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May 27, 2022

BONUS #4 | May 2022 Blog - Relationship Vitamins

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This month, I’m reflecting on a pair of conversations I’ve enjoyed recently onThe LoCo Experiencepodcast, with a pair of married couples - Miles and Val Kailburn ofOld Town Media, and Wally and Miriam Veigel ofWally’s Speed Shop.  Interestingly, in both cases the business was started by one of the partners, and as it grew and needed more support - the other partner joined the business and helped take things to the next level.  Both pairs exhibit strong relationships made even stronger through the galvanization of a business journey, and shared joy in having created an enterprise to be proud of.  

Now, I’m sure they’ve had their challenges, and perhaps like myself and my honey bear, have sought professional assistance in repairing a strained relationship.  And there is no judgment in it - in fact I think it’s smart and wise to know when you need help.  However, the notion on my mind this month is not so much intervention when there is something broken, but prevention of relationships being strained - an ounce of prevention instead of a pound of cure, as the old saying goes.  Relationship Vitamins is my title this month, and I’ll be exploring the small habits we can build to prevent straining our most important relationships - at home, at the office, at school, and everywhere.  

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Music By: A Brother's Fountain


Thanks for tuning in for another bonus episode of the local experience podcast, this will be our May, 2022 blog titled relationship vitamins. I'm reflecting on a pair of conversations. I've enjoyed recently on the local experience podcast with a pair of married couples miles and Val Kilburn of old town, media, and Wally and Miriam. From Wally's speed shop. Interestingly, in both cases, the business was started by one of the partners and as it grew and needed more support, the other partner jumped on board and joined the business and help take things to the next level. Both pairs, exhibit strong relationships, medium is stronger through the galvanization of a business journey and shared join. Having created an enterprise to be proud of. Now, I'm sure they've had their challenges and perhaps like myself and my honey bear have sought professional assistance in repairing a strain relationship. And there is no judgment in it. In fact, I think it's smart and wise to know when you had help. However, the notion of my mind this month is not so much intervention when there is something broken, but prevention of a relationship being strained in the first place, an ounce of prevention instead of a pound of cure, as the old saying. Relationship vitamins is my title this month, and I'll be exploring the small tidbits and habits that you can use to prevent straining our most important relationships at home at the office at school and everywhere. When I began my entrepreneurial journey in 2013, my honey bear jumped in to help wherever she could. I started a business called bear capital advisors to help business owners navigate the ambiguous waters of the banking. Later bear capital advisers transformed into Loco think tank to help business owners navigate life and business together. And then still in the same 12 month period, I launched bear's backyard grill to help local foodies and food fans enjoy yummy fair for each of these enterprises. She was our bookkeeper and bill payer and primary organizer helper. Even though she had math, have a strain relationship. She also chipped in where other help was needed in the commissary for prep day on occasion at the service window for festivals and big event. As I may have mentioned before. My wife's essence is that of an organizer planner able to take on many tasks and get done many things and find joy in checking those boxes. My essence in contrast is that of a thinker idea. I love philosophical topics, deep conversations, and interesting ideas, simple tasks, and my minor details rather annoy me. So during that season, when I was at a high boil, starting a new venture every few months, none of which had enough revenue to be sustainable, and she's doing her best to find a place for everything and put everything in its place. And I'm flailing away at this task of creating something, anything that will help to restore some stability to our finances and our relationship. Let's just say there was some. Now's a good time to give kudos to Josh Emery from Emory counseling and Fort Collins. He helped me get some perspective on how much of an ass I was being gently and encourage Jill to have patience with me as I figured out my shit. Okay. It wasn't quite that simple. And she had some stuff to work on too, but we got the treatment we needed, which was basically lessons on how to treat each other more better, and especially how to see the signs of strain and address it rather than letting the infection spread. It didn't happen over. But our relationship did heal well and fully, and as you read this, we're likely away from home on our 19th anniversary trip to the mountains. Josh remains a treasured friend, and I've learned so much from him about relationships and understanding myself and others. And if you're reading this, thanks buddy are listening. Where was it going? Oh yeah, relationship. These days, honey bear. And I joke with folks that her favorite milestone in the growth of local think tank was when we got big enough to fire her as our bookkeeper and outsource that work to a professional during our shared journey, Jill got a big promotion that almost doubled her pay, which remains slightly higher than my own salary from local think tank and provided our family with health insurance, which allowed me the free space to go full-time Loco and give enough focus to grow this business to what it is. I admire couples that find joy in being together in an entrepreneurial journey. And I admire those that find their purpose along different paths, you to UBU. And I especially admire those who build marriages and families and teams that are built to last, as I've shared before, I'm a proud member of the Fort Collins breakfast rotary club meeting Thursday mornings at 7:00 AM at ginger and baker. If you're curious, and one of the things that drew me to rotary and keeps me there is the 401k. Of the things we think say, and do one, is that the truth too? Is it fair to all concerned three, will it build Goodwill and better friendships and four, will it be beneficial to all concerned though, we come from many different backgrounds face and occupations. This test of our ethics is a common bond. I've been a bit envious of this element of rotary. And I've been thinking recently about what it is that helps our local chapters strengthen the relationships. And then a few weeks ago, I woke up with this little phrase on my mind, be kind, be present, be true. Be open, be humble. Be you. I don't know what this little phrase is. Maybe a minor. But I like it. And I'm noodling a how to initiate this sort of repeated phrase as part of our chapter meetings to reinforce our values and expectations during the meeting, without being dorky or compulsory about it. And as I reflected, it became clear that these encouragements are beneficial habits for all of our relationships. And they were demonstrated heavily in my conversations with both couples behind. In all our relationships, they prosper best, when we have the ability to encourage corrective action to point out when someone is being less than their best self at Loco, our initial list of values communicated that members might encourage and admonish with kindness. And I think it still holds true in this polarized world. We find ourselves in, we can stand apart from the crowd by demonstrating kindness, always. And with whomever we engage, whether or not we agree be present. Please turn off your cell phones or put them on silent as part of our meeting format and most chapters. And it's an encouragement to be present. It makes me cringe when I'm out for a lunch date with a client or prospect, and I see pairs or whole tables full of eaters, or soon to be eaters staring at their phones while they wait for the food. One of the greatest gifts we can give to one another is our time. And that must include our attention practice, active listening. When you're with your coworkers or with your children or your. And you'd be surprised how much more they're willing to share. Don't do it and see what happens. Be true. Truth is found not only in words we speak, but also interactions. Do we have a vision for where the business is heading? Are we headed in the right direction? Do our finances support a two week vacation in Hawaii? Is your staffers work performance really? As good as her review suggests, are you just being hesitant to speak truth because she's such a meanie and hates to hear about the gaps in our. Be open. Openness is a trait that many of our members share many don't know any other way. And it's easy for them to share in our meetings, but for others it's a major challenge. They know it's good for them. And so they do it. And the more they do it, the easier it becomes all of our relationships benefit from openness. Because when we don't know what one another are thinking, we make assumptions and we all know where that. Be humble of all the personality types I've ever encountered. The most challenging are the narcissists. I would have to say I've had a few conversations with such types and they literally think that every decision they've ever made was the right. At that time, which is crazy because I'm nearly perfect. And I'm only right about 99% of the time TA we're all a little bit narcissistic is what I'm trying to say with that last statement. We all mostly think we're right. And that's okay. But we'll be right more often and have more love in our lives. If we have the humility to. Just for a moment where we might have something to learn from others. And finally be you, even if you fake it till you make it be you about it. Authenticity is one of the strongest binding agents in today's society. Whether we're talking about employees to an organization or customers to your brand or listeners to your podcast, our younger generations have a strong focus on authenticity. I saw a t-shirt the other day that was so clever. Be authentic, not unique. And it speaks so much to the friction points in our lives and our society. If someone is trying to be unique, it probably isn't authentic to be authentic. You shouldn't have to try just be Kanye. Wouldn't be Kanye. If he was trying to be unique, he'd be Kanye because he be Kanye a shorty this month, but a goodie I hope. And I wonder what you would add to. What are the relationship vitamins that keep you and your sweetie on the same page or help you stay connected to your team or build rapport with new client prospects? Drop me a line. I'd love to hear it. And I hope this small encouragement helps you build a daily habit of relationship vitamins. Thanks for listening and talk to you next time.