00:13:31.528
This is my tape of myself saying, you're smart enough, you're tall enough, your beard looks fabulous.

00:13:32.312 --> 00:13:32.732
Right.

00:13:33.153 --> 00:13:33.842
Absolutely.

00:13:33.842 --> 00:13:34.802
Kurt, you go there,

00:13:35.732 --> 00:13:39.423
but I mean, that's kind of the neuro-linguistic programming that you talked about earlier.

00:13:39.452 --> 00:13:39.812
Yes.

00:13:39.812 --> 00:13:41.852
And mine's a lot more in depth than that, but go for it.

00:13:41.852 --> 00:13:43.682
If that works for you, you keep going.

00:13:44.043 --> 00:13:50.342
I have worse problems than how good my beard looks around perception of there's thoughts on my beard.

00:13:50.523 --> 00:13:54.062
So we, we do some really a lot of good actions, right?

00:13:54.062 --> 00:14:00.062
So a lot of how do we talk to ourselves with, you know, love, kindness, respect, you know, what are our action steps?

00:14:00.062 --> 00:14:08.972
So if they are, you know, getting rid of their smoker, we're no longer smoking instead of smoking, we figure out in the session what is it?

00:14:09.393 --> 00:14:11.732
What causes it, what's the purpose of smoking?

00:14:11.732 --> 00:14:12.873
It's fulfilling something.

00:14:12.873 --> 00:14:15.543
And so we get rid of that and we put something good in instead.

00:14:15.753 --> 00:14:15.812
Yeah.

00:14:15.842 --> 00:14:19.472
So instead of smoking, we're gonna give them other things to do instead of smoking.

00:14:19.653 --> 00:14:19.952
Right?

00:14:19.952 --> 00:14:24.812
And so we put all the good stuff in there and they listen to it for 21 nights while they're sleeping.

00:14:24.903 --> 00:14:29.702
And the reason we do that,'cause then the subconscious mind's creating new neuropathways in the brain.

00:14:30.123 --> 00:14:32.102
So that becomes what's familiar.

00:14:32.613 --> 00:14:34.293
And then they automatically just do that.

00:14:34.293 --> 00:14:41.253
And the beautiful part is, some people it's immediate, some people it's retroactive, and some people it's gradual.

00:14:41.253 --> 00:14:42.692
So everybody's different.

00:14:42.692 --> 00:14:42.753
Yeah.

00:14:42.903 --> 00:14:45.003
And depending on what it is, that's what I was

00:14:45.003 --> 00:14:45.543
thinking earlier.

00:14:45.543 --> 00:14:51.212
The cynic in me was like, you know, change is good and change is hard and sometimes slow.

00:14:51.212 --> 00:14:55.863
And that's kind of a little bit contrary to what you're saying.

00:14:55.952 --> 00:14:56.043
Mm-hmm.

00:14:56.312 --> 00:15:04.712
Um, and like I've kind of studied a lot and read a lot of books about this neuroplasticity and the subconscious and stuff like that.

00:15:05.702 --> 00:15:22.773
So I got a little, you know, I, I've got a little bit of, uh, but it sounds almost too good to be true, especially for somebody that would be like, you know, I've been seeing this therapist for four months and we're just still kinda where I was, or I've been, you know, I'm a 10 time loser on quitting smoking.

00:15:22.832 --> 00:15:22.923
Right.

00:15:24.153 --> 00:15:24.633
Or whatever.

00:15:25.202 --> 00:15:26.552
Um, it's serving

00:15:26.552 --> 00:15:27.092
a purpose.

00:15:27.092 --> 00:15:31.383
And so through talk therapy, you're not gonna realize what that purpose is, right?

00:15:31.383 --> 00:15:33.903
Your subconscious mind's gonna buried deep because it's serving a purpose.

00:15:33.903 --> 00:15:38.643
So what I do as a hypnotherapist is I, you know, rapid transformational therapist.

00:15:38.643 --> 00:15:42.783
I go through there and I figure out what that is, and then we put good stuff in instead.

00:15:43.143 --> 00:15:43.472
Right?

00:15:43.472 --> 00:15:45.962
So we figure out, why are you smoking?

00:15:46.442 --> 00:15:50.763
You know, I have, you know, I had a client that came in, older, uh, woman.

00:15:50.763 --> 00:15:52.143
She had gone to all these specialists.

00:15:52.143 --> 00:15:53.913
She had this rash on her face, okay?

00:15:53.913 --> 00:15:55.322
Could not figure out what is it?

00:15:55.352 --> 00:15:57.513
'cause medically there was no reason for it.

00:15:57.842 --> 00:16:01.653
She'd even gone through surgeries, just craziness, trying to get rid of this, okay?

00:16:01.743 --> 00:16:02.822
And it wasn't going away.

00:16:02.822 --> 00:16:05.942
And so through hypnosis, we figured out what it was.

00:16:05.942 --> 00:16:10.202
And it was, you know, this is a woman in her sixties, her sons, when they were, you know.

00:16:10.548 --> 00:16:13.967
Seven and five were sexually abused by a family member.

00:16:14.357 --> 00:16:20.388
When they, the parents were off on a business trip being taken care of by family members, they thought were safe.

00:16:20.388 --> 00:16:23.148
Unfortunately, there was somebody that was not safe.

00:16:23.268 --> 00:16:29.357
And luckily, you know, by the, you know, the second, third time one of the sons told the parents what happened.

00:16:29.477 --> 00:16:29.717
Right.

00:16:29.778 --> 00:16:31.008
And they immediately don't wanna stay with

00:16:31.697 --> 00:16:31.937
aunt.

00:16:32.597 --> 00:16:32.778
Yeah.

00:16:32.778 --> 00:16:33.738
We don't wanna stay with this person.

00:16:33.738 --> 00:16:36.552
Not probably Uncle Mark or whatever, or grandpa, whatever.

00:16:37.173 --> 00:16:37.802
Exactly.

00:16:37.802 --> 00:16:40.533
And so the parents reacted immediately.

00:16:40.832 --> 00:16:40.863
Okay.

00:16:40.863 --> 00:16:42.332
You know, they took control of that.

00:16:42.363 --> 00:16:46.893
You know, they had a conversation with this person and the children would never saw that person again.

00:16:47.163 --> 00:16:48.783
And so they definitely me, right?

00:16:48.783 --> 00:16:51.783
They put them in, you know, counseling and that kind of thing immediately.

00:16:51.783 --> 00:16:58.533
And so the mom, even though she, her and her husband reacted positively, took care of the sons.

00:16:58.533 --> 00:17:05.133
All of the things she took on responsibility and all that guilt and shame that she took on from that.

00:17:05.133 --> 00:17:07.248
And now, you know, the sons are at thirties that manifested

00:17:07.248 --> 00:17:09.663
in this like physical cheek rash.

00:17:09.663 --> 00:17:10.143
Yes.

00:17:10.173 --> 00:17:11.522
So that rash was her,

00:17:11.673 --> 00:17:14.042
like the burning of embarrassment almost of shame.

00:17:14.042 --> 00:17:15.182
It was just, you know, the issues

00:17:15.182 --> 00:17:16.232
are in our tissues.

00:17:16.353 --> 00:17:16.712
Yeah.

00:17:16.803 --> 00:17:19.113
And it's gonna come out however it wants to come out.

00:17:19.113 --> 00:17:23.553
And so once we uncovered that, she was like, oh my gosh, that makes total sense.

00:17:23.643 --> 00:17:23.732
Hmm.

00:17:24.123 --> 00:17:33.482
And so once we discovered that and she had gone through, you know, the 21 nights of listening to it, reprogrammed, all that kind of thing, you know, I, not too long ago, self grace,

00:17:33.482 --> 00:17:33.843
ultimate.

00:17:34.573 --> 00:17:35.502
She was amazing.

00:17:35.563 --> 00:17:37.093
Her skin is beautiful.

00:17:37.452 --> 00:17:39.012
She doesn't have the issues anymore.

00:17:39.252 --> 00:17:49.843
She's sleeping through the night easily, effortlessly, and she doesn't have the rash anymore and she, I saw her not too long ago and she saw me and she ran up and gave me a big old hug, and she's like, look at my skin.

00:17:49.843 --> 00:17:50.772
It's beautiful.

00:17:51.607 --> 00:17:54.307
And it's just amazing what our brain does.

00:17:54.458 --> 00:17:58.387
You know, it's to protect us or,'cause she hadn't dealt with that herself.

00:17:58.417 --> 00:17:58.778
Yeah.

00:17:58.928 --> 00:18:00.248
You know, forgiven herself.

00:18:00.248 --> 00:18:00.577
Sure.

00:18:00.607 --> 00:18:00.758
All

00:18:00.758 --> 00:18:01.508
those type of things.

00:18:01.508 --> 00:18:01.627
Yeah.

00:18:01.627 --> 00:18:01.778
She

00:18:01.778 --> 00:18:03.577
felt like nothing really happened to me.

00:18:03.577 --> 00:18:09.728
What do I need to, even, even even seeing a talk therapist, which may or may not have got to that root cause it didn't, anyway.

00:18:10.117 --> 00:18:10.627
Oh, she did.

00:18:10.627 --> 00:18:11.917
So she was investing in that.

00:18:11.917 --> 00:18:12.067
She just, she

00:18:12.067 --> 00:18:13.837
had done all the things Right.

00:18:13.958 --> 00:18:15.397
I mean, to extremes.

00:18:15.397 --> 00:18:16.268
And it still

00:18:16.387 --> 00:18:16.718
Yeah.

00:18:16.958 --> 00:18:17.768
Wasn't helping, probably

00:18:17.768 --> 00:18:20.137
in her case, probably a lot of physical doctors too.

00:18:20.137 --> 00:18:20.468
Different.

00:18:20.468 --> 00:18:21.008
Absolutely.

00:18:21.008 --> 00:18:22.988
Chinese medicine and doctors.

00:18:22.988 --> 00:18:25.958
All the cream and potions and all kinds of stuff and

00:18:25.958 --> 00:18:26.827
nothing was helping.

00:18:26.827 --> 00:18:32.768
And so once we got to that root cause of it, and this was, you know, like 30 years after this happened just about.

00:18:32.768 --> 00:18:35.827
And so it's like, oh my gosh, you've had this this entire time.

00:18:35.978 --> 00:18:36.188
Yeah.

00:18:36.428 --> 00:18:40.147
You know, and our literally, our body holds it, our issues are in our tissues.

00:18:40.147 --> 00:18:44.917
So until we find out what that is and clear it out and do the work, it's still gonna be there.

00:18:44.948 --> 00:18:45.877
So who.

00:18:47.762 --> 00:18:48.393
How do I say it?

00:18:48.393 --> 00:18:54.002
Like, I started asking about kind of niching a little bit of who your clients ultimately are and stuff.

00:18:54.873 --> 00:19:00.333
And I, and I wondered to myself as you were describing this person, is it, is it more females than males?

00:19:00.333 --> 00:19:03.782
Like Oh, no, no more, more males even, or, I have, it's a split.

00:19:04.232 --> 00:19:05.012
I have hard to predict.

00:19:05.048 --> 00:19:06.393
I have both, um, age

00:19:06.393 --> 00:19:06.843
range.

00:19:07.442 --> 00:19:08.073
Does it matter?

00:19:08.073 --> 00:19:08.083
Matter?

00:19:08.432 --> 00:19:12.633
I mean, from eight years old to eighties, I've had all of them come to the door.

00:19:12.633 --> 00:19:12.903
Right.

00:19:12.903 --> 00:19:22.712
And so, um, especially for men, but for me, I, I really love to see the men come in because usually when they do, you know, they needed a therapist before, right?

00:19:22.712 --> 00:19:24.093
Like they are on dire straits.

00:19:24.093 --> 00:19:25.113
Like, I need your help now.

00:19:25.232 --> 00:19:25.413
Right.

00:19:25.442 --> 00:19:26.613
Like yesterday kind of thing.

00:19:26.887 --> 00:19:27.167
Right.

00:19:27.268 --> 00:19:28.248
And so, and I, if

00:19:28.248 --> 00:19:30.167
they're coming for help, it's past time they came for help.

00:19:30.167 --> 00:19:30.188
Oh my

00:19:30.188 --> 00:19:30.692
gosh.

00:19:30.992 --> 00:19:31.292
Yeah.

00:19:31.292 --> 00:19:33.663
So if you're a male and you're struggling, don't wait.

00:19:33.752 --> 00:19:36.752
Like, come and get help right away because there's no reason to suffer.

00:19:36.752 --> 00:19:39.633
And the bravest thing you can do is to ask for help.

00:19:39.678 --> 00:19:39.738
Yeah.

00:19:40.428 --> 00:19:53.178
But there's still, oftentimes they've been to these traditional sources and things like that and not, um, what, like are there others that practice your craft?

00:19:53.538 --> 00:19:54.617
Um, there absolutely is.

00:19:54.617 --> 00:19:54.887
There's a

00:19:54.887 --> 00:19:57.498
lot of specialists and especially in Northern Colorado.

00:19:57.587 --> 00:19:57.857
Okay.

00:19:57.857 --> 00:20:01.397
You know, I have a lot of peers that we refer each other's clients to.

00:20:01.397 --> 00:20:01.458
Yeah.

00:20:01.458 --> 00:20:02.718
Because they're specialties.

00:20:02.762 --> 00:20:02.853
Like,

00:20:03.722 --> 00:20:09.512
oh, so some might be a specialist in weight loss or smoking cessation or different things like that too.

00:20:09.692 --> 00:20:15.452
Yeah, like a medical, you know, they focus on medical, they focus on, you know, addictions.

00:20:15.603 --> 00:20:15.722
Yeah.

00:20:15.722 --> 00:20:17.313
You know, they focus on whatever.

00:20:17.762 --> 00:20:23.403
And all of us technically can do all of the things, but first specialist and we know that from each other.

00:20:23.403 --> 00:20:23.462
Yeah.

00:20:23.522 --> 00:20:27.063
If we see someone who's really struggling, like, we'll just refer you to that person.

00:20:27.063 --> 00:20:27.123
So

00:20:27.212 --> 00:20:30.633
what would your industry friends send to you in, in past?

00:20:30.633 --> 00:20:31.353
For me it's the

00:20:31.353 --> 00:20:32.012
deep trauma.

00:20:32.012 --> 00:20:32.042
Okay.

00:20:32.252 --> 00:20:34.262
So like suicide especially.

00:20:34.383 --> 00:20:34.623
Okay.

00:20:34.682 --> 00:20:42.542
Um, my story, personally, my story is why I went into this was, um, on the youngest of four and I had three older brothers complete suicide.

00:20:44.222 --> 00:20:45.212
Uh, at what age were you?

00:20:45.212 --> 00:20:46.143
The first one I was in my

00:20:46.143 --> 00:20:46.712
twenties.

00:20:47.252 --> 00:20:47.613
Wow.

00:20:47.673 --> 00:20:47.883
Yeah.

00:20:47.883 --> 00:20:52.563
My oldest brother and, uh, Jeff, he's 10 years older than me and he completed suicide.

00:20:53.163 --> 00:21:02.373
It feels like, like sometimes we kind of get to the start of your business and then we jump into the time machine on this podcast, but it feels like in your case, we almost have to.

00:21:03.153 --> 00:21:06.962
Do it justice by jumping in the time machine and kind of go back to the beginning to make it make a,

00:21:07.442 --> 00:21:08.272
it makes sense more sense.

00:21:08.343 --> 00:21:08.762
Is that true?

00:21:08.988 --> 00:21:09.188
Absolutely.

00:21:09.508 --> 00:21:09.907
I think so.

00:21:10.067 --> 00:21:12.393
I mean, I was a traditional counselor first.

00:21:12.423 --> 00:21:12.752
Yeah.

00:21:12.962 --> 00:21:14.163
Um, before that happened.

00:21:14.163 --> 00:21:14.442
And for how, for

00:21:14.442 --> 00:21:15.032
how many years?

00:21:15.032 --> 00:21:17.553
Uh oh, you, so you got outta college.

00:21:17.972 --> 00:21:18.212
Oh.

00:21:18.212 --> 00:21:19.323
And then this all happened, I was in

00:21:19.468 --> 00:21:28.083
college and then actually I, I didn't, I was, you know, getting my, I had my degree and I was going for my master's when everything was just kind of happening and blew up.

00:21:28.083 --> 00:21:28.143
Wow.

00:21:28.143 --> 00:21:29.343
So then I, I just stopped.

00:21:29.343 --> 00:21:30.932
I was like, wow, this is way, way too much.

00:21:31.232 --> 00:21:32.762
I need to do my own healing first.

00:21:32.883 --> 00:21:33.182
Wow.

00:21:33.212 --> 00:21:33.843
Kind of thing.

00:21:33.962 --> 00:21:34.202
Yep.

00:21:34.202 --> 00:21:39.107
I'm gonna, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna, I'm gonna set the stage properly and just like zoom all the way back to.

00:21:40.278 --> 00:21:42.528
Young, little 5-year-old Rebecca.

00:21:43.488 --> 00:21:44.988
Um, where's she at?

00:21:45.768 --> 00:21:46.278
So describe.

00:21:46.532 --> 00:21:47.238
So 5-year-old.

00:21:47.238 --> 00:21:48.048
It was fun.

00:21:48.048 --> 00:21:49.428
Like five years old.

00:21:49.428 --> 00:21:52.307
You know, I was the youngest of four, only girl Hispanic family.

00:21:52.397 --> 00:21:52.637
Okay.

00:21:52.938 --> 00:21:54.048
And life was good.

00:21:54.377 --> 00:21:54.978
And my grandpa lived there.

00:21:54.978 --> 00:21:55.397
You got pretty

00:21:55.397 --> 00:21:58.607
reddish hair for Hispanic family, but sometimes that carries, we're from Spain.

00:21:59.208 --> 00:22:00.288
This actual Spanish.

00:22:00.423 --> 00:22:01.032
Yeah, actual

00:22:01.032 --> 00:22:01.272
Spanish.

00:22:01.333 --> 00:22:03.887
So if you go to Spain, you'll see redheads with brown eyes.

00:22:03.917 --> 00:22:04.038
Yeah.

00:22:04.038 --> 00:22:05.117
And then blondes with brown eyes.

00:22:05.117 --> 00:22:05.238
Yes.

00:22:05.238 --> 00:22:08.238
So you can tell the difference between Spanish or Mexican.

00:22:08.538 --> 00:22:09.553
We're all Hispanic, you know?

00:22:09.553 --> 00:22:09.752
Sure.

00:22:09.772 --> 00:22:11.748
But you can tell the geographics of it.

00:22:12.258 --> 00:22:14.117
Um, so at five years old, it was great.

00:22:14.298 --> 00:22:15.167
I mean, my,

00:22:15.617 --> 00:22:17.178
and you're, where are you at

00:22:17.208 --> 00:22:18.347
in Colorado Springs?

00:22:18.347 --> 00:22:19.758
I was born and raised in Colorado Springs.

00:22:19.968 --> 00:22:20.057
Okay.

00:22:20.063 --> 00:22:20.113
Okay.

00:22:20.298 --> 00:22:23.357
And my grandpa, my mom's dad lived with us.

00:22:23.958 --> 00:22:26.508
His, uh, wife, my grandma had already passed away.

00:22:26.538 --> 00:22:26.807
Okay.

00:22:27.107 --> 00:22:28.907
And so he actually raised me, built in

00:22:28.907 --> 00:22:29.742
babysitter as well.

00:22:29.742 --> 00:22:30.593
He was amazing as well.

00:22:30.678 --> 00:22:30.857
Yeah.

00:22:30.917 --> 00:22:31.038
He

00:22:31.038 --> 00:22:32.327
was like the best babysitter.

00:22:32.417 --> 00:22:33.258
He was amazing.

00:22:33.258 --> 00:22:34.337
I just adored him.

00:22:34.337 --> 00:22:35.807
Grandparents are so important.

00:22:35.867 --> 00:22:41.688
My mom's dad, uh, was Grandpa Marvin, and he like mowed our lawn, uh Oh wow.

00:22:41.688 --> 00:22:42.768
For my younger years.

00:22:42.768 --> 00:22:44.478
Drove our garden tractor around and stuff.

00:22:44.928 --> 00:22:46.367
And so much more than that.

00:22:46.367 --> 00:22:50.807
He, he was like,'cause my dad had a full-time job Right.

00:22:50.807 --> 00:22:54.948
And was starting a farm evenings and weekends and so just.

00:22:55.907 --> 00:23:00.827
You know, he, he, he, he was a good dad and there wasn't a lot of him, extra des spare.

00:23:00.827 --> 00:23:04.968
And so grandpa was that extra, uh, male influence in my life.

00:23:05.117 --> 00:23:08.538
Uh, so yes, agreed on the grandparents being important.

00:23:08.958 --> 00:23:09.528
Oh my gosh.

00:23:09.678 --> 00:23:11.357
It was like my best friend.

00:23:11.357 --> 00:23:12.678
He was my protector.

00:23:12.678 --> 00:23:12.887
Yeah.

00:23:13.127 --> 00:23:16.458
He taught me the ABCs, you know how to tie my shoes.

00:23:16.458 --> 00:23:16.577
Awesome.

00:23:16.577 --> 00:23:17.988
You know, he got me ready for school.

00:23:17.988 --> 00:23:19.817
My mom worked outside of the home.

00:23:19.998 --> 00:23:20.837
Both my parents did.

00:23:20.982 --> 00:23:22.482
Was he fluent English?

00:23:22.712 --> 00:23:23.202
English?

00:23:23.202 --> 00:23:23.522
Mm-hmm.

00:23:23.603 --> 00:23:24.228
It was okay.

00:23:24.587 --> 00:23:25.667
I mean, they spoke Spanish.

00:23:25.667 --> 00:23:28.127
The adults, like my grandpa and my parents would speak Spanish.

00:23:28.157 --> 00:23:28.188
Okay.

00:23:28.873 --> 00:23:33.823
But they wouldn't teach us as kids because my mom was ridiculed when she was little.

00:23:33.823 --> 00:23:33.883
Yeah.

00:23:33.883 --> 00:23:34.992
When she was going to school.

00:23:34.992 --> 00:23:39.762
Spanish was her first language and when she went to school they made fun of her'cause she wasn't fluent in English.

00:23:39.762 --> 00:23:42.163
There was a lot of societal pressure in those days.

00:23:42.192 --> 00:23:42.942
Absolutely.

00:23:43.393 --> 00:23:44.323
Um, yes.

00:23:44.383 --> 00:23:45.553
In families and whatever.

00:23:45.732 --> 00:23:47.113
And what was the setting like?

00:23:47.863 --> 00:23:50.173
Your brothers are all older and how much older?

00:23:50.442 --> 00:23:53.923
So, um, I'm the baby and so the next brother is Greg.

00:23:53.923 --> 00:23:55.242
He's four years older than me.

00:23:55.633 --> 00:23:56.952
The next one is nine.

00:23:57.012 --> 00:24:00.073
Arnold or Stasio, his friend would call him six years older.

00:24:00.077 --> 00:24:00.367
Alright.

00:24:00.492 --> 00:24:00.643
And

00:24:00.643 --> 00:24:03.042
then the oldest I are 10 years difference.

00:24:03.042 --> 00:24:03.673
And that's Jeff.

00:24:03.792 --> 00:24:04.153
Okay.

00:24:04.212 --> 00:24:05.893
Very similar to my family actually.

00:24:05.893 --> 00:24:08.143
There's uh, also three boys and one girl.

00:24:08.143 --> 00:24:08.863
I'm the oldest.

00:24:09.042 --> 00:24:09.403
Okay.

00:24:09.403 --> 00:24:11.532
In ours, and my youngest brother is 10 years younger.

00:24:11.893 --> 00:24:12.282
Oh wow.

00:24:12.643 --> 00:24:12.673
Okay.

00:24:12.673 --> 00:24:14.083
Uh, so same kind of spread.

00:24:14.323 --> 00:24:16.212
And what were your folks like doing?

00:24:16.212 --> 00:24:19.692
What was the like socioeconomic setting and stuff?

00:24:19.752 --> 00:24:22.873
Yeah, so I mean, my mom worked for Hewlett Packard Okay.

00:24:22.873 --> 00:24:23.353
At the time.

00:24:23.353 --> 00:24:23.442
Yep.

00:24:23.472 --> 00:24:25.782
And my dad worked for King Soopers.

00:24:26.143 --> 00:24:26.292
Yep.

00:24:26.292 --> 00:24:26.893
He was a butcher.

00:24:26.893 --> 00:24:30.012
So I'm a butcher's daughter, so I know how to, A good cut of meat.

00:24:30.042 --> 00:24:30.222
That's

00:24:30.222 --> 00:24:31.242
awesome actually.

00:24:31.242 --> 00:24:31.452
That

00:24:31.722 --> 00:24:32.413
a good steak.

00:24:32.893 --> 00:24:35.292
I love like watching.

00:24:36.002 --> 00:24:36.782
Really good.

00:24:36.782 --> 00:24:39.032
Here's where your cuts of meat come from.

00:24:39.032 --> 00:24:40.772
Videos and how to make it work.

00:24:40.772 --> 00:24:41.133
Great.

00:24:41.553 --> 00:24:42.692
I was such a tomboy.

00:24:42.722 --> 00:24:46.442
'cause my dad would go hunting my brothers and they'd bring, they'd bring it back.

00:24:46.442 --> 00:24:47.792
The elk, the deer, what have you.

00:24:47.798 --> 00:24:47.807
Yeah.

00:24:47.883 --> 00:24:47.942
Yeah.

00:24:47.942 --> 00:24:49.952
And then we would actually help process it.

00:24:49.982 --> 00:24:51.303
You'd make sausage and everything too.

00:24:51.303 --> 00:24:51.333
Oh

00:24:51.333 --> 00:24:51.663
yeah.

00:24:51.722 --> 00:24:52.682
Sausage hamburger.

00:24:52.682 --> 00:24:52.863
I love it.

00:24:52.863 --> 00:24:54.333
Bacon jerky.

00:24:54.663 --> 00:24:56.012
We had a deer, but.

00:24:56.988 --> 00:25:01.607
Getting 45 pounds of deer is a lot different than getting 420 pounds of elk meat.

00:25:01.877 --> 00:25:02.298
Oh my gosh.

00:25:02.298 --> 00:25:02.597
It's just

00:25:02.597 --> 00:25:05.718
a lot, a lot more yield for your effort with a, with an elk.

00:25:05.988 --> 00:25:07.367
The process was amazing.

00:25:07.518 --> 00:25:13.698
It took all of us to process it, and then my dad would do it for other hunters too, you know, bring in extra money and stuff.

00:25:13.698 --> 00:25:14.208
And so, so a very

00:25:14.208 --> 00:25:15.917
industrious family, it sounds like.

00:25:15.917 --> 00:25:16.188
Absolutely.

00:25:16.337 --> 00:25:21.438
And, uh, and your mom had a pretty decent job with HP or at least pretty good benefits and stuff like that.

00:25:21.438 --> 00:25:23.988
So you were upper middle class, is it?

00:25:24.077 --> 00:25:24.647
I would say so,

00:25:24.647 --> 00:25:26.958
probably, or, yeah, middle, upper.

00:25:26.958 --> 00:25:27.978
Anyway, I say middle, you

00:25:27.978 --> 00:25:30.198
know, and because there were so many of us Right.

00:25:30.198 --> 00:25:30.327
You know.

00:25:30.708 --> 00:25:30.978
Right.

00:25:30.978 --> 00:25:31.938
A lot of mouse to feed.

00:25:31.938 --> 00:25:32.377
It's a lot of mouse.

00:25:32.377 --> 00:25:32.397
A lot

00:25:32.397 --> 00:25:35.057
teenage boys to feed in the coming years.

00:25:35.178 --> 00:25:35.508
Absolutely.

00:25:35.508 --> 00:25:39.857
And, and what was little Rebecca like in, uh, like tomboy?

00:25:39.857 --> 00:25:40.518
You said?

00:25:40.873 --> 00:25:41.272
Complete tomboy.

00:25:41.272 --> 00:25:42.077
A good student, uh.

00:25:42.823 --> 00:25:43.123
Oh yeah.

00:25:43.123 --> 00:25:44.458
I was the good students with, with all the boys

00:25:44.458 --> 00:25:45.583
beating'em in soccer.

00:25:46.393 --> 00:25:47.383
Well, I had three older brothers.

00:25:47.383 --> 00:25:47.563
Right.

00:25:47.563 --> 00:25:49.063
And so they were always in mayhem.

00:25:49.063 --> 00:25:49.123
Yeah.

00:25:49.123 --> 00:25:52.423
So my parents were focused on them because they would get in and outta trouble.

00:25:52.512 --> 00:25:52.813
Right.

00:25:52.962 --> 00:25:53.653
And so if you stayed

00:25:53.738 --> 00:25:55.482
quiet, you could pretty much do whatever you wanted.

00:25:55.722 --> 00:25:56.083
Yes.

00:25:56.083 --> 00:25:58.932
So I was like kind of, you know, unseen, unheard.

00:25:58.932 --> 00:26:00.762
And so my grandpa basically raised me.

00:26:00.762 --> 00:26:00.853
Mm-hmm.

00:26:01.272 --> 00:26:02.682
Even though we're all in the same household.

00:26:02.682 --> 00:26:02.772
Sure.

00:26:02.772 --> 00:26:05.202
It's like we had different, different parents kind of thing.

00:26:05.202 --> 00:26:05.353
Sure.

00:26:05.353 --> 00:26:11.173
And so I was like, you know, a student, I did all the right things, you know, I didn't wanna get in trouble.

00:26:11.472 --> 00:26:15.012
I figured they had their hands full with my brothers, so I didn't wanna add to it.

00:26:15.012 --> 00:26:15.103
You're

00:26:15.192 --> 00:26:16.482
very responsible, sounds like.

00:26:16.573 --> 00:26:17.113
Exactly.

00:26:17.113 --> 00:26:17.173
Um.

00:26:18.242 --> 00:26:19.923
Any sports activities?

00:26:19.923 --> 00:26:20.883
Newsletter?

00:26:20.972 --> 00:26:22.262
I did tennis.

00:26:22.413 --> 00:26:23.192
Oh, okay.

00:26:23.192 --> 00:26:28.413
So yeah, in, in high school I was, you know, one of the tennis players and then I did the activities.

00:26:28.413 --> 00:26:31.653
So I was on student council, uh, women's choir.

00:26:32.192 --> 00:26:34.712
I would do the multicultural kind of things.

00:26:34.833 --> 00:26:34.893
Yeah.

00:26:35.103 --> 00:26:35.472
That kind of thing.

00:26:35.627 --> 00:26:36.123
So, yeah.

00:26:36.123 --> 00:26:38.823
And like were your brothers like getting into trouble with themselves?

00:26:39.212 --> 00:26:40.288
They would, by that time

00:26:40.593 --> 00:26:41.942
they were always in trouble a little bit.

00:26:41.942 --> 00:26:47.623
But you mentioned that, you know, by the time your early career, they, they, they suicided themselves or whatever and so, so

00:26:47.623 --> 00:26:47.792
I, yeah.

00:26:47.792 --> 00:26:58.383
I was in my twenties and so I think, and I didn't realize this until later, but my oldest brother, Jeff, he had actually been trying to complete suicides and he was 19 and I didn't know it went back that far.

00:26:58.413 --> 00:27:01.053
'cause I had been there through some of them.

00:27:01.053 --> 00:27:01.413
Right.

00:27:01.413 --> 00:27:10.143
And I remember that was the one thing I'll never forget because I was the first person at the hospital and when he came through, he saw me and he grabbed my arm and he was so angry.

00:27:10.607 --> 00:27:11.928
And he grabbed my arm so tight.

00:27:11.928 --> 00:27:12.857
I thought he was gonna break my arm.

00:27:12.857 --> 00:27:14.597
And he's like, why won't you let me go?

00:27:14.718 --> 00:27:15.827
Just let me go.

00:27:15.978 --> 00:27:16.248
Hmm.

00:27:16.518 --> 00:27:20.928
And he was so frustrated because, you know, someone would find him and they would call right away and they would save him.

00:27:20.928 --> 00:27:21.948
And he was so frustrated.

00:27:21.978 --> 00:27:25.008
'cause like, no, I, I just wanna go, like, quit trying to help me.

00:27:25.428 --> 00:27:25.518
Hmm.

00:27:25.548 --> 00:27:27.617
And, you know, I'll never forget that face.

00:27:27.617 --> 00:27:32.597
And I remember and making a pact with him, you know, if you do it, then I'm gonna do it.

00:27:32.897 --> 00:27:37.127
And then unbeknownst to me, my mom also made a pact with him, and then his oldest daughter did.

00:27:37.127 --> 00:27:39.798
So three of us women made a pact with him.

00:27:39.798 --> 00:27:41.208
If he did it, we are gonna do it.

00:27:41.688 --> 00:27:43.577
And then he ultimately still did it anyway.

00:27:43.758 --> 00:27:45.018
And hopefully nobody else did it.

00:27:45.198 --> 00:27:45.498
No.

00:27:45.498 --> 00:27:46.488
In solidarity.

00:27:46.488 --> 00:27:46.788
No.

00:27:46.817 --> 00:27:47.357
No, we didn't.

00:27:47.357 --> 00:27:47.508
You were

00:27:47.508 --> 00:27:50.387
trying to prevent him from doing it by, by doing that.

00:27:51.212 --> 00:27:52.143
He just still couldn't.

00:27:52.202 --> 00:27:57.873
And he still, I just, you know, and that's the thing, doing what I do now is a rabbi transformational therapist.

00:27:57.873 --> 00:27:59.702
I know the root cause of that.

00:27:59.702 --> 00:28:05.613
'cause I actually, you know, I had, you know, dark Knight of the Soul later after your, after they'd all passed.

00:28:05.613 --> 00:28:05.913
Right.

00:28:05.913 --> 00:28:08.252
So, and that's, you know, I'm not enough.

00:28:08.282 --> 00:28:08.942
I'm not worthy.

00:28:09.423 --> 00:28:09.512
Sure.

00:28:09.512 --> 00:28:10.413
I'm not lovable.

00:28:10.502 --> 00:28:11.583
It's not available to me.

00:28:11.647 --> 00:28:18.722
If, if I was lovable enough, he would've not done that for me or whatever.

00:28:18.903 --> 00:28:20.617
Well, all three of them, that's the thing.

00:28:21.198 --> 00:28:25.202
All three of, when it makes, it makes sense because when they did it, they were out of a job.

00:28:25.653 --> 00:28:29.042
They didn't have a profession anymore because they had had injuries.

00:28:29.042 --> 00:28:30.377
So they couldn't go back and do what they wanted, wanted to.

00:28:30.377 --> 00:28:30.978
So was kind of a

00:28:30.978 --> 00:28:33.258
depressive scene, if you will.

00:28:33.262 --> 00:28:33.633
Yes.

00:28:33.962 --> 00:28:34.353
Yes.

00:28:34.353 --> 00:28:38.373
And you know, they didn't have, you know, a good relationship or it was on the rocks.

00:28:38.492 --> 00:28:38.553
Yeah.

00:28:38.553 --> 00:28:42.962
It was rocky and they felt like their life was done, like I'm done, but on service they

00:28:42.962 --> 00:28:48.932
had this big family and stuff and, you know, raised in the upper middle class environment and whatever else.

00:28:49.532 --> 00:28:53.127
I wanna jump back to your story before we get sidetracked by the mm-hmm.

00:28:53.327 --> 00:28:55.923
Kind of the trauma of this moment, but, so you.

00:28:56.883 --> 00:29:02.012
Go off to college and study psychology working toward, or maybe psychology, something else.

00:29:02.042 --> 00:29:02.282
Yeah.

00:29:02.282 --> 00:29:03.212
So I was psychology.

00:29:03.212 --> 00:29:05.462
I was, I'm the first generation college graduate.

00:29:05.583 --> 00:29:05.762
Yeah.

00:29:05.823 --> 00:29:06.692
I'm the oddball.

00:29:06.692 --> 00:29:15.182
So like outta my family, I'm like the black sheep of the family on the opposite side because you know, my parents, they, they were all came from working class.

00:29:15.423 --> 00:29:15.542
Yeah.

00:29:15.573 --> 00:29:16.442
You know, which is fine.

00:29:16.472 --> 00:29:16.563
Yeah.

00:29:16.563 --> 00:29:17.073
Which is great.

00:29:17.073 --> 00:29:19.803
But I was just, the Andre one, I always wanted to do something different.

00:29:20.373 --> 00:29:22.202
Just be outside of the box kind of thing.

00:29:22.202 --> 00:29:22.647
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:22.653 --> 00:29:26.522
Um, and you know, my parents were, you know, this is the hands you've been dealt.

00:29:26.522 --> 00:29:27.722
Just enjoy it.

00:29:27.722 --> 00:29:28.563
Just deal with it.

00:29:28.563 --> 00:29:28.623
Yeah.

00:29:28.623 --> 00:29:30.272
And I'm just like, Nope, I don't think so.

00:29:30.272 --> 00:29:30.448
You can get a

00:29:30.448 --> 00:29:32.522
good job at King Sos and Yeah.

00:29:32.522 --> 00:29:33.722
And there's nothing wrong with that.

00:29:33.722 --> 00:29:34.143
Whatever.

00:29:34.143 --> 00:29:34.647
Yeah, it's fine.

00:29:34.647 --> 00:29:35.252
It provided

00:29:35.252 --> 00:29:35.942
for a family.

00:29:36.032 --> 00:29:36.123
Sure.

00:29:36.123 --> 00:29:37.593
And you know, it did, it did fine.

00:29:38.042 --> 00:29:41.103
But I always just wanted something different, you know, I just wanted like.

00:29:41.462 --> 00:29:43.712
I just wanted to explore more and be more.

00:29:43.718 --> 00:29:43.907
Yeah.

00:29:44.073 --> 00:29:45.752
And nothing against what they did.

00:29:45.752 --> 00:29:46.623
They did an amazing job.

00:29:46.623 --> 00:29:46.712
Sure.

00:29:46.712 --> 00:29:49.323
With what they had generations before I did the same thing.

00:29:49.742 --> 00:29:53.823
Um, but I wanted to go to school because when I was in school, I was a good student.

00:29:53.823 --> 00:29:56.553
And all my peers, you know, I was competing with my peers.

00:29:56.823 --> 00:29:58.053
They were all going to college.

00:29:58.057 --> 00:29:58.067
Yeah.

00:29:58.323 --> 00:29:58.442
Yeah.

00:29:58.448 --> 00:30:00.512
And, and you know, my mind, they can go to college.

00:30:00.512 --> 00:30:01.532
Well, I can go to college.

00:30:01.538 --> 00:30:01.708
Yeah.

00:30:01.712 --> 00:30:01.893
Yeah.

00:30:01.893 --> 00:30:05.492
You know, and I'm just gonna get a scholarship or I'm just gonna work for it, which I did.

00:30:05.492 --> 00:30:09.387
I had a scholarship the first three years, and then I just worked my way through it and were

00:30:09.387 --> 00:30:10.623
Did you move away for school?

00:30:10.893 --> 00:30:12.393
I went to Wyoming in Laramie.

00:30:12.393 --> 00:30:12.512
Okay.

00:30:12.512 --> 00:30:13.712
Yeah, you mentioned that earlier.

00:30:13.712 --> 00:30:14.492
So yes.

00:30:14.492 --> 00:30:15.907
Not too far away, not too far away.

00:30:15.913 --> 00:30:19.383
Didn't get home to Colorado Springs in four hours or so.

00:30:19.952 --> 00:30:20.188
It wasn't bad.

00:30:20.188 --> 00:30:20.948
Less three hours than that.

00:30:20.948 --> 00:30:21.347
Less of the

00:30:21.347 --> 00:30:21.788
time probably.

00:30:21.857 --> 00:30:22.147
Yeah.

00:30:22.147 --> 00:30:22.827
Without the traffic.

00:30:23.228 --> 00:30:23.387
Right.

00:30:23.498 --> 00:30:24.573
Like nowadays, right?

00:30:24.573 --> 00:30:24.813
Yeah.

00:30:24.813 --> 00:30:25.682
Four hours now.

00:30:25.682 --> 00:30:26.702
Three hours then.

00:30:27.242 --> 00:30:27.603
Exactly.

00:30:27.603 --> 00:30:27.692
Oh,

00:30:27.692 --> 00:30:28.383
what was it like?

00:30:28.472 --> 00:30:34.173
Uh, actually it's not, it's a lot more windy and cold.

00:30:34.173 --> 00:30:34.353
Oh my gosh.

00:30:34.353 --> 00:30:35.042
In Laramie, yes.

00:30:35.042 --> 00:30:37.532
But otherwise, uh, culturally it's not.

00:30:37.863 --> 00:30:39.603
Probably too far off.

00:30:39.603 --> 00:30:39.992
I don't know.

00:30:39.992 --> 00:30:40.682
What was that like?

00:30:40.772 --> 00:30:41.522
It was different.

00:30:41.522 --> 00:30:43.847
And actually I got married before I went to, oh wow.

00:30:44.008 --> 00:30:44.913
I got married at 20.

00:30:45.153 --> 00:30:45.423
Okay.

00:30:45.452 --> 00:30:46.833
And was, you know, high school sweetheart.

00:30:46.833 --> 00:30:47.702
He was 19.

00:30:47.702 --> 00:30:48.692
I just turned 20.

00:30:48.932 --> 00:30:50.732
We got married and went to Wyoming.

00:30:50.732 --> 00:30:52.202
We had in-state tuition.

00:30:52.262 --> 00:30:52.593
Yeah.

00:30:52.653 --> 00:30:55.413
Because his parents graduated from University of Wyoming.

00:30:55.413 --> 00:30:56.432
So we got in-state tuition.

00:30:56.432 --> 00:30:56.883
So he was

00:30:56.883 --> 00:30:58.863
your ticket to, uh, in-state tuition?

00:30:58.923 --> 00:30:59.492
Exactly.

00:31:00.542 --> 00:31:01.232
And what's his name?

00:31:01.742 --> 00:31:03.272
Or is are you not married anymore?

00:31:03.272 --> 00:31:03.692
We're not married anymore, no.

00:31:03.992 --> 00:31:05.462
Well, it, it doesn't really matter.

00:31:05.613 --> 00:31:06.167
We were for 10 years.

00:31:06.478 --> 00:31:07.018
Okay, that's cool then.

00:31:07.018 --> 00:31:07.292
And then we

00:31:07.292 --> 00:31:07.803
separated.

00:31:07.803 --> 00:31:10.893
But going to Wyoming was, it was such a culture shock to me.

00:31:10.893 --> 00:31:15.452
'cause because one, it was so windy and it was like tumbleweeds everywhere.

00:31:15.482 --> 00:31:15.573
Right.

00:31:15.962 --> 00:31:18.932
And we were so poor'cause we were both putting ourselves through school.

00:31:18.932 --> 00:31:19.022
Mm-hmm.

00:31:19.623 --> 00:31:24.542
And, but the beautiful part is we were in married housing, so we had other couples.

00:31:25.262 --> 00:31:33.633
And so we would come community there come we would combine, you know, food like, hey, we have some hamburger and the neighbors would, I got fruit, you know, or I got veggies and we'd make something, right?

00:31:33.722 --> 00:31:33.932
Yeah.

00:31:33.992 --> 00:31:40.772
So it was a good community that way, which was great'cause we're all working part-time jobs and going to school and that kind of thing.

00:31:40.772 --> 00:31:41.192
So,

00:31:41.462 --> 00:31:43.682
and then you graduated and get right into the field.

00:31:43.682 --> 00:31:46.262
Private practice kind of therapy stuff or,

00:31:46.323 --> 00:31:57.393
so yeah, I graduated and actually when I graduated, we were in Nebraska at the time'cause the then husband had a, had a job at the parochial school in Nebraska, North Carolina, Nebraska.

00:31:57.423 --> 00:31:58.173
Oh, parochial school.

00:31:58.353 --> 00:31:58.978
So he was.

00:31:59.643 --> 00:32:01.563
He was, is that when you're trying to become a preacher?

00:32:01.593 --> 00:32:02.192
He was a,

00:32:02.192 --> 00:32:04.772
he was a Catholic, uh, he was a math teacher

00:32:05.853 --> 00:32:05.942
for the Oh, okay.

00:32:05.942 --> 00:32:06.542
A Catholic school.

00:32:06.542 --> 00:32:07.502
For a Catholic school.

00:32:07.502 --> 00:32:07.593
Right.

00:32:07.593 --> 00:32:07.653
Yeah.

00:32:07.653 --> 00:32:09.962
I couldn't quite remember what parochial means, but yeah.

00:32:10.022 --> 00:32:10.383
Got it.

00:32:10.472 --> 00:32:10.772
Right.

00:32:10.772 --> 00:32:11.373
And then I was

00:32:11.373 --> 00:32:13.827
a religious ed director for the Catholic church.

00:32:13.833 --> 00:32:14.222
Interesting.

00:32:14.462 --> 00:32:17.262
And that's your, was that your background historically as well then?

00:32:17.673 --> 00:32:19.502
I, I'm born and raised, raised Catholic.

00:32:19.502 --> 00:32:19.532
Okay.

00:32:19.712 --> 00:32:20.103
But

00:32:20.343 --> 00:32:24.093
I couldn't get the degree, I couldn't get the job at the time for my degree.

00:32:24.093 --> 00:32:26.133
So like I'll just work for the church.

00:32:26.163 --> 00:32:26.462
Gotcha.

00:32:26.492 --> 00:32:27.212
So, yeah.

00:32:27.212 --> 00:32:27.222
Yeah.

00:32:27.272 --> 00:32:36.512
And being married Hispanic, I always like our focus, you know, at the time was, you know, support the husband, whatever he wants to do because that ultimately he'll be benefiting the whole family.

00:32:36.512 --> 00:32:36.573
Yeah.

00:32:36.603 --> 00:32:40.833
So I kind of forwent my, my goals to pursue my education.

00:32:40.893 --> 00:32:41.073
Yeah.

00:32:41.133 --> 00:32:45.962
To support him for his, and I was still doing great, you know, I was still a provider as well.

00:32:45.962 --> 00:32:46.022
Yeah.

00:32:46.022 --> 00:32:47.432
We both worked a hundred percent.

00:32:47.673 --> 00:32:48.992
And what town in Nebraska?

00:32:49.083 --> 00:32:49.653
North Platte.

00:32:50.403 --> 00:32:50.762
Okay.

00:32:51.452 --> 00:32:53.042
Interesting kind of place to be.

00:32:53.042 --> 00:32:55.502
Uh, not sure it's better than Laramie.

00:32:55.502 --> 00:32:56.252
Probably not.

00:32:56.373 --> 00:32:58.428
It was a culture shock too, because, uh.

00:32:59.222 --> 00:33:04.202
For me, you know, the first day of of my job, I was outside the church greeting people.

00:33:04.202 --> 00:33:06.633
And you know, they said to me, who do you belong to?

00:33:06.633 --> 00:33:08.942
And I thought, I don't belong to anybody.

00:33:08.942 --> 00:33:09.633
What do you mean?

00:33:10.143 --> 00:33:12.303
And they said, well, do you have family here?

00:33:12.303 --> 00:33:12.903
And I said, no.

00:33:12.903 --> 00:33:14.073
Like, well, you don't belong here.

00:33:14.972 --> 00:33:15.212
Oh.

00:33:15.452 --> 00:33:18.633
So that was, that was initiation the first day.

00:33:18.873 --> 00:33:19.982
Interesting.

00:33:20.403 --> 00:33:24.333
Um, but it was interesting because I actually worked with a family with three generations.

00:33:24.333 --> 00:33:27.512
I worked with a granddaughter, the daughter and the grandma.

00:33:27.692 --> 00:33:27.843
Okay.

00:33:27.843 --> 00:33:29.133
For the different things that I did there.

00:33:29.163 --> 00:33:35.373
'cause I worked for the church, I worked for, um, the school system and then also a nonprofit at the time.

00:33:35.373 --> 00:33:39.962
So it was interesting to work with three different women in the same family.

00:33:39.992 --> 00:33:40.232
Yeah.

00:33:40.232 --> 00:33:43.083
I can only imagine broad based experience.

00:33:43.083 --> 00:33:45.212
And did you guys have children in those?

00:33:45.272 --> 00:33:45.393
No.

00:33:45.393 --> 00:33:45.903
Early marriage.

00:33:45.903 --> 00:33:46.623
You don't have kids now?

00:33:46.712 --> 00:33:46.772
No.

00:33:46.772 --> 00:33:47.192
Still.

00:33:47.643 --> 00:33:52.292
Um, and so like, take me to the next kind of pivotal chapter.

00:33:52.292 --> 00:33:54.452
It seems like it's gotta be coming up close when you're

00:33:54.573 --> 00:33:54.992
Yes.

00:33:54.992 --> 00:33:56.613
So graduated and then.

00:33:57.167 --> 00:34:01.307
Was in Nebraska, you know, uh, starting our careers.

00:34:01.307 --> 00:34:04.637
We both graduated college and then we just decided it's not gonna work.

00:34:04.698 --> 00:34:06.107
We just kind of grew apart.

00:34:06.528 --> 00:34:07.938
So then we separated.

00:34:07.938 --> 00:34:09.137
I moved back to Colorado.

00:34:09.797 --> 00:34:11.447
He moved back to Colorado at the time too.

00:34:11.478 --> 00:34:17.898
Then we got divorced and, and then I just started doing, you know, other work, you know, other work.

00:34:17.898 --> 00:34:22.097
At the time I worked for, um, a MI, at the time it was for

00:34:22.518 --> 00:34:24.018
Oh, you were a corporate trainer or something?

00:34:24.197 --> 00:34:24.797
I was, yeah.

00:34:24.797 --> 00:34:26.177
So I was a corporate trainer as well.

00:34:26.177 --> 00:34:28.068
So, yeah, so that was interesting.

00:34:28.068 --> 00:34:33.978
And then, um, we got divorced and then my moved to Florida with a.

00:34:34.487 --> 00:34:37.068
A guy I met who was also going through divorce at the time.

00:34:37.398 --> 00:34:37.487
Okay.

00:34:37.577 --> 00:34:38.568
Like trauma bonding.

00:34:38.568 --> 00:34:39.378
Don't recommend that.

00:34:39.467 --> 00:34:39.827
Don't do

00:34:39.827 --> 00:34:40.217
that.

00:34:40.217 --> 00:34:44.358
This was your, uh, uh, a midlife crisis kind of time.

00:34:44.358 --> 00:34:44.568
Early.

00:34:44.568 --> 00:34:44.898
Exactly.

00:34:44.898 --> 00:34:46.038
Early midlife crisis.

00:34:46.128 --> 00:34:46.728
Exactly.

00:34:46.728 --> 00:34:50.297
So, uh, then fiance, we moved to Florida.

00:34:50.297 --> 00:34:51.617
His mom was out there by herself.

00:34:51.617 --> 00:34:52.697
That's why we moved to Florida.

00:34:53.177 --> 00:34:56.777
And when we were out there, that's when my brother Jeff completed suicide.

00:34:56.927 --> 00:34:57.047
Mm.

00:34:57.228 --> 00:34:58.248
And I was just devastated.

00:34:58.248 --> 00:34:59.608
Was he the oldest or the youngest?

00:34:59.608 --> 00:34:59.802
He's the oldest.

00:34:59.802 --> 00:35:00.202
Oldest.

00:35:00.467 --> 00:35:02.568
And I was just heartbroken.

00:35:02.568 --> 00:35:04.097
So I didn't get to see him before we left.

00:35:04.487 --> 00:35:07.998
We were supposed to have dinner with him before we moved to Florida.

00:35:07.998 --> 00:35:11.958
And he got in a, a argument with his wife and then he just left.

00:35:12.318 --> 00:35:13.307
And then we moved.

00:35:13.307 --> 00:35:15.978
So I never got to see him before he passed.

00:35:15.978 --> 00:35:21.108
And then, um, my sister-in-law passed and then my second brother Greg passed.

00:35:21.108 --> 00:35:23.148
So they were like right back to back.

00:35:23.152 --> 00:35:23.762
The three of them.

00:35:23.762 --> 00:35:24.362
All by suicide?

00:35:24.663 --> 00:35:25.443
No sister-in-law.

00:35:25.447 --> 00:35:26.958
The brothers were suicide.

00:35:26.958 --> 00:35:28.077
The sister-in-law was not.

00:35:28.367 --> 00:35:28.668
Yeah.

00:35:29.478 --> 00:35:31.637
Um, like was there.

00:35:34.878 --> 00:35:36.137
Maybe it's none of my business.

00:35:36.137 --> 00:35:42.438
But was there like, like trauma in their past that they never did discover or that came

00:35:43.382 --> 00:35:43.682
on later?

00:35:43.722 --> 00:35:44.717
I think for Jeff, the oldest one.

00:35:44.807 --> 00:35:44.898
Yeah.

00:35:44.958 --> 00:35:48.318
Um, I think for him, the substance abuse for all three of them.

00:35:48.588 --> 00:35:48.617
Okay.

00:35:48.617 --> 00:35:49.637
They were all alcoholics.

00:35:49.668 --> 00:35:49.938
Okay.

00:35:50.057 --> 00:35:53.838
Uh, had done other drugs as well, and it was just a coping mechanism.

00:35:53.838 --> 00:35:55.338
Now what I know, what is that?

00:35:55.338 --> 00:35:59.927
Just an avoidance of real life kind of thing isn't avoid of dealing with it because they didn't have the skillset.

00:36:00.467 --> 00:36:05.208
And especially Hispanic, you don't see a counselor, you don't tell anybody what's happening.

00:36:05.208 --> 00:36:05.297
Right.

00:36:05.327 --> 00:36:05.922
You yeah.

00:36:06.137 --> 00:36:07.248
You, you shut it down.

00:36:07.248 --> 00:36:08.657
You don't even tell the family about it.

00:36:08.657 --> 00:36:08.748
Right.

00:36:08.748 --> 00:36:10.608
So all of that is an internalizing.

00:36:10.608 --> 00:36:14.177
So, and then for Jeff, he was doing that since he was 19.

00:36:14.807 --> 00:36:15.047
Yeah.

00:36:15.077 --> 00:36:16.818
So what the root cause was, I don't know.

00:36:17.148 --> 00:36:18.797
I mean, he never opened, none of them opened up.

00:36:18.842 --> 00:36:18.963
But those

00:36:18.963 --> 00:36:22.487
cultures also don't really have a higher rate of.

00:36:23.043 --> 00:36:25.592
Suicides or challenges and stuff.

00:36:25.592 --> 00:36:35.463
Then the cultures in, call it Seattle, where everybody goes to a counselor if they, you know, got offended by the Starbucks barista for some reason or whatever.

00:36:35.463 --> 00:36:37.983
I'm not saying it's a little bit exaggeration, but

00:36:38.253 --> 00:36:39.782
the family is, you know, the bond.

00:36:39.782 --> 00:36:40.382
Right, right.

00:36:40.382 --> 00:36:42.213
So they, they'll take care of their own kind of thing.

00:36:42.242 --> 00:36:42.393
Yeah.

00:36:42.932 --> 00:36:47.612
But I guess in, at least in their circumstance, they didn't feel comfortable gonna, anybody really, very well,

00:36:47.728 --> 00:36:49.262
they, they didn't wanna burden.

00:36:49.353 --> 00:36:49.472
Yeah.

00:36:49.472 --> 00:36:51.032
You know, the, the family kind of thing.

00:36:51.032 --> 00:36:51.092
Yeah.

00:36:51.182 --> 00:36:55.952
So, you know, like I said before, you know, when Jeff, when he did finally complete it, it was.

00:36:56.222 --> 00:36:57.063
He was rock bottom.

00:36:57.063 --> 00:36:58.262
Like he was like, I'm done.

00:36:58.322 --> 00:36:59.492
I'm not gonna do anything else.

00:36:59.492 --> 00:37:01.893
Like he, his dream was to be a chef.

00:37:01.893 --> 00:37:03.152
He just wanted a food truck.

00:37:03.152 --> 00:37:05.882
Like he wasn't a grandiose dream, just so he just wanted a food truck.

00:37:05.972 --> 00:37:07.592
He was so amazing.

00:37:07.592 --> 00:37:10.083
He was so gifted with what he did.

00:37:10.143 --> 00:37:16.382
He would wake up in the morning with a flavor in his mouth and by the end of the day he created it and it was so delicious.

00:37:16.382 --> 00:37:18.483
And we're like, oh my gosh, you should have a restaurant.

00:37:18.902 --> 00:37:22.802
And you know, a lot of times I wish I would've been the oldest and he would've been the youngest.

00:37:22.802 --> 00:37:27.213
So I could have supported him in his dream to do that because he was so talented.

00:37:27.213 --> 00:37:30.032
The things he would come up with was just amazing.

00:37:30.032 --> 00:37:30.813
It was just golden.

00:37:30.813 --> 00:37:31.083
Right.

00:37:31.083 --> 00:37:32.492
He just didn't have the backing

00:37:32.672 --> 00:37:32.972
Yeah.

00:37:33.032 --> 00:37:37.503
The person behind him to get him to fulfill that, that dream and that goal.

00:37:37.503 --> 00:37:39.813
Unfortunately the women in his life didn't do that.

00:37:40.413 --> 00:37:41.972
Um, my mom didn't know how to do that.

00:37:41.972 --> 00:37:42.992
My parents know how to do that.

00:37:43.052 --> 00:37:43.112
Yeah.

00:37:43.112 --> 00:37:47.043
And so he was just like, flailing, I love this, but how do I make it come to fruition?

00:37:47.043 --> 00:37:52.922
It's an interesting thing, uh, and you haven't quite said it, but it's a truth that I've observed the world and that.

00:37:53.972 --> 00:37:56.313
Like, some men are very self actuating.

00:37:56.313 --> 00:37:56.762
Mm-hmm.

00:37:57.257 --> 00:38:02.163
And others really require what, sometimes it's a spouse.

00:38:02.193 --> 00:38:02.282
Mm-hmm.

00:38:02.523 --> 00:38:07.322
Sometimes it's having kids and then they become really actuating, you know, they Right.

00:38:07.443 --> 00:38:16.262
Um, like I, I'm a, I'm a little bit of a whimsical guy, you know, I work hard, but not like the hardest, and part of it is because Jill and I don't have any kids, you know?

00:38:16.268 --> 00:38:16.277
Mm-hmm.

00:38:16.358 --> 00:38:20.117
Like, we don't have a ton of stuff for, to provide for, and I don't Right.

00:38:20.402 --> 00:38:28.202
I live modestly, it doesn't require a gigantic income, but if I had six ankle biters, you know, I'd probably work harder.

00:38:28.503 --> 00:38:28.802
Right.

00:38:28.802 --> 00:38:29.853
'cause you have a lot of mouth to feed.

00:38:30.032 --> 00:38:30.722
Exactly.

00:38:30.722 --> 00:38:31.862
And what's that motivation?

00:38:31.862 --> 00:38:35.012
And, and so different folks are motivated by different things.

00:38:35.012 --> 00:38:37.112
And anyway, I digress a little bit, but,

00:38:37.378 --> 00:38:38.432
but that makes sense.

00:38:38.432 --> 00:38:38.672
Right.

00:38:38.672 --> 00:38:41.943
And so, and you know, that's the thing too, is like he wasn't able to.

00:38:42.737 --> 00:38:44.447
Make money out of his dream.

00:38:44.507 --> 00:38:45.498
And when he would cook.

00:38:45.527 --> 00:38:45.588
Yeah.

00:38:45.588 --> 00:38:45.737
Right.

00:38:45.737 --> 00:38:49.967
And he would start to do, he would rent like a, a food truck for the festivals, that kind of thing.

00:38:49.967 --> 00:38:50.898
Like man, two Springs mm-hmm.

00:38:51.137 --> 00:38:53.507
And Ultra City and, you know, those kind of things.

00:38:53.507 --> 00:38:54.257
Which he loved.

00:38:54.257 --> 00:38:55.128
He absolutely loved it.

00:38:55.128 --> 00:39:01.217
But again, he didn't have somebody to support him through that and like do like the, that administrative part of that.

00:39:01.307 --> 00:39:02.237
Like, nobody likes that.

00:39:02.898 --> 00:39:02.987
Right.

00:39:02.987 --> 00:39:03.407
You know what I mean?

00:39:03.617 --> 00:39:03.947
Yeah.

00:39:04.038 --> 00:39:05.538
But he didn't have somebody to help him.

00:39:05.538 --> 00:39:09.288
He just wanted to do the cooking, which I get that, I wanna just do my part too.

00:39:09.288 --> 00:39:10.788
But there's the other piece of it.

00:39:10.793 --> 00:39:10.938
Right, right.

00:39:10.938 --> 00:39:11.117
Yeah.

00:39:11.117 --> 00:39:17.927
You try to, I mean, a little bit you're passing and like, you didn't find that, but also either you gotta find that or be that,

00:39:18.108 --> 00:39:18.708
or be that to

00:39:18.713 --> 00:39:19.452
some extent, figure it out.

00:39:19.518 --> 00:39:22.938
You never really gave himself to that effort too much.

00:39:22.938 --> 00:39:23.538
Sounds like.

00:39:23.958 --> 00:39:24.018
Yeah.

00:39:24.018 --> 00:39:31.427
So that, did that, that's what set off your, your journey into kind of new field of study or not for a while.

00:39:31.637 --> 00:39:35.657
So, not initially, because when he, when he passed, it was devastating.

00:39:35.657 --> 00:39:37.068
Like everybody's world.

00:39:37.068 --> 00:39:37.077
Yeah.

00:39:37.157 --> 00:39:37.788
Just stopped.

00:39:37.788 --> 00:39:38.057
Right.

00:39:38.057 --> 00:39:38.597
And so.

00:39:39.813 --> 00:39:45.242
You know, and I was in Florida at the time, so I came back for the funeral and then my, sorry about that bug on your That's okay.

00:39:45.242 --> 00:39:45.753
Microphone.

00:39:45.753 --> 00:39:46.742
I just don't wanna swallow it.

00:39:48.907 --> 00:39:49.347
I got one.

00:39:49.887 --> 00:39:50.708
He won't bother you.

00:39:50.728 --> 00:40:06.483
Um, and so then I came back for the funeral and then my other brother, Greg passed not too long ago that, and he was so devastated because Jeff, my oldest brother, was his protector, and here his protector was gone and then his wife died and she took care of everything and he was just lost.

00:40:06.483 --> 00:40:07.382
He didn't know what to do.

00:40:07.382 --> 00:40:09.152
He didn't have his protector brother anymore.

00:40:09.152 --> 00:40:10.382
His wife had passed.

00:40:10.592 --> 00:40:11.402
He didn't know what to do.

00:40:11.402 --> 00:40:12.152
Did they have kids?

00:40:12.302 --> 00:40:12.483
No.

00:40:12.483 --> 00:40:12.842
Kids.

00:40:12.992 --> 00:40:13.143
Okay.

00:40:13.802 --> 00:40:17.012
But I mean, so then even more sad story if he did.

00:40:17.193 --> 00:40:18.032
Well, Jeff did.

00:40:18.032 --> 00:40:19.112
Jeff had four kids.

00:40:19.112 --> 00:40:19.172
Yeah.

00:40:19.353 --> 00:40:19.398
Oh my.

00:40:19.568 --> 00:40:22.083
So yeah, he had two sons and two daughters.

00:40:22.652 --> 00:40:23.882
And that devastating.

00:40:24.063 --> 00:40:24.422
Sure.

00:40:24.512 --> 00:40:25.742
Um, yeah.

00:40:25.742 --> 00:40:29.583
The repercussions, the consequences major for, for those four especially.

00:40:30.123 --> 00:40:33.963
And then, and then Greg passed and then you, then there was the gap.

00:40:34.023 --> 00:40:38.702
And I moved back from Florida to Colorado because my parents were just devastated.

00:40:38.702 --> 00:40:39.753
Like, you have to come back.

00:40:39.753 --> 00:40:41.193
You have to, you're too far away.

00:40:41.222 --> 00:40:41.492
Yeah.

00:40:41.702 --> 00:40:44.398
So I did move back to, uh, from Florida, plus it turns

00:40:44.398 --> 00:40:46.143
out that dude was pretty douchey after all.

00:40:46.172 --> 00:40:46.532
Yeah.

00:40:46.532 --> 00:40:48.123
That, that was a good thing to move back.

00:40:48.753 --> 00:40:49.172
Sorry.

00:40:50.253 --> 00:40:50.402
Yeah.

00:40:50.402 --> 00:40:58.262
I was a toxic, you know, narcissistic alcoholic relationship to, you know, once I get through my things, like, oh yeah, that was a good thing to, that was 10 years.

00:40:58.262 --> 00:40:59.043
So that was plenty.

00:40:59.583 --> 00:41:00.842
Um, so I moved back.

00:41:00.842 --> 00:41:05.523
I was, worked for, uh, Avago Technologies, which is spinoff of hp.

00:41:05.643 --> 00:41:05.822
Okay.

00:41:05.822 --> 00:41:05.943
Yeah.

00:41:06.123 --> 00:41:14.043
So I came back as a manager and then I was working as, as, uh, I would do doc editing, and then I was their sole trainer.

00:41:14.043 --> 00:41:17.463
So then I became, you know, the training coordinator, that kind of thing.

00:41:17.463 --> 00:41:17.523
Yeah.

00:41:17.612 --> 00:41:24.362
So I was, that's where my heart and soul is anyway, is to teach people skills that they can do amazing things in the world.

00:41:24.362 --> 00:41:24.632
Right.

00:41:24.632 --> 00:41:26.822
So then they can be self-sufficient and that kind of thing.

00:41:26.853 --> 00:41:26.913
Yeah.

00:41:26.913 --> 00:41:32.103
So, um, that's what I was doing and then my other brother passed.

00:41:32.492 --> 00:41:35.072
Arnold or Stasio is his friend him.

00:41:35.193 --> 00:41:35.463
Yeah.

00:41:35.463 --> 00:41:35.472
Yeah.

00:41:35.612 --> 00:41:37.983
And he died in 2017.

00:41:37.983 --> 00:41:40.742
And so then after that my mom and my dad just kind of gave up.

00:41:40.773 --> 00:41:43.382
And so my mom died 19, my dad right after in 20.

00:41:44.012 --> 00:41:44.103
Wow.

00:41:44.132 --> 00:41:46.023
And then it was like full-blown COVID, right.

00:41:46.023 --> 00:41:46.893
20 passed.

00:41:47.193 --> 00:41:47.313
Yeah.

00:41:47.313 --> 00:41:48.902
It was just like, oh my gosh.

00:41:48.902 --> 00:41:51.197
Like my suddenly my entire family island died almost.

00:41:51.213 --> 00:41:53.402
And then I got laid off Okay.

00:41:53.402 --> 00:41:56.373
From my 17 year career that I thought was my forever home.

00:41:57.003 --> 00:42:02.012
Um, so my dad died and then I got laid off and the day of his funeral was my last day at the job.

00:42:02.882 --> 00:42:03.032
Hmm.

00:42:03.092 --> 00:42:04.262
And I was just devastated.

00:42:04.262 --> 00:42:06.693
I was like, oh my gosh, the world shut down.

00:42:07.382 --> 00:42:07.682
You know?

00:42:07.682 --> 00:42:12.213
I had no family, no career, no purpose, no boyfriend.

00:42:12.213 --> 00:42:14.193
And I was like, oh my God, I get it.

00:42:14.193 --> 00:42:14.373
Wow.

00:42:14.373 --> 00:42:14.838
What a lonely.

00:42:15.063 --> 00:42:15.813
I totally get it.

00:42:15.813 --> 00:42:16.398
And so time that

00:42:16.398 --> 00:42:16.878
had to have been,

00:42:17.012 --> 00:42:19.172
it was horrible because especially Were you living

00:42:19.172 --> 00:42:20.523
here in northern Colorado at the time?

00:42:20.643 --> 00:42:22.322
I was in Tim where I am now.

00:42:22.413 --> 00:42:22.443
Okay.

00:42:22.833 --> 00:42:25.713
Um, and I just remember like my dark night of the soul.

00:42:25.713 --> 00:42:28.353
There was one day, you know, I just buried my dad.

00:42:28.353 --> 00:42:29.492
Everything was done.

00:42:29.492 --> 00:42:30.483
I had no purpose.

00:42:30.483 --> 00:42:30.963
No.

00:42:31.023 --> 00:42:33.123
Uh, responsibility or anything.

00:42:33.123 --> 00:42:36.813
And I'm like, I didn't wanna be a, I didn't wanna be around either.

00:42:36.813 --> 00:42:37.623
Like, I totally get it.

00:42:37.623 --> 00:42:37.682
Yeah.

00:42:37.713 --> 00:42:42.452
So I went to the liquor store and I got a big thing of moonshine, cherry moonshine.

00:42:42.572 --> 00:42:43.413
I love cherries.

00:42:43.592 --> 00:42:45.063
I had never had moonshine before.

00:42:45.068 --> 00:42:45.257
Okay.

00:42:45.603 --> 00:42:47.822
And then Cherry fresh got like, Hmm, that sounds refreshing.

00:42:47.822 --> 00:42:48.722
It's summertime.

00:42:49.293 --> 00:42:55.742
You know, I made a nice, you know, Tumblr of it, drank it, and it was probably like 10 o'clock in the morning, completely passed out.

00:42:56.432 --> 00:42:58.983
And all the windows and doors are open.

00:42:58.983 --> 00:43:03.123
And I wake up, and the reason I wake up is because in my head, my mom is yelling at me.

00:43:03.452 --> 00:43:05.762
You know, Becky wake up, my dad, he thought, wake up.

00:43:05.762 --> 00:43:08.492
And then my grandpa, Becky, I had this really deep voice,

00:43:08.972 --> 00:43:09.123
and

00:43:09.123 --> 00:43:10.023
I'm like, what the hell?

00:43:10.023 --> 00:43:12.663
So I wake up and I'm like, why are these dead people screaming at me?

00:43:12.663 --> 00:43:12.992
Right?

00:43:12.992 --> 00:43:13.922
Like, boom, boom, boom.

00:43:13.922 --> 00:43:15.362
They've never done that before.

00:43:15.632 --> 00:43:18.422
And I wake up and it's pitch black in my house.

00:43:18.603 --> 00:43:24.693
The windows are all open, the doors are open, the breeze is coming in and dead people are screaming at me.

00:43:24.693 --> 00:43:27.032
And I'm like, oh my God, I totally get it.

00:43:27.152 --> 00:43:28.983
I totally get why my brothers did that.

00:43:29.163 --> 00:43:29.313
Hmm.

00:43:29.402 --> 00:43:30.483
I had no career.

00:43:31.023 --> 00:43:31.983
No purpose.

00:43:32.043 --> 00:43:32.313
Yeah.

00:43:32.373 --> 00:43:33.782
No job, no family.

00:43:33.782 --> 00:43:34.847
You were feeling about that place.

00:43:34.847 --> 00:43:35.193
No boyfriend.

00:43:35.643 --> 00:43:37.382
I was, and then the world shut down.

00:43:37.382 --> 00:43:39.273
So it was on that, on top of it.

00:43:39.273 --> 00:43:39.572
Right.

00:43:39.572 --> 00:43:48.123
And so I was devastated and I totally, now it's like, oh my gosh, I totally get why they did what they did and it was so compassion for them.

00:43:48.512 --> 00:43:48.572
Yeah.

00:43:48.572 --> 00:43:49.277
In that moment.

00:43:49.277 --> 00:43:49.322
Yeah.

00:43:49.413 --> 00:43:50.672
It's like, I totally get it.

00:43:50.822 --> 00:43:51.092
Yeah.

00:43:51.123 --> 00:43:52.208
I could do the same thing right now.

00:43:52.208 --> 00:43:52.487
Yeah.

00:43:52.503 --> 00:43:53.193
And who would care?

00:43:53.253 --> 00:43:53.313
Yeah.

00:43:53.313 --> 00:43:55.083
Like I have zero responsibilities.

00:43:55.353 --> 00:43:57.663
I just got let go from a 17 year career.

00:43:57.753 --> 00:43:58.713
Like I was nothing.

00:43:58.713 --> 00:44:00.663
And I built that, you know, whole training department.

00:44:01.262 --> 00:44:03.123
And I was like, wow, I could totally just do that now.

00:44:03.123 --> 00:44:06.572
It wouldn't even matter, but I'm too ornery, right?

00:44:06.579 --> 00:44:08.882
So I'm like, there's the nephews and nieces, right?

00:44:08.882 --> 00:44:14.253
So I was thinking, yeah, this story cannot end like that, where all the siblings complete suicide.

00:44:14.402 --> 00:44:16.143
Like that cannot be our story.

00:44:16.623 --> 00:44:19.773
And so I just dug deep and said, Nope, this ends with me.

00:44:20.253 --> 00:44:26.583
And so then I just, I just, you know, tossed all the alcohol I had down the drain and said, Nope, I'm gonna change this.

00:44:26.583 --> 00:44:27.072
I'm gonna make this.

00:44:27.072 --> 00:44:27.208
And you

00:44:27.208 --> 00:44:27.407
find a.

00:44:28.097 --> 00:44:31.367
Therapist or a counselor or something that helped you?

00:44:31.398 --> 00:44:32.117
It was COVID

00:44:32.327 --> 00:44:32.717
through,

00:44:32.927 --> 00:44:34.907
so I just actually went online.

00:44:34.938 --> 00:44:36.527
'cause everybody was online then, of course.

00:44:36.588 --> 00:44:36.918
Okay.

00:44:37.038 --> 00:44:38.297
Nobody was in person at the time.

00:44:38.297 --> 00:44:38.358
Yeah.

00:44:38.777 --> 00:44:43.458
And I went to back to school to be a rapid transformational therapist by Marissa Pier.

00:44:43.487 --> 00:44:45.858
'cause I had, I had taken some classes from her before.

00:44:45.858 --> 00:44:45.887
Okay.

00:44:46.577 --> 00:44:57.527
She's part of Mindvalley and I had met her in person and so I'm like, no, I'm gonna go back into the mental health field, but I'm gonna do it so you get to the root cause of it because that's ridiculous.

00:44:57.527 --> 00:44:59.177
Like this cannot happen anymore.

00:44:59.177 --> 00:45:01.338
And so I was gonna do the deep dive and I did.

00:45:01.757 --> 00:45:03.257
So then I went back to school.

00:45:03.438 --> 00:45:09.347
And so it took six months to be certified as a rapid transformational therapist and then another six months to be

00:45:10.128 --> 00:45:10.447
aless life coach.

00:45:10.447 --> 00:45:19.277
'cause of your prior experience and whatever, uh, work experience and probably even your corporate training time allow exactly for such a kind of a rapid.

00:45:20.117 --> 00:45:20.597
Yeah, it was

00:45:20.597 --> 00:45:22.217
advancement into that new area.

00:45:22.277 --> 00:45:23.117
It was so amazing.

00:45:23.117 --> 00:45:25.967
I was so blessed to have, it was basically global.

00:45:25.967 --> 00:45:30.527
All of us were from around the world being certified together at the same time.

00:45:30.527 --> 00:45:30.588
Hmm.

00:45:31.038 --> 00:45:43.338
And then, you know, before we graduated, we had a week intensive in person in la so we got to see some of our peers, or a hundred of us in person getting certified live with Marissa and her, her top team.

00:45:43.697 --> 00:45:44.838
And, you know, I was Does she have a

00:45:44.838 --> 00:45:46.277
book or something that we should, she's

00:45:46.277 --> 00:45:47.538
got, she's got lots of books.

00:45:47.568 --> 00:45:47.838
Okay.

00:45:48.047 --> 00:45:48.918
Um, and she's global.

00:45:48.918 --> 00:45:49.728
Marissa Pierre.

00:45:49.998 --> 00:45:50.117
Okay.

00:45:50.117 --> 00:45:51.498
Rapid transformational therapy.

00:45:51.702 --> 00:45:53.237
P-I-E-P-E-E-R.

00:45:53.327 --> 00:45:53.657
Okay.

00:45:53.807 --> 00:45:54.318
Just like that.

00:45:54.318 --> 00:45:54.407
And

00:45:54.407 --> 00:45:55.068
she's global.

00:45:55.072 --> 00:45:57.197
She's around the world.

00:45:57.677 --> 00:46:00.467
She's your, uh, inspiration in that space, if you will.

00:46:00.467 --> 00:46:00.737
Absolutely.

00:46:00.768 --> 00:46:03.918
And had she been so already before or was she

00:46:04.277 --> 00:46:05.987
I found her after my brother.

00:46:06.378 --> 00:46:07.128
Arm passed.

00:46:07.157 --> 00:46:07.188
Okay.

00:46:07.188 --> 00:46:08.447
So he was the last brother.

00:46:08.447 --> 00:46:11.538
And so I was like, I have to do something with this time.

00:46:11.538 --> 00:46:11.628
Right.

00:46:11.688 --> 00:46:12.737
That's productive.

00:46:12.797 --> 00:46:13.068
Yep.

00:46:13.128 --> 00:46:14.268
Because I didn't wanna fall down that path.

00:46:14.268 --> 00:46:14.387
Think.

00:46:15.018 --> 00:46:16.952
But you were still focused on your career and stuff at the time then?

00:46:16.952 --> 00:46:16.972
I was.

00:46:16.972 --> 00:46:17.447
Absolutely.

00:46:17.447 --> 00:46:18.168
It was in my career.

00:46:18.172 --> 00:46:18.793
Bing ba boom.

00:46:18.793 --> 00:46:21.347
And are you glad you got laid off?

00:46:23.418 --> 00:46:24.228
That's a good question.

00:46:24.288 --> 00:46:24.438
Yeah.

00:46:24.737 --> 00:46:25.938
Because I'm helping people.

00:46:25.938 --> 00:46:26.447
Yes.

00:46:26.807 --> 00:46:26.987
Yeah.

00:46:27.047 --> 00:46:29.027
Every day when I'm helping somebody.

00:46:29.478 --> 00:46:29.958
Absolutely.

00:46:29.958 --> 00:46:30.588
A thousand percent.

00:46:30.588 --> 00:46:31.038
Yes.

00:46:31.547 --> 00:46:35.688
Um, I would've rather it been my choice than to someone say, oh, here you go.

00:46:35.748 --> 00:46:35.898
Yeah.

00:46:35.898 --> 00:46:36.557
But would you have

00:46:37.878 --> 00:46:40.217
Eventually I would've because it was changing so much.

00:46:40.217 --> 00:46:40.228
Okay.

00:46:40.228 --> 00:46:40.487
You were already

00:46:40.487 --> 00:46:41.628
working toward that a little bit.

00:46:41.688 --> 00:46:42.797
It was changing so much.

00:46:42.797 --> 00:46:43.097
Right.

00:46:43.487 --> 00:46:49.157
I mean, the way I did training with my partner at the time, we did a lot of visual aids.

00:46:49.157 --> 00:46:53.358
We had a lot of fun teaching people, because when you're having fun, you learn fast.

00:46:53.418 --> 00:46:53.748
Yeah, right.

00:46:53.748 --> 00:46:54.557
Like little kids.

00:46:54.648 --> 00:46:54.827
True.

00:46:54.887 --> 00:46:56.927
The littles learn so quick because they're having fun.

00:46:56.958 --> 00:46:58.847
Well, we're like, adults have fun.

00:46:58.847 --> 00:46:59.478
They learn fast.

00:46:59.483 --> 00:46:59.842
Change the scene a

00:46:59.842 --> 00:46:59.922
little bit.

00:47:00.137 --> 00:47:00.557
Yeah.

00:47:00.677 --> 00:47:01.007
So we

00:47:01.007 --> 00:47:01.487
did that.

00:47:01.487 --> 00:47:01.757
Right.

00:47:01.757 --> 00:47:02.358
And so.

00:47:02.913 --> 00:47:04.563
Eventually, yes, I would've left.

00:47:04.893 --> 00:47:07.293
I would've liked to have done it on my terms, but not theirs.

00:47:07.503 --> 00:47:07.563
Yeah.

00:47:07.563 --> 00:47:08.253
But it caused you a lot of

00:47:08.487 --> 00:47:10.088
financial havoc and et cetera.

00:47:10.202 --> 00:47:10.713
I'm sure.

00:47:10.742 --> 00:47:13.293
I mean, luckily I had a severance package, so that was nice.

00:47:13.382 --> 00:47:13.413
Okay.

00:47:13.413 --> 00:47:16.563
So I had, I had the summer, I had a cushion for a while.

00:47:16.592 --> 00:47:16.802
Yeah.

00:47:17.012 --> 00:47:20.612
To figure things out and just, and then the start, the grieving process, right.

00:47:20.702 --> 00:47:27.992
Because I had six family members that were dead, like my grandpa who had raised me, my mom, my dad, and my three brothers.

00:47:27.992 --> 00:47:32.342
So I had, and I hadn't, you know, even started that grief process for any of them.

00:47:32.342 --> 00:47:32.402
Yeah.

00:47:32.432 --> 00:47:34.143
So it was just devastating.

00:47:34.472 --> 00:47:37.652
And then to lose the career on top of it, and then COVID.

00:47:37.682 --> 00:47:39.452
So it's like boom, boom, boom.

00:47:39.452 --> 00:47:41.583
Like, let's just, just just put more stuff on, right?

00:47:41.588 --> 00:47:41.788
Yeah.

00:47:41.788 --> 00:47:41.947
Yeah.

00:47:41.947 --> 00:47:45.753
Like I was, it was hard to breathe initially, so that, that summer was ugly.

00:47:45.753 --> 00:47:47.282
It was a dark summer, I'll put it that way.

00:47:47.338 --> 00:47:48.108
Yeah, I'm sure.

00:47:48.452 --> 00:47:48.842
Yeah.

00:47:49.322 --> 00:47:51.693
And you've had a lot of growth since then it seems.

00:47:51.693 --> 00:47:52.262
Exactly.

00:47:52.322 --> 00:47:52.862
Oh my gosh.

00:47:52.862 --> 00:47:53.733
So then, you know.

00:47:54.347 --> 00:47:59.643
When I initially went back to I, I initially went back to work and I was a manager for King Soopers.

00:47:59.853 --> 00:48:00.152
Okay.

00:48:00.242 --> 00:48:02.702
Um, and then I was a manager for Bobo's Bakery.

00:48:02.702 --> 00:48:04.983
And then I realized I don't wanna do that anymore.

00:48:04.983 --> 00:48:08.822
I wanna be, I don't wanna be responsible for people Yeah.

00:48:08.822 --> 00:48:10.862
Anymore, I want to help people.

00:48:10.983 --> 00:48:11.342
Right.

00:48:11.342 --> 00:48:12.873
So I'm gonna go back in the wellness field.

00:48:13.592 --> 00:48:40.713
So as a business groups kind of leader kind of guy in my local think tank role, I think about your business model as being, um, very useful, but also maybe challenging because if you're only meeting people for one to three sessions and then you're sending'em out the door, like you better charge a lot or be able to find them without spending too much money.

00:48:40.713 --> 00:48:47.282
Otherwise, you're gonna spend more money finding people that wanna be your customers than you are gonna be collecting from those short term customers.

00:48:48.422 --> 00:48:49.353
That's so true.

00:48:49.503 --> 00:48:52.083
Um, but it's still worth it to me because.

00:48:53.358 --> 00:48:53.967
That was a bug.

00:48:55.213 --> 00:48:57.242
Sorry, I just a, we've got a boxell bug

00:48:57.498 --> 00:49:02.088
invasion in the loco think tank, uh, region right now.

00:49:02.117 --> 00:49:02.657
That's so funny.

00:49:02.657 --> 00:49:08.748
Um, was when I went into it, I really wanted people to not suffer any longer than they already had.

00:49:08.838 --> 00:49:08.927
Yeah.

00:49:08.927 --> 00:49:10.788
Because of the experience with my brothers.

00:49:10.788 --> 00:49:11.027
Right.

00:49:11.027 --> 00:49:14.057
And I had two cousins that also had completed suicide before they did.

00:49:14.387 --> 00:49:14.447
Wow.

00:49:14.597 --> 00:49:16.668
So I was like, this has to stop.

00:49:16.668 --> 00:49:17.307
And so what, what a family

00:49:17.643 --> 00:49:18.563
heritage, what terrible.

00:49:18.563 --> 00:49:18.583
I know.

00:49:18.583 --> 00:49:18.918
And it's

00:49:18.918 --> 00:49:19.728
on both sides.

00:49:19.728 --> 00:49:21.197
My mom's side and my dad's side.

00:49:21.197 --> 00:49:29.327
And so, so for me going in a hundred percent was I wanna get people out of where their pain is as fast as possible for long term.

00:49:29.568 --> 00:49:31.307
So that was my a hundred percent my focus.

00:49:31.668 --> 00:49:35.597
And then once I've started to do that, now it's my fourth year and I'm like, wow, that's a lot of work.

00:49:35.748 --> 00:49:37.277
I mean, that was the design of it.

00:49:37.282 --> 00:49:37.483
Yeah.

00:49:37.518 --> 00:49:38.717
I want people out of Yep.

00:49:38.722 --> 00:49:38.882
Yep.

00:49:38.958 --> 00:49:40.878
You know, but now you're right.

00:49:41.148 --> 00:49:43.427
Now I'm always, where's my next client?

00:49:43.427 --> 00:49:43.728
Right.

00:49:43.728 --> 00:49:44.177
Kind of.

00:49:44.177 --> 00:49:44.568
Yeah.

00:49:44.568 --> 00:49:49.547
Um, I was thinking to myself that maybe advertising to existing therapists is almost.

00:49:50.012 --> 00:49:52.893
Like, Hey, let me help get your clients unstuck.

00:49:53.282 --> 00:49:53.702
Exactly.

00:49:53.702 --> 00:49:54.003
Just for a

00:49:54.003 --> 00:49:55.682
few sessions with her,'cause Absolutely.

00:49:55.682 --> 00:49:58.172
You can probably, I'm sure you can charge more.

00:49:58.172 --> 00:50:06.302
I mean, you got this two hour long hypnosis session and you're charging more than the typical, Hey, let's talk about your feelings for an hour.

00:50:06.543 --> 00:50:06.842
Right.

00:50:06.842 --> 00:50:10.353
But I see them one to three times, or they see them for months and years.

00:50:10.503 --> 00:50:10.713
Right.

00:50:10.713 --> 00:50:17.072
So it's different, but I am like really getting into the deep, you know, nitty gritty of it where they never even touch it.

00:50:17.132 --> 00:50:17.463
Right.

00:50:17.552 --> 00:50:21.213
So, I mean, price wise it's still not crazy.

00:50:21.768 --> 00:50:22.487
Expensive.

00:50:22.697 --> 00:50:22.938
Yeah.

00:50:22.998 --> 00:50:24.572
For what they, for what they get per

00:50:24.572 --> 00:50:24.773
hour.

00:50:24.773 --> 00:50:26.052
You don't even charge twice as much.

00:50:26.233 --> 00:50:26.452
No.

00:50:26.452 --> 00:50:28.637
Any, and hopefully you're moving'em a lot faster.

00:50:28.637 --> 00:50:30.467
Plus, and then I do a lot of research too.

00:50:30.467 --> 00:50:37.038
So I don't like my, my feed does not include the research that I put into it After the, after the session?

00:50:37.068 --> 00:50:37.277
Yeah.

00:50:37.338 --> 00:50:40.878
The two hour session, they get their personalized audio that's there's for a lifetime.

00:50:41.268 --> 00:50:44.807
I check in with them 48 hours after to make sure how are you doing?

00:50:44.807 --> 00:50:45.708
First and foremost.

00:50:45.708 --> 00:50:45.768
Yeah.

00:50:45.797 --> 00:50:50.027
How is the audio doing for you 10 days later and then 21 days later.

00:50:50.208 --> 00:50:53.208
So all of that is combined into their fee.

00:50:53.237 --> 00:50:56.358
And then after the 21 days, then we revisit.

00:50:56.943 --> 00:50:58.233
Would you like to work on something different?

00:50:58.233 --> 00:50:58.322
Mm-hmm.

00:50:58.742 --> 00:51:01.862
And if they choose to do so, then we go back in and we do another session.

00:51:01.922 --> 00:51:02.193
Mm.

00:51:02.253 --> 00:51:04.922
Or I also do emotional freedom technique.

00:51:05.072 --> 00:51:06.932
So that's been very powerful.

00:51:07.112 --> 00:51:07.503
Okay.

00:51:07.713 --> 00:51:14.193
Which is great to take people out of, you know, fight or flight mode, para, you know, sympathetic, put them back into parasympathetic.

00:51:14.222 --> 00:51:14.282
Okay.

00:51:14.282 --> 00:51:24.152
So that way they can rationalize that blood goes back into their prefrontal cortex, so then they can cognitively think through things, make good sound decisions, that kind of thing.

00:51:24.362 --> 00:51:31.382
So even folks that you help with your rapid transformation element or whatever, you might have some adjacent services.

00:51:31.443 --> 00:51:31.592
Yes.

00:51:31.592 --> 00:51:34.262
So they're not lost forever kind of thing, but Exactly.

00:51:34.322 --> 00:51:39.333
But it continues to be the case that you don't really wanna be the maintenance supervisor, you're more the breakthrough.

00:51:40.757 --> 00:51:42.137
Empower or whatever.

00:51:42.197 --> 00:51:42.797
Exactly.

00:51:42.797 --> 00:51:48.438
And so the beautiful part is something I, that's been on my heart for a couple years was creating a healing circle.

00:51:48.438 --> 00:51:52.637
Because once somebody starts the healing process, they wanna keep going.

00:51:52.757 --> 00:51:53.027
Right?

00:51:53.027 --> 00:51:54.407
And it's not gonna be all just me.

00:51:55.068 --> 00:51:59.688
So what I've done this year, I'm so proud to be a part of, I created a healing circle.

00:51:59.688 --> 00:52:03.498
So we started with, uh, a naturopathic doctor, Dr.

00:52:03.498 --> 00:52:04.338
Danny Dowling.

00:52:04.398 --> 00:52:05.327
We started with him.

00:52:05.657 --> 00:52:07.637
And then the cl, we had two clients go through this.

00:52:07.637 --> 00:52:10.217
And then the second person was Karen Cornick.

00:52:10.217 --> 00:52:12.677
She's uh, an RN and nutritionist.

00:52:12.947 --> 00:52:18.257
Then they saw me for rapid transformational therapy and they saw Derek Ivy for reiki.

00:52:18.858 --> 00:52:20.148
So they're cleansing things out.

00:52:20.148 --> 00:52:20.208
Yeah.

00:52:20.208 --> 00:52:22.967
And then they saw me again for emotional freedom technique.

00:52:23.597 --> 00:52:27.168
And they saw Lance Duby for emotional as well.

00:52:27.168 --> 00:52:28.967
Another emotional freedom technique as well.

00:52:28.967 --> 00:52:29.927
It's a little bit different.

00:52:30.407 --> 00:52:36.467
And then they had the option to see our, our psychic medium, Shane Smith.

00:52:36.588 --> 00:52:36.617
Okay.

00:52:36.617 --> 00:52:38.057
And so he's amazing.

00:52:38.132 --> 00:52:39.063
You gotta

00:52:39.063 --> 00:52:40.532
put the disclaimer optional.

00:52:40.532 --> 00:52:43.052
Uh, well,'cause not everybody reading, you

00:52:43.052 --> 00:52:45.483
know, and if they haven't had somebody that's passed, I've

00:52:45.483 --> 00:52:48.432
got a very long lifeline I think I've seen before, but I That's great.

00:52:48.432 --> 00:52:49.407
About how much I know about

00:52:49.407 --> 00:52:49.527
that.

00:52:49.563 --> 00:52:53.492
And then our, our last person that they saw was Alex Weyland.

00:52:53.492 --> 00:52:55.083
And so he does amazing work too.

00:52:55.112 --> 00:52:58.802
He like cleanses what is stuck in the body out.

00:52:58.802 --> 00:53:02.913
So he does rol thing, massage and roster stretch.

00:53:02.913 --> 00:53:05.043
And so he has other modalities as well.

00:53:05.043 --> 00:53:06.663
So our, we had two beta clients.

00:53:07.143 --> 00:53:07.592
I've had a roster stretch before.

00:53:07.592 --> 00:53:08.072
It was pretty

00:53:08.072 --> 00:53:08.253
nice.

00:53:08.373 --> 00:53:08.612
Oh my.

00:53:08.612 --> 00:53:09.632
It's amazing.

00:53:09.992 --> 00:53:11.193
That's a great release, right?

00:53:11.762 --> 00:53:12.603
It's so amazing.

00:53:12.603 --> 00:53:16.233
So the, all of us practitioners, so we had two beta clients go through there.

00:53:16.623 --> 00:53:17.492
All of us.

00:53:17.793 --> 00:53:22.083
And you know, how, how they were at the beginning to how they were at the very end.

00:53:22.382 --> 00:53:25.262
I mean, they quantum leaped, their lives were amazing.

00:53:25.322 --> 00:53:29.643
They had, and they hadn't tried our modalities before, but they were both open to it.

00:53:29.793 --> 00:53:37.023
And they were both, you know, at the, in a sense, beginning of life, you know, now I, another person was.

00:53:37.623 --> 00:53:40.563
Retired, but they're both thinking, what do I do with my life now?

00:53:40.742 --> 00:53:40.862
Hmm.

00:53:41.103 --> 00:53:42.302
What is my purpose now?

00:53:42.632 --> 00:53:42.693
Hmm.

00:53:42.693 --> 00:53:45.782
One's at the beginning, one's at this seasoned what?

00:53:45.782 --> 00:53:46.862
And they're asking the same thing.

00:53:46.862 --> 00:53:46.952
Mm-hmm.

00:53:46.983 --> 00:53:53.762
So that's why I picked the two that I did and what they were able to accomplish in their own lives and are continuing to do so is just amazing.

00:53:54.032 --> 00:53:58.233
Well, I think that's one of the, if you can spark curiosity and passion.

00:53:58.472 --> 00:53:58.563
Yes.

00:53:58.563 --> 00:54:02.882
Which sometimes comes with getting beyond, whatever's holding you back from that, you know?

00:54:03.393 --> 00:54:03.753
Right.

00:54:03.753 --> 00:54:04.597
And so the no fear thing,

00:54:05.012 --> 00:54:08.373
the referral, so I, you mentioned, you know, partner with other people.

00:54:08.373 --> 00:54:09.123
Absolutely.

00:54:09.152 --> 00:54:10.862
So I have the healing circle.

00:54:10.862 --> 00:54:10.922
Yeah.

00:54:11.072 --> 00:54:18.543
Plus I partner with the counselors because again, they're seeing people for months and years and they're still like, oh my gosh.

00:54:18.603 --> 00:54:18.842
Right.

00:54:18.842 --> 00:54:20.043
Why are we not getting past

00:54:20.583 --> 00:54:20.762
this?

00:54:20.762 --> 00:54:26.012
Well, that's the economic disincentive a little bit is like, but if they send'em to you for a couple sessions, what if they don't need me anymore?

00:54:26.313 --> 00:54:28.472
Well, they still go back to them'cause they're just kind of used to it.

00:54:28.592 --> 00:54:28.922
Yeah.

00:54:28.952 --> 00:54:31.172
They're just, it's like a, you know, it's a habit.

00:54:31.172 --> 00:54:32.193
It's a habit and it good habit.

00:54:32.193 --> 00:54:32.432
Right.

00:54:32.463 --> 00:54:33.722
I mean, there's nothing wrong with it.

00:54:33.782 --> 00:54:34.233
No, agreed.

00:54:34.413 --> 00:54:36.543
But ideally you want to get to a point where.

00:54:37.233 --> 00:54:38.132
You cut those purse strings.

00:54:38.132 --> 00:54:38.222
Right.

00:54:38.222 --> 00:54:39.032
At least you're not stuck.

00:54:39.123 --> 00:54:39.393
Yeah.

00:54:39.813 --> 00:54:42.003
You know, you can, you have what you need to have.

00:54:42.063 --> 00:54:42.152
Mm-hmm.

00:54:42.543 --> 00:54:47.103
Um,'cause I wanna enable people to have the skills and then move on with your life.

00:54:47.103 --> 00:54:48.063
Like, get to the next level.

00:54:48.063 --> 00:54:48.753
Keep going.

00:54:48.757 --> 00:54:49.088
Yeah, yeah,

00:54:49.092 --> 00:54:49.172
yeah.

00:54:49.172 --> 00:54:53.702
You know, it shouldn't be a badge of honor how many counseling sessions you've had every year.

00:54:54.123 --> 00:54:54.302
No.

00:54:54.302 --> 00:54:56.072
And it shouldn't be a crutch, you know, and it's, yeah.

00:54:56.132 --> 00:54:57.603
Once you've healed, keep going.

00:54:57.902 --> 00:54:59.012
Right, exactly.

00:54:59.043 --> 00:55:00.092
Uh, both can be true.

00:55:00.123 --> 00:55:07.742
Like, it's also not a shameful thing to go see a counselor, but also it isn't like, uh, a kudos.

00:55:07.742 --> 00:55:09.842
I've been seeing a counselor so much, I'm fixed.

00:55:09.842 --> 00:55:12.452
Well, a lot of people never really make much progress, you know?

00:55:12.452 --> 00:55:12.842
And so

00:55:13.202 --> 00:55:13.922
Exactly.

00:55:13.983 --> 00:55:20.853
And, and so for my story by itself, I mean, I did, of course, I always, I was, went through the training, so I've been hypnotized.

00:55:21.393 --> 00:55:22.322
A lot kind of thing.

00:55:22.322 --> 00:55:24.782
And I'd, I'd really make some big changes and shifts too.

00:55:24.782 --> 00:55:29.702
But even having that said, there was still something for my own life that was, there was still something missing.

00:55:30.003 --> 00:55:30.123
Hmm.

00:55:30.242 --> 00:55:31.233
Even with all of that.

00:55:31.233 --> 00:55:42.333
And for me, the big thing that I didn't realize was because being raised in a family, you know, of alcoholics and addiction, I took that on myself even though I wasn't addicted to those things.

00:55:42.722 --> 00:55:50.523
I, I'm a para alcoholic, so just living in a household with that, I'm a para alcoholic, just like you have secondary smoke from smokers.

00:55:50.583 --> 00:55:50.762
Sure.

00:55:50.853 --> 00:55:51.512
Which I have too.

00:55:52.413 --> 00:55:53.222
I had that as well.

00:55:53.222 --> 00:56:00.362
So the key thing that made a big shift for me and my healing was going through adult children of alcoholics last year.

00:56:00.362 --> 00:56:00.452
Mm-hmm.

00:56:00.858 --> 00:56:02.612
And then the loving parent guidebook.

00:56:02.793 --> 00:56:02.913
Hmm.

00:56:03.242 --> 00:56:04.952
That was huge.

00:56:05.193 --> 00:56:07.052
That was the biggest shift for me.

00:56:07.592 --> 00:56:08.463
It was changing it.

00:56:08.492 --> 00:56:10.952
'cause they have, you know, a laundry list of traits.

00:56:10.952 --> 00:56:11.913
There's 14 traits.

00:56:11.913 --> 00:56:16.532
And I looked at it and I was every one of them and I was like, oh my gosh.

00:56:17.177 --> 00:56:18.887
I, I'm all of these things.

00:56:18.947 --> 00:56:19.128
Yeah.

00:56:19.217 --> 00:56:21.827
You know, it's devastating, but then it's like, oh my gosh, I'm all these things.

00:56:22.038 --> 00:56:22.847
I belong here.

00:56:22.847 --> 00:56:25.458
This is the missing piece for my healing journey.

00:56:25.818 --> 00:56:31.068
So I was so fortunate to find a sponsor that was like, Hey, uh, this is what I wanna do.

00:56:31.068 --> 00:56:31.878
Do you wanna do it with me?

00:56:31.878 --> 00:56:32.748
And like, absolutely.

00:56:32.748 --> 00:56:33.228
Let's do it.

00:56:33.228 --> 00:56:42.768
And so we, last year, both of us did the deep dive of the 12 Steps of Adult Children of Alcoholics, and then the Loving Parent Guidebook in a year, which is really aggressive.

00:56:42.827 --> 00:56:43.788
I don't recommend that.

00:56:43.998 --> 00:56:44.027
Okay.

00:56:44.027 --> 00:56:45.047
Don't, it's not a race.

00:56:45.318 --> 00:56:45.467
Yeah.

00:56:45.858 --> 00:56:47.418
Don't you have to go, you don't have to go fast.

00:56:48.077 --> 00:56:50.838
But for me, I, I definitely needed to move that dial fast.

00:56:50.958 --> 00:56:51.018
The

00:56:51.018 --> 00:56:52.338
loving parent guidebook.

00:56:52.608 --> 00:56:53.057
Exactly.

00:56:53.057 --> 00:56:53.268
Is that to

00:56:53.382 --> 00:56:54.768
help you become a loving parent

00:56:54.768 --> 00:56:55.217
Absolutely.

00:56:55.217 --> 00:56:56.088
To yourself.

00:56:56.748 --> 00:56:56.838
Oh.

00:56:56.898 --> 00:57:04.998
Because when you're in a situation, a household where you don't have a loving parent and not to be, you know, blaming anybody.

00:57:05.463 --> 00:57:06.483
They didn't have it either.

00:57:06.543 --> 00:57:11.043
Like my parents didn't have it, their parents didn't have it, and so each generation gets less and less.

00:57:11.043 --> 00:57:13.862
So by the time I came around, there wasn't much left.

00:57:13.922 --> 00:57:17.103
And it's not to place blame on anybody because they didn't have it.

00:57:17.193 --> 00:57:17.492
Yeah.

00:57:17.612 --> 00:57:23.972
So doing the 12 steps gives you the reason of why you do or didn't do things, why your family did or didn't do things.

00:57:23.972 --> 00:57:24.123
Sure.

00:57:24.123 --> 00:57:24.992
It's the whys.

00:57:25.373 --> 00:57:33.443
And then the Loving Parent guidebook, it teaches you how to be your own loving parent, which is amazing because I have no clue what is a loving parent.

00:57:33.443 --> 00:57:34.253
I didn't have one.

00:57:34.643 --> 00:57:43.762
So going through that teaches you how to be your own loving parent, because now my inner child and my inner teen still need that, that guidance and that help and that love.

00:57:44.333 --> 00:57:44.362
Okay?

00:57:44.362 --> 00:57:44.512
It's

00:57:44.512 --> 00:57:45.202
still in there.

00:57:45.262 --> 00:57:47.902
All of us still have our own little person inside of us.

00:57:47.902 --> 00:57:49.612
And if we were in abusive, I just let

00:57:49.612 --> 00:57:52.043
mine shine through to the surface generally.

00:57:52.282 --> 00:57:53.422
And that's great, right?

00:57:53.422 --> 00:57:56.842
We wanna play so when you have adults, because some adults are just so serious.

00:57:56.842 --> 00:57:57.652
And I was that too.

00:57:57.652 --> 00:57:58.523
I was totally that.

00:57:58.793 --> 00:57:59.603
I'm so serious.

00:57:59.603 --> 00:58:00.202
I'm an adult.

00:58:00.592 --> 00:58:01.222
Oh my God.

00:58:01.432 --> 00:58:02.362
Let that go.

00:58:02.572 --> 00:58:04.643
Like your inner child needs to play, right?

00:58:04.643 --> 00:58:06.652
Your inner teenager needs to dance.

00:58:06.657 --> 00:58:06.967
Have fun.

00:58:07.007 --> 00:58:07.248
I have

00:58:07.288 --> 00:58:13.762
a, uh, I have an ODELLS onesie, um, that I normally change into when I get home from work.

00:58:13.972 --> 00:58:14.288
Oh my gosh.

00:58:14.288 --> 00:58:15.592
Is it a it's a total onesie.

00:58:15.623 --> 00:58:15.802
Oh, it's

00:58:15.802 --> 00:58:17.902
a total onesie with a hood and four pockets.

00:58:17.992 --> 00:58:18.172
Oh my gosh.

00:58:18.172 --> 00:58:19.253
Two zipper pockets.

00:58:19.253 --> 00:58:19.853
I love that.

00:58:19.913 --> 00:58:20.768
Um, and, uh.

00:58:21.867 --> 00:58:26.038
I bought one for myself and each of my three siblings for Christmas a couple years ago.

00:58:26.128 --> 00:58:26.788
And, uh, I

00:58:26.788 --> 00:58:27.597
wanna see that picture.

00:58:27.597 --> 00:58:27.657
It

00:58:27.898 --> 00:58:29.068
is a pretty good picture.

00:58:29.547 --> 00:58:40.108
Um, but the story I wanted to share is that, um, my wife and I have been hosting this exchange student, Sarah, uh, for almost, gosh, a little more two months now.

00:58:40.677 --> 00:58:43.378
Um, and she'll move back at the end of December and whatever.

00:58:43.797 --> 00:58:59.128
Uh, but she was telling me the other day that, that she had a, a dream where her dad was wearing a onesie and she was like, oh, well that's completely adorable for, for a middle aged man to wear a onesie.

00:58:59.128 --> 00:59:00.478
And I was like, sweet.

00:59:00.478 --> 00:59:03.538
I'm making progress on my cultural revolution.

00:59:03.568 --> 00:59:03.987
Yes.

00:59:04.077 --> 00:59:09.327
Of bringing the onesie back into middle aged man, uh, utility.

00:59:10.768 --> 00:59:10.907
And that's just the big game.

00:59:10.907 --> 00:59:11.307
I mean, not even

00:59:11.307 --> 00:59:15.507
back into, I'm never not sure it's ever actually been into middle aged man utility, but it's.

00:59:15.873 --> 00:59:16.893
For those out there listening.

00:59:16.893 --> 00:59:17.972
Get yourself a onesie.

00:59:17.972 --> 00:59:18.693
You get a onesie.

00:59:18.693 --> 00:59:19.652
Will not regret it.

00:59:19.983 --> 00:59:28.202
I don't have one yet, but I saw they have, you know, in Yeah, some of the stores, they have the Christmas stuff coming in and now so the Grinch, they have a onesie for the Grinch

00:59:28.202 --> 00:59:28.353
onesie.

00:59:28.413 --> 00:59:29.492
Yeah, we're it all season.

00:59:29.612 --> 00:59:30.842
I'm totally gonna get one of those.

00:59:30.842 --> 00:59:33.603
I love the Grinch, so my dad and I used to watch that together.

00:59:33.603 --> 00:59:35.012
So good memory.

00:59:35.072 --> 00:59:38.552
I'm gonna call for a short break and then we'll come back here and do some more fun stuff.

00:59:38.612 --> 00:59:39.092
That's great.

00:59:39.242 --> 00:59:39.572
Thank you.

00:59:39.663 --> 00:59:39.963
Cheers.

01:00:30.244 --> 01:00:30.963
And we're back.

01:00:31.384 --> 01:00:32.434
All right, thanks.

01:00:32.434 --> 01:00:36.213
That was a very, uh, pleasant bathroom break for you, for me, for you.

01:00:36.483 --> 01:00:36.963
Me too.

01:00:37.023 --> 01:00:37.443
It was great.

01:00:37.443 --> 01:00:37.623
Thank you.

01:00:37.623 --> 01:00:37.923
Yes.

01:00:38.764 --> 01:00:40.324
You know, um.

01:00:41.298 --> 01:00:53.208
And, uh, when we left, we were kind of in the kind of midst of kind of that, that dark period and thinking a lot about our thoughts around suicide and how it affected you, but also how it affects everybody.

01:00:53.719 --> 01:01:05.208
And so, especially for the sake of listeners, like what is like active suicide prevention, how do you recognize signs?

01:01:05.208 --> 01:01:07.068
I'm sure this is something that you've probably put.

01:01:07.563 --> 01:01:16.324
Hundreds of hours into now, both, uh, in like coursework, but also just reading books and whatever else, whatever you could learn about it.

01:01:16.384 --> 01:01:20.463
I, I'm, I'm just guessing based on your personality and your journey.

01:01:20.673 --> 01:01:21.393
Absolutely.

01:01:21.393 --> 01:01:24.543
And so, especially with my own journey with it kind of thing, right?

01:01:24.543 --> 01:01:24.634
Yeah.

01:01:24.634 --> 01:01:26.103
I have my own dark night of the soul.

01:01:26.793 --> 01:01:29.313
So you, there's some key things, right?

01:01:29.313 --> 01:01:32.103
So definitely you wanna be in community.

01:01:32.313 --> 01:01:33.514
We're not meant to be alone.

01:01:33.724 --> 01:01:33.903
Yeah.

01:01:34.264 --> 01:01:37.384
Whatever brings you joy and happiness, do it.

01:01:37.653 --> 01:01:45.034
Whether it's you make money at it or you have it as a side gig or as a hobby, whatever fills your cup up, what fills your soul.

01:01:45.034 --> 01:01:45.963
Make sure you do it.

01:01:46.353 --> 01:01:47.284
It doesn't matter what it is.

01:01:47.284 --> 01:01:47.449
I pulling

01:01:47.449 --> 01:01:49.054
the feathers out of my chicken's wings,

01:01:49.233 --> 01:01:49.983
then you do it.

01:01:50.103 --> 01:01:51.213
If that brings you joy, well

01:01:51.213 --> 01:01:54.273
then they don't fly over my neighbor's fence and I don't have to go get'em.

01:01:54.574 --> 01:01:56.074
Gosh, I'm just kidding.

01:01:56.074 --> 01:01:57.543
I don't actually find any joy in it.

01:01:57.579 --> 01:01:59.764
I, I, and I just cut the end off of it with a scissor.

01:02:00.123 --> 01:02:00.574
Oh yeah.

01:02:00.574 --> 01:02:00.603
I

01:02:00.603 --> 01:02:01.684
definitely don't wanna see you.

01:02:01.684 --> 01:02:02.733
That's kind of creepy, but it's

01:02:02.733 --> 01:02:05.884
actually way less disturbing than actually pulling their feathers out.

01:02:05.884 --> 01:02:08.704
You're sicko like you told me to do it.

01:02:08.704 --> 01:02:09.634
That's gross.

01:02:10.954 --> 01:02:11.403
Anyway,

01:02:11.733 --> 01:02:12.664
you totally digress.

01:02:13.384 --> 01:02:14.494
I'm being serious at here.

01:02:14.494 --> 01:02:16.353
I'm seeing how capable you are of holding the point.

01:02:16.563 --> 01:02:17.313
So that was two.

01:02:18.333 --> 01:02:20.583
Um, so again,

01:02:21.119 --> 01:02:22.179
we could do it two again.

01:02:22.179 --> 01:02:22.233
You wanna be in

01:02:22.233 --> 01:02:22.713
community?

01:02:23.014 --> 01:02:24.364
In community, in community.

01:02:24.423 --> 01:02:26.434
Like first and foremost speak about it.

01:02:26.434 --> 01:02:27.244
Yeah, talk about it.

01:02:27.273 --> 01:02:27.333
Yeah.

01:02:27.333 --> 01:02:30.273
You know, you see something in yourself or in somebody else.

01:02:30.393 --> 01:02:31.713
You see something, do something.

01:02:31.744 --> 01:02:31.773
Okay.

01:02:32.583 --> 01:02:33.094
Right.

01:02:33.273 --> 01:02:36.514
Being in community I, the Blue Zones, that's what they do.

01:02:36.514 --> 01:02:40.773
If someone is really depressed and they're suicidal, they bring them in community automatically.

01:02:41.103 --> 01:02:42.153
The Blue Zones.

01:02:42.498 --> 01:02:44.869
The blue zones, that's like the health and like in

01:02:45.079 --> 01:02:45.469
Okay.

01:02:45.559 --> 01:02:46.219
In Europe.

01:02:46.224 --> 01:02:46.364
Yeah.

01:02:46.369 --> 01:02:46.639
Yeah.

01:02:46.639 --> 01:02:46.668
Okay.

01:02:46.668 --> 01:02:47.509
Greece, that kind of thing.

01:02:47.514 --> 01:02:48.108
Gotcha, gotcha.

01:02:48.168 --> 01:02:49.009
That's totally different.

01:02:49.219 --> 01:02:49.489
Yeah.

01:02:49.489 --> 01:02:51.259
I'm not familiar with that concept, but that's okay.

01:02:52.248 --> 01:02:55.009
So the community's huge exercise is huge.

01:02:55.009 --> 01:02:55.099
Mm-hmm.

01:02:55.099 --> 01:03:03.889
Because that's, anytime you exercise, the feel goods come out, all the endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine, because that plus it's bringing the flow of your body, right?

01:03:03.889 --> 01:03:06.048
The blood is flowing in your body, that kind of thing.

01:03:06.079 --> 01:03:06.378
Yes.

01:03:06.469 --> 01:03:10.039
And I do have that email started to introduce you to Mandy from Run Windsor.

01:03:10.309 --> 01:03:10.878
Oh, wonderful.

01:03:10.878 --> 01:03:17.778
Uh, I haven't done it yet, but both of you guys have that message as well of if you run a little bit, it's good for your head and good for your body.

01:03:17.958 --> 01:03:18.498
Absolutely.

01:03:18.498 --> 01:03:20.268
And you learn things faster too.

01:03:20.568 --> 01:03:25.789
When you are physically doing something, you learn something so fast so you can habit stack.

01:03:26.059 --> 01:03:30.858
So that's why when you're listening to a podcast and you're walking or running or on a bicycle, oh really?

01:03:30.858 --> 01:03:31.728
You learn it faster.

01:03:31.818 --> 01:03:32.298
Really?

01:03:32.298 --> 01:03:32.449
Mm-hmm.

01:03:32.809 --> 01:03:33.438
I did not know that.

01:03:33.469 --> 01:03:34.099
Absolutely.

01:03:34.398 --> 01:03:35.088
Is there number four?

01:03:35.239 --> 01:03:36.079
Uh, yes.

01:03:36.079 --> 01:03:36.409
So.

01:03:36.409 --> 01:03:37.009
So seek help.

01:03:37.594 --> 01:03:37.983
Right.

01:03:38.043 --> 01:03:40.893
Seek help, go to, you know, call a counselor.

01:03:40.893 --> 01:03:41.853
Call myself.

01:03:41.884 --> 01:03:42.003
Yeah.

01:03:42.003 --> 01:03:44.853
We say ask of your needs and share of your abundance around here.

01:03:44.943 --> 01:03:45.483
Absolutely.

01:03:45.483 --> 01:03:49.744
You know, if you're in part of a church community or somebody something.

01:03:49.773 --> 01:03:50.134
Right.

01:03:50.134 --> 01:03:51.153
Be part of a community.

01:03:51.153 --> 01:03:52.143
Ask somebody for help.

01:03:52.233 --> 01:03:52.414
Yeah.

01:03:52.594 --> 01:03:56.463
And you know, a key thing too is to know your own rock bottom.

01:03:56.824 --> 01:03:57.184
Right.

01:03:57.364 --> 01:03:57.574
Hmm.

01:03:57.753 --> 01:04:00.574
You know, when you're getting to that point, do something immediately.

01:04:00.603 --> 01:04:00.753
Hmm.

01:04:00.873 --> 01:04:03.483
You know, calling a friend, calling a family member.

01:04:03.844 --> 01:04:05.344
Even just go out and be with people.

01:04:05.344 --> 01:04:07.653
When I was at my rock bottom, I couldn't,'cause it was COVID.

01:04:07.893 --> 01:04:10.204
You couldn't see people, you couldn't touch people in you.

01:04:10.518 --> 01:04:10.639
In

01:04:10.639 --> 01:04:10.759
Wyoming.

01:04:11.014 --> 01:04:11.614
You weren't at Wyoming.

01:04:11.614 --> 01:04:12.273
Wyoming.

01:04:12.574 --> 01:04:14.014
Not during my rock bottom.

01:04:14.043 --> 01:04:14.224
You should

01:04:14.224 --> 01:04:15.094
have moved to Wyoming.

01:04:15.634 --> 01:04:17.914
Uh,'cause COVID wasn't really a thing there.

01:04:17.974 --> 01:04:18.483
That would've been.

01:04:18.634 --> 01:04:20.643
Well, the wind alone is depressing.

01:04:21.634 --> 01:04:23.284
That was depressing by itself, the wind.

01:04:23.673 --> 01:04:24.034
Fair enough.

01:04:24.784 --> 01:04:25.684
Um, okay.

01:04:25.684 --> 01:04:25.983
Fair.

01:04:26.103 --> 01:04:26.643
Seek help.

01:04:26.733 --> 01:04:27.304
Seek help.

01:04:27.304 --> 01:04:28.293
Number one, seek help.

01:04:28.293 --> 01:04:28.474
Right?

01:04:28.503 --> 01:04:28.653
Yeah.

01:04:28.833 --> 01:04:29.523
Ask somebody.

01:04:29.523 --> 01:04:30.884
They have, you know, they have the.

01:04:31.548 --> 01:04:33.108
And how do we, I don't know.

01:04:33.139 --> 01:04:38.599
Like I remember a time when I was like 12, 13 years old and I was, I hadn't hit a growth spurt yet.

01:04:38.628 --> 01:04:39.858
I was super dorky.

01:04:39.858 --> 01:04:48.318
I was, you know, and I actually remember saying kind of like, maybe after football season I'll be done, you know?

01:04:48.324 --> 01:04:48.423
Right.

01:04:48.739 --> 01:04:51.469
And I never got any deeper than that, you know, football season.

01:04:51.469 --> 01:04:53.239
And I wasn't depressed at the end of football season.

01:04:53.239 --> 01:05:01.789
And so I, I, that was like the one little kind of few months, couple months, few weeks period, where I actually had some suicidal thoughts mm-hmm.

01:05:01.789 --> 01:05:02.838
That I can recollect.

01:05:03.559 --> 01:05:08.478
Um, but aside from that, like, like is that your rock bottom?

01:05:08.478 --> 01:05:12.018
Like when you actually have a thought like that, or It depends on the person.

01:05:12.079 --> 01:05:13.818
It depends on the person, you know.

01:05:13.824 --> 01:05:13.914
Yeah.

01:05:14.179 --> 01:05:17.088
I mean, I can handle a lot just because of my own story.

01:05:17.389 --> 01:05:25.429
You know, I have the capacity to really hold space for, for people, you know, that's one thing when I get a question where, you know, you have a total stranger come in your office.

01:05:25.833 --> 01:05:27.994
You're going to deep trauma, how do you do that?

01:05:28.324 --> 01:05:28.503
Right?

01:05:28.684 --> 01:05:30.753
Like you're a total stranger off the street, basically.

01:05:30.753 --> 01:05:31.684
Why would they do that?

01:05:31.684 --> 01:05:31.744
Yeah.

01:05:32.224 --> 01:05:34.143
And for me, that's a great question.

01:05:34.143 --> 01:05:35.164
That's a valid question.

01:05:35.253 --> 01:05:36.934
And for me, I just, what if they come into

01:05:36.934 --> 01:05:37.954
your podcast studio?

01:05:38.853 --> 01:05:40.653
Podcast studio would not be a place for it.

01:05:42.393 --> 01:05:44.224
We definitely wanna create that safe space.

01:05:44.403 --> 01:05:44.463
Yeah.

01:05:44.463 --> 01:05:48.094
Because if you create a safe space with somebody, you can talk about anything.

01:05:48.184 --> 01:05:48.454
Yeah.

01:05:48.634 --> 01:05:50.523
And you hold that, you're neutral.

01:05:50.914 --> 01:05:52.903
You're not judging them, you're holding that safe space for them.

01:05:52.958 --> 01:05:53.079
A

01:05:53.079 --> 01:06:05.704
compliment I have for you is that you are very, uh, disarming, I guess, like you're easy to talk to and not feel threatened by in any way or whatever.

01:06:05.704 --> 01:06:09.634
And I imagine that's probably one of your superpowers, even in your craft.

01:06:09.639 --> 01:06:09.719
Yes.

01:06:09.813 --> 01:06:10.143
Yes.

01:06:10.143 --> 01:06:10.713
Thank you.

01:06:10.773 --> 01:06:15.844
It, that's taken a lot of me doing my work for years and years and continuing to do it.

01:06:15.903 --> 01:06:16.083
Hmm.

01:06:16.414 --> 01:06:18.063
It's a, it's a lifelong process.

01:06:18.123 --> 01:06:18.333
Yeah.

01:06:18.483 --> 01:06:18.844
Fair enough.

01:06:18.934 --> 01:06:19.474
Absolutely.

01:06:19.594 --> 01:06:23.134
Do you wanna play our ping pong ball challenge game?

01:06:24.003 --> 01:06:24.753
Yes, I do.

01:06:25.114 --> 01:06:25.923
Is there anything else

01:06:25.929 --> 01:06:28.329
you wanna share in that last segment?

01:06:28.329 --> 01:06:28.474
The main, the

01:06:28.474 --> 01:06:37.143
most important part for me is for everybody to know that you are enough, you are worthy, you are lovable, and you matter just the way you are.

01:06:37.443 --> 01:06:39.094
You don't have to do or be anything.

01:06:39.483 --> 01:06:43.233
Just being here is your birthright and know that you matter.

01:06:43.954 --> 01:06:44.824
Well, thanks for that.

01:06:45.273 --> 01:06:45.603
Absolutely.

01:06:45.603 --> 01:06:49.653
Um, I, I'm not quite ready to go to the ping pong balls now.

01:06:49.653 --> 01:06:54.844
Like you were, you were, do you have a, a church relationship still?

01:06:54.844 --> 01:06:59.164
Are you like,'cause that sounds like a very kind of Christian kind of a statement, right?

01:06:59.164 --> 01:07:03.153
Like, God created you just the way he wants you, so you don't have the right to kill yourself.

01:07:03.153 --> 01:07:03.724
Almost.

01:07:04.233 --> 01:07:06.994
Uh, have you maintained your faith or changed over the years?

01:07:06.998 --> 01:07:08.673
I'm, I'm, I still own Catholic.

01:07:08.914 --> 01:07:09.213
Okay.

01:07:09.393 --> 01:07:09.574
Yep.

01:07:09.784 --> 01:07:12.423
Um, I don't go religiously got used to, yeah.

01:07:12.423 --> 01:07:14.014
After being a religious ed.

01:07:14.224 --> 01:07:14.494
Uh, but

01:07:14.494 --> 01:07:16.384
that still informs your value, background all.

01:07:16.384 --> 01:07:16.563
Sure.

01:07:16.563 --> 01:07:17.648
My, my value like that, I.

01:07:18.273 --> 01:07:26.673
I still go, you know, the typical Easter and Christmas, all the big ones, and occasionally all the big ones, and occasionally here and there, sprinkle in there, but I also go to Timberline too.

01:07:26.943 --> 01:07:27.063
Okay.

01:07:27.184 --> 01:07:31.804
Um, because when I, you know, my parents were alive, like, no, you have to only go to Catholic, which I.

01:07:32.239 --> 01:07:33.619
I didn't agree with that.

01:07:33.648 --> 01:07:36.679
As long as you believe in God or believe in something outside of yourself.

01:07:36.739 --> 01:07:36.949
Yeah,

01:07:36.978 --> 01:07:37.969
because it doesn't matter.

01:07:38.148 --> 01:07:45.228
As long as we believe in something, whether it's, you know, source God, spirit, something, there's something bigger than all of us, right?

01:07:45.228 --> 01:07:47.599
And so we all resonate with something different.

01:07:47.599 --> 01:07:48.349
And that doesn't matter.

01:07:48.648 --> 01:07:52.278
Just knowing that you're not alone, that there's something else out here helping me.

01:07:52.699 --> 01:07:57.139
For me that's so important because I know my faith is huge.

01:07:57.199 --> 01:07:57.588
Uh, St.

01:07:57.588 --> 01:08:01.188
Teresa's my patron saint, and she's been with me since I was a teenager.

01:08:01.278 --> 01:08:03.289
And that's a lot of reason why I'm still here today.

01:08:03.318 --> 01:08:04.668
'cause I would just call on her.

01:08:04.668 --> 01:08:08.869
And then for my family, they're all, you know, in heaven for me.

01:08:08.869 --> 01:08:12.498
And I call on them every single day and they come to me in different ways.

01:08:12.498 --> 01:08:14.989
Like, you know, I'll ask them something specific.

01:08:14.989 --> 01:08:16.338
Like for me, God is a feather.

01:08:16.338 --> 01:08:18.828
And if I'm really struggling, I'm like, God, I need to see a.

01:08:19.083 --> 01:08:20.043
Physical feather.

01:08:20.043 --> 01:08:25.198
And the next morning on my front porch, there was a feather right there at my, my and I hear talking about

01:08:25.198 --> 01:08:26.359
pulling chicken feathers out.

01:08:27.779 --> 01:08:28.279
Not that one,

01:08:28.519 --> 01:08:29.998
that trauma inducing, hopefully.

01:08:30.418 --> 01:08:31.118
No, no.

01:08:31.538 --> 01:08:34.743
But you know, it's so amazing because they don't, they don't leave.

01:08:34.804 --> 01:08:36.514
I mean, the relationship is still there.

01:08:36.514 --> 01:08:37.234
Just different.

01:08:37.444 --> 01:08:37.564
Yeah.

01:08:37.774 --> 01:08:41.493
And I can't talk to them like I'm talking to you right now, but they're still in relationship.

01:08:41.493 --> 01:08:48.479
But I know they're always around me, you know, and I go into, like, when I'm doing a speaking arrangement, you know, I always spoke, you know, in front of the, the.

01:08:49.083 --> 01:08:50.524
The police last week, you know?

01:08:50.583 --> 01:08:50.673
Oh.

01:08:50.673 --> 01:08:52.024
And I was just like, wow.

01:08:52.024 --> 01:08:53.884
That was empowering to be in there.

01:08:53.884 --> 01:08:57.304
And they're all in there with me because they go, they go before me.

01:08:57.304 --> 01:09:06.154
'cause to be in a room full of, you know, placement and off, you know, in their uniforms is intimidating because of my history with my family.

01:09:06.514 --> 01:09:08.974
You know, I saw them in negative situations.

01:09:08.974 --> 01:09:09.064
Sure.

01:09:09.064 --> 01:09:10.323
But they were doing their jobs.

01:09:10.323 --> 01:09:10.413
Sure.

01:09:10.413 --> 01:09:11.554
They were doing what they're supposed to.

01:09:11.613 --> 01:09:13.623
But initially when you see a whole room from them, it's like,

01:09:14.524 --> 01:09:15.123
yeah,

01:09:15.213 --> 01:09:17.198
I'm here for a reason and a purpose and a, yeah.

01:09:17.198 --> 01:09:17.599
I barely imagine.

01:09:17.823 --> 01:09:18.064
Yeah.

01:09:18.123 --> 01:09:20.554
So, but I knew it went well, it was so amazing.

01:09:20.554 --> 01:09:24.873
Officer, you know, Dexter Rowe invited me to his meeting and it was just amazing.

01:09:24.873 --> 01:09:26.854
So, so grateful to him for the opportunity.

01:09:26.884 --> 01:09:28.234
Well, thanks Officer Dexter.

01:09:28.594 --> 01:09:29.944
Yes, absolutely.

01:09:29.974 --> 01:09:35.734
Okay, now grab three of those three.

01:09:35.738 --> 01:09:35.958
Yep.

01:09:43.144 --> 01:09:43.323
All righty.

01:09:43.323 --> 01:09:46.173
This is our random question challenge, just'cause.

01:09:47.479 --> 01:09:52.578
You know, I have a hard time coming up with good questions to ask sometimes during the course of the conversation.

01:09:52.639 --> 01:09:54.828
I love, eight is the Infinity, so let's go with that one first.

01:09:54.828 --> 01:09:55.368
Oh, nice.

01:09:56.238 --> 01:10:07.069
Uh, what music or artist reminds you most of your childhood, like music genre, particular artist, like tell me about this Spanish family.

01:10:07.069 --> 01:10:07.338
Uh,

01:10:07.399 --> 01:10:09.323
actually the Gogos totally came to mind.

01:10:09.384 --> 01:10:10.003
The Gogos

01:10:11.713 --> 01:10:13.219
that came outta left field for me, the Gogos.

01:10:13.788 --> 01:10:18.078
My cousin Julie and I used to sing the Gogos to the little cassette player.

01:10:18.139 --> 01:10:18.569
Yeah, yeah.

01:10:18.769 --> 01:10:20.238
Oh my gosh, I still have that tape.

01:10:20.238 --> 01:10:20.448
Was it the

01:10:20.448 --> 01:10:21.884
best where when the like.

01:10:23.314 --> 01:10:27.094
Like it started out it was like two little speakers and a cassette player in between.

01:10:27.094 --> 01:10:28.083
It was like this big.

01:10:28.083 --> 01:10:35.134
And then, yes, by the time I got to college in the early nineties, you had pretty big boombox, boom boxes and stuff.

01:10:35.134 --> 01:10:37.743
And then pretty soon you got like the evolution.

01:10:37.743 --> 01:10:37.753
Yeah.

01:10:37.939 --> 01:10:38.538
Anything of the boombox

01:10:38.998 --> 01:10:39.738
and he is holding it.

01:10:39.878 --> 01:10:40.474
Oh yeah.

01:10:40.474 --> 01:10:40.503
A

01:10:40.684 --> 01:10:42.694
detachable speakers and all that.

01:10:42.753 --> 01:10:44.104
I totally have where there still

01:10:45.243 --> 01:10:46.474
So the Go-Go's.

01:10:46.503 --> 01:10:46.713
Yep.

01:10:46.953 --> 01:10:47.493
I like it.

01:10:47.854 --> 01:10:48.094
I love that.

01:10:48.094 --> 01:10:49.444
Next, next question.

01:10:49.533 --> 01:10:50.314
29.

01:10:50.314 --> 01:10:51.243
29.

01:10:52.774 --> 01:10:56.463
What's the most surprising thing about running your own business?

01:10:57.844 --> 01:11:03.663
This is relatively, um, recent scenario, at least in his current context.

01:11:03.663 --> 01:11:08.884
And, and even you never really did develop as a private practice therapist like you kind of planned toward.

01:11:09.573 --> 01:11:12.753
To me, the surprising family secret for

01:11:12.753 --> 01:11:13.203
real.

01:11:13.774 --> 01:11:14.884
You're not gonna share

01:11:14.884 --> 01:11:15.543
No.

01:11:16.323 --> 01:11:16.833
All right.

01:11:16.863 --> 01:11:17.493
I'm not gonna share.

01:11:17.554 --> 01:11:17.944
All right.

01:11:17.944 --> 01:11:19.054
I'm gonna keep that one to myself.

01:11:20.673 --> 01:11:23.073
They can come see me for a free consult and then I'll share.

01:11:23.163 --> 01:11:23.583
Okay.

01:11:23.703 --> 01:11:24.123
Alright.

01:11:24.128 --> 01:11:25.413
Come, come see.

01:11:25.413 --> 01:11:27.904
And you'll get a note card with a green chili recipe.

01:11:27.904 --> 01:11:28.264
Absolutely.

01:11:28.564 --> 01:11:29.104
That, that's fair.

01:11:29.104 --> 01:11:29.404
I've made

01:11:29.404 --> 01:11:38.524
it a few different ways and I did on my food trailer for a while, but I, I would say I've, I've definitely had much better green chili than I've made.

01:11:39.274 --> 01:11:43.113
Um, which for most things isn't necessarily true.

01:11:43.113 --> 01:11:48.243
Like I made a PLI one time and I was like, damn, I've never had poli as good as this.

01:11:48.423 --> 01:11:50.283
But it's never been true to the green chili.

01:11:50.283 --> 01:11:50.703
So

01:11:50.884 --> 01:11:52.594
there's so much love in the green chili, though.

01:11:52.594 --> 01:11:53.913
You can definitely tell

01:11:54.064 --> 01:11:56.139
it takes a long time to make it really, really right.

01:11:56.958 --> 01:11:58.009
Yeah, you don't wanna rush it.

01:11:58.099 --> 01:11:58.429
Well,

01:11:58.729 --> 01:12:05.809
you definitely, it, it's, you definitely take your time with it and there's a lot of love in it when you, when it tastes amazing, you know, they put their effort into it.

01:12:05.899 --> 01:12:06.288
Fair enough.

01:12:06.948 --> 01:12:11.149
Um, the Loko experience is the craziest experience.

01:12:11.149 --> 01:12:11.958
A little Spanish, no.

01:12:12.319 --> 01:12:13.373
Uh, Lako.

01:12:13.373 --> 01:12:13.384
Yes.

01:12:14.359 --> 01:12:19.099
Uh, the craziest experience that you're willing to describe to our listeners from your lifetime.

01:13:03.904 --> 01:13:07.354
Did you think about what that was gonna be ahead of time or you just wanted to let it be a surprise?

01:13:07.654 --> 01:13:09.819
Totally be a surprise, like, craziest experience?

01:13:09.838 --> 01:13:10.259
It could be

01:13:10.259 --> 01:13:12.154
a moment, a near death experience.

01:13:12.154 --> 01:13:12.814
It could be.

01:13:12.814 --> 01:13:19.173
I mean, we described some pretty crazy experience of the sequence of siblings suicide and.

01:13:19.908 --> 01:13:24.769
Cousins besides, but that like, I'd like to, to maybe zero in on something that,

01:13:24.769 --> 01:13:25.429
something fun.

01:13:25.429 --> 01:13:25.939
I would say.

01:13:25.939 --> 01:13:25.974
Say when I

01:13:25.974 --> 01:13:28.248
say something crazy that happened in your lifetime that

01:13:28.488 --> 01:13:29.173
I'm thinking something fun.

01:13:29.173 --> 01:13:29.493
Hope so.

01:13:29.498 --> 01:13:30.679
I'm thinking of crazy fun things.

01:13:30.679 --> 01:13:31.134
I hope, I hope, I hope so.

01:13:31.729 --> 01:13:33.349
I, two things come to my mind.

01:13:33.349 --> 01:13:34.038
Actually.

01:13:34.189 --> 01:13:36.139
Hot balloon ride when I turned 30.

01:13:36.259 --> 01:13:36.588
Okay.

01:13:36.948 --> 01:13:38.118
I went on a hot balloon ride.

01:13:38.118 --> 01:13:41.569
I do something that scares me every single year and I'm afraid of heights.

01:13:41.868 --> 01:13:41.958
Okay.

01:13:41.958 --> 01:13:42.349
So that's why I did it.

01:13:42.349 --> 01:13:43.158
And it was amazing.

01:13:43.368 --> 01:13:43.578
I like it.

01:13:43.698 --> 01:13:44.868
Loved love, loved it.

01:13:45.649 --> 01:13:49.158
And then, um, parasailing over the ocean.

01:13:49.639 --> 01:13:49.698
Mm.

01:13:50.359 --> 01:13:51.198
I have not done any.

01:13:51.288 --> 01:13:51.439
Oh.

01:13:51.439 --> 01:13:53.748
Actually I haven't done a hot, hot air balloon ride either.

01:13:53.748 --> 01:13:55.488
I was supposed to on my honeymoon.

01:13:56.208 --> 01:13:56.384
Oh no.

01:13:56.384 --> 01:13:56.944
What happened?

01:13:57.003 --> 01:13:57.224
And

01:13:57.224 --> 01:13:58.849
it was too windy like four days in a row.

01:13:58.849 --> 01:14:04.099
We got up at like five 30 in the morning and got ready to go and then the dude would call us and be like, sorry.

01:14:04.099 --> 01:14:04.639
Too windy.

01:14:05.658 --> 01:14:06.769
Oh, you gotta make it happen.

01:14:07.158 --> 01:14:08.149
I still gotta make it happen.

01:14:08.149 --> 01:14:08.863
Maybe I should do it for my hours.

01:14:08.863 --> 01:14:09.184
It's amazing.

01:14:09.184 --> 01:14:09.203
For this

01:14:09.948 --> 01:14:12.469
next year or, uh, or sometime soon.

01:14:12.498 --> 01:14:13.399
'cause I'm sure she would like it.

01:14:13.804 --> 01:14:14.314
Absolutely.

01:14:14.314 --> 01:14:15.304
It's so worth doing it.

01:14:15.304 --> 01:14:21.753
And it's not scary at all because you're just floating with the air and you can, it's as clear as you can think of.

01:14:21.753 --> 01:14:23.283
You're, you're flying over people.

01:14:23.493 --> 01:14:25.654
You see them down below and you can hear their conversations.

01:14:25.654 --> 01:14:26.583
You're totally dropping.

01:14:26.583 --> 01:14:26.673
Right.

01:14:26.764 --> 01:14:27.814
You, it seems so quiet.

01:14:28.444 --> 01:14:29.673
It's solitude.

01:14:29.703 --> 01:14:30.663
Yes.

01:14:30.753 --> 01:14:31.863
Uh, peaceful.

01:14:32.404 --> 01:14:32.854
Yeah.

01:14:33.064 --> 01:14:35.224
I worry that I would like lose my stuff.

01:14:35.404 --> 01:14:35.734
Just kidding.

01:14:35.913 --> 01:14:37.083
You wouldn't you?

01:14:37.293 --> 01:14:37.503
What?

01:14:37.503 --> 01:14:39.543
All the things that you think are not gonna happen.

01:14:39.543 --> 01:14:39.604
Yeah.

01:14:39.634 --> 01:14:43.474
So once you're there, it's just like, oh, this is so amazing.

01:14:43.533 --> 01:14:49.984
And you just take it all in and it's just, it's just, it's breathtaking because you're a part of the experience.

01:14:50.014 --> 01:14:51.213
You're part of the crew.

01:14:51.243 --> 01:14:51.304
Yeah.

01:14:52.083 --> 01:14:53.884
And then you're part of the crew taking it down.

01:14:53.889 --> 01:14:53.929
Yeah.

01:14:53.934 --> 01:14:53.974
Yeah.

01:14:53.974 --> 01:14:58.413
And then they usually do like a champagne toast and something special with it and that kind of thing.

01:14:58.413 --> 01:14:58.743
So

01:14:58.743 --> 01:15:00.243
I think what I like about it is.

01:15:01.819 --> 01:15:06.109
Like, I've done whitewater rafting a bunch of times and you're part of the experience, right.

01:15:06.139 --> 01:15:09.048
But yes, but the river's so chaotic, right?

01:15:09.048 --> 01:15:12.319
And there's so many things that are outside of your control and stuff.

01:15:12.349 --> 01:15:12.469
You're

01:15:12.469 --> 01:15:14.953
in the moment and you don't enjoy it because it's just so active.

01:15:15.168 --> 01:15:15.349
And

01:15:15.349 --> 01:15:21.139
then the other thing that I do that's little bit like that, that you're experiencing together with the machine is motorcycling.

01:15:21.889 --> 01:15:22.128
But

01:15:22.128 --> 01:15:26.328
that's a very much a solo thing where you're like, okay, next corner, hit the apex.

01:15:26.929 --> 01:15:27.529
Accelerate.

01:15:27.559 --> 01:15:28.998
Oh, break, break, break, break, break.

01:15:28.998 --> 01:15:29.538
Okay.

01:15:29.538 --> 01:15:30.288
Accelerate, you know?

01:15:30.469 --> 01:15:30.769
Yeah.

01:15:30.859 --> 01:15:32.569
But so solo, but with a hot air balloon.

01:15:32.569 --> 01:15:37.788
It's got both that kind of quiet solitude, but also others involved.

01:15:37.878 --> 01:15:38.208
Well, yeah.

01:15:38.208 --> 01:15:38.713
And then when they're,

01:15:39.854 --> 01:15:41.873
you know, with the flame going up and Right.

01:15:41.873 --> 01:15:44.298
Can you toast marshmallows in the flame or anything?

01:15:44.703 --> 01:15:45.963
Uh, we didn't do that.

01:15:46.144 --> 01:15:47.043
Maybe they do it now.

01:15:47.043 --> 01:15:47.538
You can find in the right one.

01:15:47.588 --> 01:15:48.904
Maybe this was like way back in the day.

01:15:48.904 --> 01:15:49.444
So

01:15:50.014 --> 01:15:54.123
you wanted to make kind of a, a sendoff, uh, comment.

01:15:54.123 --> 01:15:54.184
Yeah.

01:15:54.184 --> 01:15:54.783
The sendoff

01:15:54.783 --> 01:16:03.213
is, you know, with, with Colorado being, you know, one of the top five with suicide in northern Colorado especially, is the highest in the state of Colorado.

01:16:03.213 --> 01:16:03.243
Mm.

01:16:03.814 --> 01:16:05.913
Definitely take care of yourself.

01:16:05.913 --> 01:16:07.203
Take care of those around you.

01:16:07.234 --> 01:16:10.173
Tell people that you love them, you care about them.

01:16:10.564 --> 01:16:22.774
And what I've made a, a habit of doing this is from Simon, Simon Sinek, if you follow him on social media a little bit, he actually had a situation where a friend reached out to him and was just texting, Hey, you wanna meet for dinner?

01:16:23.163 --> 01:16:24.243
How's things going?

01:16:24.363 --> 01:16:25.444
And was in crisis.

01:16:26.163 --> 01:16:29.194
And he was devastated because I didn't know you're in crisis.

01:16:29.194 --> 01:16:29.944
Why didn't you tell me?

01:16:30.184 --> 01:16:31.203
Well, I sent you a text.

01:16:31.654 --> 01:16:31.804
Hmm.

01:16:32.104 --> 01:16:33.184
Like these normal texts.

01:16:33.189 --> 01:16:34.259
So like, always say yes kind of.

01:16:34.264 --> 01:16:38.104
So always the key thing that I've been really encouraging is.

01:16:38.793 --> 01:16:45.213
The people in your circle when you're in crisis, just text or call and say, Hey, do you have eight minutes to talk?

01:16:45.514 --> 01:16:45.634
Hmm.

01:16:45.814 --> 01:16:50.703
It is proven scientifically, if anybody just calls, you can step out of a meeting.

01:16:50.703 --> 01:16:52.444
You can step out of anything for eight minutes.

01:16:52.533 --> 01:16:52.654
Sure.

01:16:52.743 --> 01:16:56.373
And just to connect with that person and say, Hey, I've got you.

01:16:56.673 --> 01:17:00.184
We may not be able to to solve it right now, but you're not alone.

01:17:00.724 --> 01:17:01.173
You're toge.

01:17:01.203 --> 01:17:03.094
We're together and you, you're gonna be okay.

01:17:03.213 --> 01:17:03.484
Right.

01:17:03.484 --> 01:17:05.944
And they can just talk with you, breathe with you.

01:17:05.948 --> 01:17:06.019
Yeah.

01:17:06.024 --> 01:17:06.993
Just connect with you.

01:17:07.323 --> 01:17:10.384
Just knowing that you have that makes all the difference.

01:17:10.503 --> 01:17:18.934
And it's just kinda like puts you back into the present moment and know that you're not alone and know that you have everything you need within you.

01:17:18.939 --> 01:17:19.179
Yeah.

01:17:19.203 --> 01:17:20.463
Just tap into yourself.

01:17:20.524 --> 01:17:20.644
Yeah.

01:17:20.673 --> 01:17:22.354
You know, breath work is huge.

01:17:22.774 --> 01:17:23.854
You know, ask for help.

01:17:23.854 --> 01:17:25.264
That's the bravest thing you can do.

01:17:25.503 --> 01:17:33.963
You know, as I, as I reflect, I've, I've had a couple brushes with suicide in my own life and you know, I've seen Right.

01:17:33.963 --> 01:17:34.654
Every mm-hmm.

01:17:34.713 --> 01:17:35.703
And it almost feels like.

01:17:37.279 --> 01:17:46.488
People that have suicided themselves have on the average just as much going for them overall in life.

01:17:46.488 --> 01:17:49.698
Like they may be know a tough spot, they hit a rock bottom for them or whatever.

01:17:49.698 --> 01:17:56.029
But like I was thinking my, I had a friend in college that, that killed himself when I was probably 20 or something like that.

01:17:56.029 --> 01:17:59.509
And he was really the, he was the brother of a closer friend.

01:17:59.599 --> 01:17:59.689
Mm-hmm.

01:18:00.319 --> 01:18:04.578
And, but the dude was a stud, like he was, his athleticism was awesome.

01:18:04.578 --> 01:18:06.738
He was a baseball player in high school.

01:18:06.798 --> 01:18:09.948
Could have been in college probably if he tried harder and stuff.

01:18:10.458 --> 01:18:27.498
And, you know, and he, he, he did it'cause of, he, he had a pretty girlfriend, but then the girlfriend broke up with him'cause he was kind of a mess, you know, devastating, you know, and it was devastating to him and like the notion that he would just end that over that, uh, well, in the

01:18:27.498 --> 01:18:28.698
moment they don't see it.

01:18:28.788 --> 01:18:29.269
Right.

01:18:29.298 --> 01:18:32.359
You know, in reality this too shall pass.

01:18:33.184 --> 01:18:36.423
Whether it's bad or good, even the most amazing moment in the world.

01:18:36.423 --> 01:18:36.753
Yay.

01:18:36.753 --> 01:18:37.594
I'm so excited.

01:18:37.654 --> 01:18:39.304
Yeah, that passes too.

01:18:39.844 --> 01:18:44.493
The most horrific, devastating that passes, so everything is gonna pass.

01:18:44.554 --> 01:18:48.123
That's probably the best piece of advice from this conversation is this too.

01:18:48.123 --> 01:18:48.844
Shall pass.

01:18:49.024 --> 01:18:49.623
Absolutely.

01:18:50.944 --> 01:18:51.543
Thanks for being here.

01:18:51.783 --> 01:18:53.194
Thank you so much for this opportunity.

01:18:53.253 --> 01:18:53.404
Cut.

01:18:53.404 --> 01:18:53.644
Speed.